Death Defying Acts
by Argea
Summary: Between the Wall and the free Cities, comes a story of a young woman memories and adventures. She started by hiding who she really was, but who will she become in the end? Jon/OC. R
1. 01 I'm Still Here

And my first GoT fanfiction, It's a Jon/OC story.

I want to send a special thank you to my wonderful beta **MrsBates93.** She's awesome!

Help with the dothraki:

Annakhat: _Stop_

Khaleesi, nayat vos remekat: _Queen, __the girl is awake!_

Now I command you to R&R! So now on to the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own what you know...thank you...

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_**Present**_

"Finally you've woken. They were doubting we would get to you in time."

"I…water…"

Sounds…faint ruffling sounds…Need to move…Snow…Liquid…

"Slowly…"

Accent…Strangers…The wildlings…Snow…

Darkness…

There's the sound of birds, the smell of fire and the coldness of winter…These are the three things I can feel right now. There is also something urgent I must do, but I honestly cannot seem to know what it is. Finally opening my eyes, I watch as the fabric of the tent ceiling above me floats in the wind. I will my legs to move out of the cot where I seem to be laying. It hurts, but they never really khastopped me from moving before, and they sure as hell won't stop me now.

"Annakhat!"

An older woman runs inside the tent screaming at me. She tries to push me down, and, unfortunately she quickly and successfully manages it. She mumbles in a strange dialect, one which I don't understand.

"What? I don't understand?" I say looking at her exasperated. She just sighs deeply and motions with her hands for me to stay still to which I nod.

For some time I lay down trying to keep my eyes open for whatever was going to happen as soon as the lady came back. She did come back a little while later followed by a blonde girl.

"Khaleesi, nayat vos remeka," the elderly lady told the blonde, who nods and walks towards me.

"I am Daenery's the Dothraki Queen. You were brought to us as a corpse - beaten and wounded. Do you know who you are?" She had a soft voice, confident; I remember when mine had that tone.

"Annora…Annora de Bos…I think that is my name," I say.

"What happened to you? Do you remember?" Daenery's asked.

"I don't know, I think I was attacked." I answered trying to clear the black fog inside my head.

Her big purple eyes stared at me with a mix of fear and courage. I started to get up and she took a step back. When I finally got up from the cot, I tried to find my balance. It felt like I hadn't stood up in years. Daenery's stood straighter, and even though she was smaller than me, the stance she took made her fill up the tent.

"Yes, you were. We found you lying outside," the Dothraki queen said."You were bruised and bloodied. Your heart was barely beating. I knew that I couldn't leave you behind."

"Thank you," I said nodding.

"Who attacked you? Were you alone?"

"Alone? No…I don't think I was…There was something…Someone…" Suddenly a pain in my head hits me and I start to feel light headed. I feel someone on me as soon as I try to reach something to steady myself. I open my eyes and the blonde female is helping me stand.

"So you were not alone then?"

"No, not alone." I steady myself and she lets go of me. "There was someone…"

"Who?"

I start to remember who it was, why we were attacked, what we were doing, where we were going. Past memories come rushing at me and no Dothraki queen could get to me in time. The blackness takes me and blinds me.

I dreamt of blood, fire and ice. Dreamt of running from someone evil, but whatever I was running to wasn't exactly good either. It was cold and hot at the same time. Happiness and sadness were the same. And suddenly it was gone. I was calm, there was nothing disturbing me. I was the still water in a noble's golden cup.

I don't know how many hours I've slept but when I wake up, I'm fresh and ready to get up. Looking around I remember the same cot and tent I've seen before. I walk outside, the daylight doesn't burn my eyes as much as I expected. Around me, men and women go around doing their daily tasks: most men were doing something withweaponry, and women were either sewing clothes, taking care of horses. What most men would say as being women's work.

"I see you're feeling better." Daenery's says from behind me. Turning around, I start to talk but the sight I see before me stops me from saying anything.

Three dragons walked happily behind the woman. I've never seen dragons in my entire life, no one ever saw dragons now. They were supposed to be extinct.

"Are those dragons? Real dragons?" I ask.

"Yes." The queen said smiling.

"Yours?" I ask again.

"Yes." This time the answer came with a hint of distrust and I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, they're lovely, I've never seen dragons before."

"They are mine," she said once again fiercely and I smile.

"Of course, and yes I'm feeling better."

"Do you remember anything?"

"I do."

"Was there someone with you?" She asks as she starts to walk and I follow her.

"There was…" I hear my own voice falter as the memories come back.

"Who? Are they alive?" The dragon on her neck looked at me and yawned.

I stop dead in my tracks and try to breathe. His screaming voice, the smell of his blood. But is he dead? He must be…I'm sure he is. He's dead…How can he be dead? How could I run away and leave him to die…I left him behind! I abandoned him…I'm a traitor…I should be dead.

"Annora?" Daenery's voice brings me back to the present and I feel the tears slide down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry…"

"So they are dead." Its more a statement than a question.

"He is…He's dead…"

Her eyes look up at me wide as saucers. Daenery's looked lost for a while, but not for long. She smiles kindly at me and nods.

"Are you sure?" She asks. Somehow her question doesn't seem strange.

"I…no…yes…"

She nods once again and smiles widely.

"Come, tell me what happened."

We walk into her tent. The three dragons lay down on some kind of makeshift cot near the fire. Daenery's tent is completely different from the one I was in before. Her's was bigger, but warmer. The ground was covered with fur from killed animals, and the tent walls were decorated with soft colourful fabrics. There's also the fact that her tent was filled with foreign objects.

The queen sits down in her fur filled cot and pointed to a somewhat makeshift chair, near her.

"Sit, tell me your story." I look at her and raised my eyebrows. She sighs and looks at the flames. "As I told you before, we found you bloodied, battered and bruised at the edge of the forest. It took a week for you to come around. Half your body was…well…eaten. The other half was cut. The medicine woman told us you were dead and you were until you started to breathe. You only had your clothes on you, but my soldiers told me that you had weapon holders in your dressings. Also you told me you were with someone else, a man and by the way you talked he must have meant something to you. I know how it is to lose someone who means so much to you. The thing I know that helps is to talk…remember…be at peace with the memories."

"I'm not sure I want to relive everything," I said slowly.

I can see why she was the queen. I might not know much about the Dothraki people, but I know their leaders must be fearless, wise and brave, and this small girl walked around with three dragons behind her, like she owned Westeros and the seas, she talked like a person twice her age, her mind worked exactly the same way. From where I came from, the girls her age were far from being this mature. They were either too preoccupied with themselves or with finding someone to marry.

"It's not something that must come out of want. It's something that must come out of need," she said once more smiling.

"I don't think I need to relive anything to have a calm state of mind."

"Come on, tell me his name, how you met him, how you came to be here without him."

"I…his name…is…Snow."

"Snow?"

"Jon Snow…The Stark bastard…"


	2. 02 Wisdom Justice and Love

Thank you once more to** MrsBates93** for beta'ing.

Now I command you to R&R! So now on to the story.

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**Past**

As I walked towards the wooden gates, I could see my breath coming out from beneath my mask. The whiteness of the place made it look eerie. Like a big wall of fog in the middle of the forest. The two men who were with me were talking animatedly about women and sex. They tried to pull me into the conversation, but neither of the subjects were to my liking. I kept walking towards the gate, trying to warm my feet inside my boots. Perhaps I could not realise at that moment that they were too cold for me to acknowledge the numbness that I could feel beginning to claw at my skin.

When the gates opened, the sound of clashing swords and fighting men came flooding towards us. My companions quieted down, probably wondering the same as me._How long am I going to last inside th__ese __walls_.

The lord that accompanied us ushered us inside before he got down from his horse. He walked heavily to our positions and we waited until another man joined us. After a few minutes the men that were fighting and talking around us, were standing next to us. Surrounding us.

I thought if no one figured out who or what I was right then and there, I'd be fine. Behind a metal mask and a black fur cloak, I was sure no one would see past my façade.

"Men of the Nightwatch, these are your new companions!" The man that stood next to us shouted. "Teach them, train them, but under any circumstances do not underestimate them!" He stopped and pushed each one of us into the middle.

Before me was a mixture of men in front of The Wall. I looked up as far as my eyes could see without actually turning my head upwards. I don't think showing my throat to a group of unknown men, holding long sharp swords was the best idea.

Someone touched my shoulder and I jumped looking at him.

"Come on ugly, he's showing us to our quarters,"he told me.

They started calling me ugly because I refused to take off the metal mask. And if I didn't have the mask on I had a scarf wrapped around my face only allowing my eyes to be seen. One of them asked what was up with the mask and I whispered that I had a scar that I was ashamed of. Low enough for them not to question. That would be the story that would help me through this whole façade.

I followed the men while the lord pointed to each of our quarters. He let us go in and settle everything we had. For me it was a black leather satchel with two metal masks similar to the one I had on, a few under garments, two rolls of ligatures and a pendant. The clothes I had on my body were the only ones I will dress in, until the day the weaver would make me some new ones. As with everything else, clothes could be made within the fortress walls. Weapons and armour, they train you for that.

Most of us would bring some kind of weapon along. Weapons that we were comfortable with. I had two small blades and a big sword. All the weaponry was stolen. I wish I could have a sappy story about my father giving me my first sword or something. But, I stole the swords from some man that tried to rape me while we were on our way to the wall.

There could have been two outcomes from that encounter. Either he would have taken what he wanted, and I'd be damaged for the rest of my life, probably even killed myself at that moment. Or I could grow a pair, mentally speaking, and do what had to be done.

It wasn't hard. I mean, I thought it would have been harder. Taking a human life and all. But he was a despicable character and once his knife was stuck in his stomach I didn't really care about him. Shoving him aside I had grabbed his weapons and walked away.

While inside the quarters I sat on the bed and slid the mask off and looked at it. It was carved with some ugly, angry expression. I bought the three of them at a market before joining the black man. They were used for some kind of fighting theatricals, but, right now they were serving my purpose. Hiding what I was.

A knock on the door startled me and I hurriedly placed the mask on my face and walked towards it. Behind the door stood a fat boy, dressed in black. At first he stood looking surprised, and then, after a few blinks, he smiled at me as if I was the greatest thing ever to happen in front of his eyes.

"Hello, I'm Sam," he said extending his chubby hand. I grabbed it and shook it, whispering my name.

"Bos. Bos Ora," I replied.

"I've been knocking on everyone's door. You know try and welcome the newcomers." He stopped and looked at the other closed door, and I peeked out and did the same. "No luck with that one. It would seem you're the only one that opened up," he said frankly and looked back at me.

He seemed genuine. Naive, non-threatening. I don't think he could have won a fight even if he wished it, at that point. I wondered why he was here on the Wall. Was he a thief? Or a son no one wanted?

"Come on I'll show you around," he said enthusiastically.

I'll be honest. For a while I thought he was going to jump me or something. He reminded me of some birds that liked to jump from place to place. Not fly, just jump. He was a happy go lucky kind of guy. Maybe that's what we needed here.

"Come on! Really I won't hurt you!" He exclaimed and I raised an eyebrow from behind the mask. I wasn't a master at swordsmanship, but I knew I could take him on.

I nodded, grabbed the hood of my cloak and placed it securely over my head.

True to his word, he didn't hurt me and he took me around the fortress. He showed me the kitchen, the mess hall, the black smith forge, the herbalist corner and some training grounds. He talked happily about everything and everyone. After a while I felt like a kid, nodding and smiling with him. His attitude was addictive.

The only two things missing from the grand tour was the stables and the top of the Wall.

We walked to the elevator and Sam made a sign to the man driving the mechanism of the elevator to bring it down.

We both stood near it. I was taller than Sam and he was trying his best to look as tall as me. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and grinned. It started to snow and I shrunk closer inside the cloak.

"We have to wait until the elevator comes down." He said, after a few moments of silence, kicking the ground and I smiled once more.

"Sam, where are you going?" A voice behind me shouted and we both turned around.

That was the first time I laid eyes on Jon Snow, the Stark bastard. And by Gods was he angry. He was probably the hardest person to crack a constant frown he carried with him was a trademark. 'Just leave me alone,' it screamed.

I took a step back as he strode towards us. Somehow I thought he was going to tackle me to the ground for some reason. I blamed the silent fury he had in his eyes, that was quickly translating to the way he was walking towards us.

His figure was, obviously, clad in black, his cloak drifted behind him and his raven black hair had some white spots where the snow had dropped on him. Now, all the girls in the city would be head over heels in love with this man, but I told myself it wouldn't happen to me. It took me a while until I realized the fault in my plan.

"Up the Wall," Sam said shrugging, pointing up.

"Why?" Jon asked as he came closer. Now I was cowering behind Sam.

Seriously! I was whimpering behind the fat, smaller guy. Me the tallest girl in my village. The girl hidden inside the Wall.

Now, you must understand, one thing I learned while being in the company of these two was, Sam is a pretty good shield against Jon's inner rage. No matter how pissed off that man was, place Sam between yourself and him, and he would take a deep breath and swallow the fury.

"Showing the new guy around. He was the only one who answered me when I did my rounds earlier."

Jon looked at me suddenly. We stood looking at each other for a while until he nodded at me. Then he turned back to Sam, and I knew I would live another day.

"I was waiting for you in the grounds." I looked at Sam and then back to Jon, and heard Sam groan.

"Shoot! Sword practice." He looked down and then up at the sky. "I knew I had forgotten something."

Jon rolled his eyes and I bowed my head to stop myself from laughing out loud. I think the three of us knew he hadn't forgotten sword practice at all.

"Well since you're here you might as well come up with us!" Sam said happily.

"I have training to do," Jon answered. "You might not want my help, but others do."

"You can train after we come back;come on Jon live a little!" Now we both looked at Sam and I mimicked Jon's expression, eyebrows raised, but with the mask he couldn't tell.

At the time, I wasn't used to the mask, and I would never be. In the future I would trade the mask for a thick black scarf, that would only cover half of my face, but it would help with my sight.

I could hear the internal battle inside Jon's head. I think people in Winterfell could hear the wheels turning. After a while I realized that was actually the elevator arriving and it surprised me when Jon walked in with us. The three of us stood looking at the centre of the lift, until Sam went back to his conversational self.

"Oh and by the way this is Jon Snow." He said pointing to Jon, who suddenly seemed to wake up from some deep thoughts and shoved his hand out.

"Sorry," he said. "I'm Jon Snow. And you are?"

"Bos Ora," I whispered low again.

"Why the mask Bos?" Sam asked and Jon elbowed him in the ribs.

"Scars," I answered.

By that time I realized I had to learn how to speak in a manly voice. Or at least sound a little less like a girl, and still be heard. I don't think whispering would work if there were urgent matters at hand.

"How did you get them?" Sam kept asking and I shrugged, looking down.

"In a fire." That night I actually wrote down the backstory of Bos Ora. He had been left in a barn to burn for stealing and he had escaped alive, healed his wounds and fled to the Wall. It wasn't exactly perfect, but I don't think anyone, aside from Sam would ask me many questions.

"Ouch! Well it's cold here so you're safe."

Mine and Jon's head shot up and stared at the scared boy, who was staring down Jon's usual frown plus an angry metal mask.

"There's more fire here than in all of King's Landing. That's how we keep warm Sam," Jon said slowly.

Suddenly it dawned on Sam's face what he had said. I let out a small chuckle and the men looked at me. I shook my head and looked at my feet. This was going very well.

The next few minutes of the journey were made in silence. When we arrived at the top of the Wall Sam started to walk to the small ice side path. We walked and walked until we were standing in one of the clearings.

The view was unbelievable. Snow covered everything, from where we stood tall on the Wall to the edge of the forest, where the shadow of the trees seemed to cover some spots on the ground, until the big white clouds, mixed with the curtain of falling snow, seemed to engulf the world around us. No matter where you looked, that's what you saw. Snow and shadows.

"You should breathe now." I head Jon say from behind me and I let the breath I was holding go. He placed a hand on my shoulder."Welcome to the Wall."

His hand was followed by Sam's on my other shoulder.

"Welcome to the Nightwatch!"


	3. 03 Morning After Dark

R&R peeps...go at it...

Beta'ed: MrsBates93

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**Present**

Daenerys is looking at me expectantly until she finally understands I have finished my story. My head hurts, my eyes hurt, even my heart hurts. Every single nerve ending in my body is screaming bloody murder.

Remembering that sight, that feeling of acceptance by my friends, made my heart hurt as if it had been struck by a sharp knife.

"That's it?" She asks confused. Her light brown eyebrows furrowed.

I look up and question her silently. Her three dragons are lying on her lap. One of them is wide awake, as if its listening to us, the other two are fast asleep, snoring quietly.

"That's how you met Jon? Did you love him right then?" She asks again.

"Probably not right at that exact second," I stand up and stretch my arms above my head. The small dragon that was still wide awake flew in circles around me. "But it started there."

"I didn't know you could fall in love that fast." I sit back down and relax.

She looks like a child, thinking about something they can't quite grasp. Was the concept of loving someone just because you felt like it, too much for her?

"Didn't you love Drogo when you first saw him?"

She looks at me and laughs. She had told a bit of how she came here before I started telling my stories. She was sold by her brother. I had to shrug. I would never understand the Targaryens.

"Me and Drogo? No, it was a long and hard road to get me to be in love with him. I mean, I don't think love really described what we had. It was more of…well…I…"she trails off.

"You loved him," I state.

After a while she nods to me and smiles sadly. We both sit there thinking about the past until Dany jumps up and places the dragons on their nest. She looks at me and smiles brilliantly.

"Come, let's take a walk. My legs are hurting from sitting," she says.

"Yes, Khaleesi."

"Will you tell me more of your story?" She asks as we walk between the tents and the Dothraki people going about their daily tasks.

"If you wish."

"Yes!" She exclaims with more enthusiasm than I expect which she realizes. "Sorry. It's just I love stories and I haven't read a good book in quite a while, so you are my book right now."

"Thank you Khaleesi."

"Call me Dany. You are not a Dothraki, so there is no need for formalities."

"But you are a queen, that's how you shall be referred as."

"Who was ruling on the other side?"

"Everyone."

She looks at me surprised and I nod.

"Last time I remember knowing the king's name everyone was a king of something. Things are confusing on the other side of the sea."

"Well then I'm glad that you and I are on this side," she says shrugging. "Come story teller, let's eat I hope you like horse meat."

"Never tried it," I say shrugging myself.

"You'll learn to like it."

We walk towards a fire and sit on a log as the rest of the Dothraki people sit around us and eat with us.

I find their dialect entertaining. It suits them. It's rough but it's quite lyrical. I can't understand a word their saying but I like hearing them talk.

I focus my attention to a conversation between two women. Half clad in furs, braided hair and faces painted in black. Their arms are painted, smeared with a thick blue paint. The words they are spitting out makes it seem like their having a fierce discussion, but the expression on their faces tell another story. They happily talk about something I don't understand.

"They're talking about a new colt. He's strong and healthy." A blonde man says taking a seat next to me and offering me and Daenerys a plate of food.

"Ah," Daenerys smiles and accepts the plate. "Ser Jorah, my friendly translator and advisor."

I smile and give him my hand to shake and he kisses it like I'm a lady from the court.

"That's new," I say, surprised.

"That's how we treat the ladies where I am from," he says starting to eat from his plate. "Although I don't think I've met any ladies that are like the two of you." I look at him with curiousity in my eyes. "The clothes you were wearing when we found you. They were all black. Do they let girls into the Night's Watch now?"

"Not if they know that she's a girl. Otherwise, they don't really check our intimate parts," I joke taking a small bite out of the horse meat. It wasn't great, but it was food after all.

"Did you make your vows?" He asks and I nod.

"Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honour to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come."

I take a deep breath and look at Ser Jorah, his mouth was slightly agape.

"A female sworn crow. The father must have had a field day when he found out."

"Father?"

"Lord Jeor Mormont, 997th Lord Commander of the Watch."

I smile.

"Your face wasn't strange."

"I know of the Night's Watch," Daenerys joins our conversation. "You must tell me more about this."

"Tomorrow Khaleesi. Now, it's time to eat and rest."

"Yes, nhizo."

"What did you just called me?" I ask.

"Raven," Ser Jorah translated.

"I see what you did there."

We spent the rest of the evening talking about the life of the Dothraki and their customs. Daenerys wouldn't let anyone bring the subject of my stay in the Night's Watch up as she wanted to hear it all tomorrow. I felt tired when the sun came down and Daenerys walked me to my tent.

"You are very trusting," I say to her honestly.

"I am. I am also very smart and I hope you've noticed you didn't see any of your weapons since you woke," she says knowingly.

"I thought you hadn't found any weapons with me."

"I know and you thought that too, Nhizo." She smiles widely and I smile with her. She is smart. I can see her in Kings Landing fooling everybody with her sweet exotic looks.

"I understand Khaleesi. If and when you need or want to give them to me I'll accept them. Until then I'm your guest. I am grateful that you saved my life." I bow my head to her and she nods.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes!"

I walk into the tent and lay my head on the furs. It didn't take more than a few moments for me to fall into a dreamless sleep.


	4. 04 The Game

Beta'ed: MrsBates93

Read and Review Please and Thank you

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**Past**

The first fight I was ever in was stupid. I did something that you should never do; I allowed my pride to blind me. Your emotions should never be in the way when you fight. And if they are, pride should never be one of them. Rage is alright if you can control it and keep your focus. But when it's you first fight, not even rage is a good friend.

The weather was cold, as it usually was in Castle Black. Sam, Jon and I had become quite a dysfunctional group. When Sam got teased by the other brothers one of us would jump in. The first time I did it I could see the surprise in Jon's eyes as we both stood side by side, swords ready to be drawn. But, alas it wasn't necessary. Apparently Jon had already clashed swords with that group.

Anyway, the three of us were standing with the master blacksmith. We were trying and failing to forge our first swords. Mine was crooked, Jon's was curved and Sam's was simply non-existent.

We didn't know if we should laugh at our pathetic attempts at sword making or to cry about it. The first swords we make should be kept until our first kill. But one look at each other and we knew that wasn't going to happen.

Some of the brothers walked by us and made some snarky comments about our fine swordsmanship. But we took no interest in them. It was our first time, and we weren't born knowing everything.

After a few hours at this, we walked out, proudly lifting our swords. Well Sam and I were lifting them, Jon had his hidden. You know, for Jon that was probably the ugliest thing he had ever held. But, he had made it.

The snarky guys from before passed us again and we decided that this time, we weren't going to let them pass by without a fight. So they went for our weakest points. They threw Sam on the ground just as the other one grabbed my sword and broke it in two pieces on his knee. Jon was probably fighting off the others. I doubt he'd be sitting idly by as Sam and I got thrown around, but by then I was seeing red.

The sword wasn't good. It was a piece of shit. The fact that a boy could break it on his leg was proof enough. But it was my first sword that I had made myself and I was god damn proud of that piece of shit.

The next thing I knew I was tackling the boy to the ground. I tried to stay on top of him, but the balance from the tackle made me roll off of him and I laid on the ground for a few seconds before trying to get up.

The boy was faster though. He grabbed my ankle and pushed it. I fell face first onto the ground. My mask wasn't strong enough to protect me against the impact, and as soon as the boy turned me around, I could feel blood oozing from my nose.

He raised his hand and knocked his fist into my metal clad face. There is never a bigger pain than the first time you get punched in the face. I could almost feel my brain shake inside my skull. The mask didn't stop his attack; if anything it made his knuckles bleed earlier than if he was pounding on flesh.

The second punch came and it was only after the third, as I felt the blood running from my mouth, did my brain start to kick in.

The only two things he had left unattended were my hands, and from the position I was in, I couldn't get a proper punch in even if I tried. And since my hands were clad in leather, scratching wasn't much of an option either.

When I saw the fourth punch coming down towards me, I looked him in the eyes and found his weakest point.

I got my hands onto his face, placed my thumbs in his eyes and squeezed.

His pain filled screams seemed to make my brain work even faster. I pushed his face further away from me, as I started to sit on the snow covered floor.

I was sitting on the floor with him on my lap when I head butted him so hard I didn't think that I had it in me.

He fell, hands to his eyes, rolling on the floor.

I stood up and looked at the boy. When he had punched me, a few minutes ago I had thought he was big, larger than even the commander. Now, he was small, smaller than a rat. Even Sam was taller than him at that moment.

I walked to him and place a foot on top of his chest and leaned, making sure my full weight was directly pressing down onto his chest. He groaned in pain and I grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled him towards my mask.

"You blinded me!" He screamed.

"You broke my sword!" I shouted back.

"It was just a sword!" He retorted.

"It was my sword!" I shook him by the collar. "No one takes my sword! Not even you!"

"Bos!" I heard someone shout at me. "That's enough!"

I looked up to see Jon looking at me shaking his head. I looked down again and let the boy go.

I straightened up and suddenly it dawned on me that I had been in a fight, with a Night Watch wannabe, I had managed not to be knocked unconscious and to actually win. However, I had also screamed my lungs out, which might have just made me a dead woman.

Some of the boys who had been training stopped to look at the altercation, but did nothing. This was normal, they were boys after all.

I looked around to see if anyone was looking suspiciously at me. But after a while everyone went back to their tasks and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I heard the elevator arrive and ran to it. I made the trip up silently, wishing it would go faster. I just wanted to take this metal thing off my face and assess the damage that had been done. I felt like I was drowning in my own blood.

I arrived at the top of The Wall and walked to the last opening that was free. The same opening that Sam had taken me to on my first day here.

My head ached and I could feel the blood running out from under my mask and dripping down my neck. I finally took off the mask and grabbed a handful of snow, placing it on my face. I had the hood of the cloak up, so even if someone approached me from the side I would be somewhat covered.

I knew that once I was warm, at night, inside the covers of my bed, my face would hurt like hell, but now, between the natural coldness and the snow on my face I couldn't feel a thing.

Since I couldn't walk around the place without the mask I started to fill it with snow, to cool it off even more and placed it by my side. For a while I just sat there, feet dangling from The Wall, cloaking spreading behind me, silent snow falling all around me, ice cold breeze passing through me. So it was easy to hear the footsteps coming towards me. I looked down so that the hood of the cloak covered all of my face from whoever was coming.

I saw a pair of black boots join mine on the other side of The Wall. We sat there silently for a while. Until he took a deep breath and my suspicions were proved to be correct. Jon Snow was sitting next to me, and I was unmasked.

"Maybe you should join Sam at sword practice," he said and I shrugged.

"Maybe I should," I said, keeping my voice low. I was almost sure that if he had noticed something wrong he would have told me so.

"You're resourceful I'll give you that," he said leaning forward, making me try to hide myself even more in the cloak. "That eyeball squeeze was well improvised."

"Is he alright?" I asked.

"Oh yes he'll live to fight another day. Are you alright?" I nodded. Right now I feel great. Try asking me that again in a few hours and you would get a completely different answer. "You have to start and pick your battles Bos." I nodded again. "It was a piece of shit of a sword that you made; it was not worth the fight. It wasn't worth the hurt either. As a member of the Night's Watch you should start to see what's worth fighting for and what isn't."

"It was just a fight," I say.

"We can't turn on each other. You have to be the bigger man."

My mind screamed: _"__But I'm not a man!__"_But my mouth stayed silent.


	5. 05 Human

Beta'ed: MrsBates93

**Present**

"The Stark boy is wise," Ser Jorah says taking a sip from his cup.

"He's a Stark they are wise," I respond and he raises his glass to that.

"He's not a Stark," Daenerys argues. "He's a bastard."

"And you're a Targaryen who calls herself Khaleesi, the Dothraki queen," I counter.

She looks at her hands and nods. She sees the holes in what she has just said.

Today, Ser Jorah decided to join in my story telling. He had walked inside the tent and asked for Dany's permission and, of course, she nodded. So the three of us settled comfortably on the floor of the tent, in the midst of furs and some dried fruit and I started to tell my story, until I was tired.

"So I take it they didn't find out that day that you were a woman?" Jorah asks.

"Later he told me the mask muffled my voice. It made my voice rougher," I answer smiling as I recall that moment; when I actually had a conversation with Jon without wearing the mask.

"So, I take it your carefully planned speech wasn't needed?" Dany asks as one of her pet dragons comes to sit next to her.

"It was, I just couldn't suddenly burst into a speech without being caught. As much as I tried to hide it, I don't have a men's voice."

"What else did you do to stay hidden?" The Khaleesi inquired.

"Bandages for my chest. The three layers of clothing helped the fact that my body is curvier. The armour made me look stockier. The mask hid my face." I take a strand of my shoulder length brown hair between my fingers. "And this is the longest my hair has ever been. My hands were always covered with gloves. The only parts of my body that were visible were my eyes and neck."

"What about when you had your monthly bleeds? You do bleed don't you?" Dany asks again eagerly.

"Bandages, a whole lot of bandages." I smile at the mixture of disgust and embarrassment on Ser Jorah's ace.

"You are a master of disguise," Ser Jorah jokes.

"Yes I suppose I am," I reply, stifling a laugh from escaping.

"I take it that this is the most uncovered you've ever been?" Daenerys asks and I look down at myself.

In all fairness, I haven't looked in a mirror in a long time. I know my hair is longer because I can hold it fully in my hands without any wild strand hanging around my neck, and I can also see my hair when I twirl it around my fingers.

But I just nod at the Khaleesi.

At The Wall, my clothing would consist of three layers: undergarments, grey shirt and leggings, another shirt, this time black, and pants. Above that I would wear my leather armour, the long hooded cloak, gloves and boots. Aside from all the clothing, we would have to wear all the weaponry that we owned. In the end, I had so many layers of clothing on top of me, I didn't believe that a sword could pass through it.

But, right now, I am wearing some kind of fitted, brown leather pants, my Night's Watch boots, and a dark brown leather sleeveless top which wrapped around my neck, and left my navel bare. I was actually pleasantly surprised to know I actually had a belly button. I wasn't accustomed to seeing it every time I looked down.

"Yes, this is barest I have ever been," I finally answer. "But truthfully I don't think I could walk around with three layers of thick Night's Watch clothing in this heat."

"We have kept them just in case," Daenerys says and I bow in respect.

"Well, ladies, I have shall have to take my leave. Lorak is waiting for me to ride around the camp for a short time."

Ser Jorah stands up and walks to Dany and bows to her before he walks over to me and bows to me as well. I smile as he leaves and look at Dany, who is staring intensely back at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Who are you really?" She asks.

"Do you really want to know who I am, or my past? What house I belong to? My family? Does that even matter?"

"It shouldn't, but I need to know if you're an enemy of my house. If you are a danger to my people, to me."

"I'm not an enemy to your house, or anyone's house for that matter. You are not in danger, neither are your people. When I joined The Wall, I came from no house,even now I belong to no house. I am an enemy to the people who offended me or my friends. I have no family. Right now my world is this. I don't know how I got to the other side of the sea. I don't know how I survived after the attack. I'm not saying you should trust me. But I will not harm you in any way, if you don't harm me."

"You know, if you ever hurt one of my people, I will kill you," I nod. "I think you are a good person. My instincts are usually right, and they are telling me you won't hurt anyone. But they are still my people."

"And once again I understand."

"But you are not my prisoner. You are my guest. So I will treat you as one."

"I owe you my life, Khaleesi. I wouldn't think of hurting you or anyone in this tribe."

"Thank you. Now tell me more of your story."

"I'm tired," I say as I look down at my hands.

"You're sad," Dany says and I feel her moving closer towards me.

I look up into her purple eyes and she's kneeling in front of me, two dragons perched on her shoulder their black eyes looking straight at me. I notice that the other one is flying above us.

"I'm afraid…" I trail off.

One of the dragons perched on her shoulder hides his face under a wing as if understanding what I'm saying. I carefully place a finger near it's tiny head and he takes his face from under his wing, smells my finger and rubs his muzzle on it. I smile sadly.

"Of what Nizho?"

"Forgetting those who have passed on," I answer.

"Nonsense." I look up at her, surprised at her dismissive tone. "You're a wooden log." I raise my eyebrows in curiousity at her meaning and she just shakes her head and rolls her eyes in response before she speaks. "Whenever someone comes into your life, they leave a mark there. Just like when you carve something into a wooden log. No matter how much time has passed since it was last carved. No matter how many layers of moss covers the wound, there will always be a mark there. No matter how many years pass, the people that were carved into us, they'll be there, in our deepest memories. They'll always be there."

"You are very wise for someone your age."

"We must be about the same age."

I look at my hands. There are scars there. Carvings. Not all of them are from fights, some are from hard work others from plain clumsiness. I smile at the scars that I can see. I could tell a story about each of those scars.

"Then do!" Daenery's is sitting once again in her fur bed.

"What?" I ask in surprise.

"You said you could tell a story about each of your scars then that is what you should do!"


	6. 06 Empty Spaces

Beta'ed by wonderful MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

The sword practicing was probably the most important part of my stay at The Wall. Jon, Sam and I would meet in the middle of the courtyard even if it rained or snowed.

We'd grab the wooden training swords and Jon would teach us the right positions, the right way to strike an opponent, how to defend ourselves, and the different stances. Of course as I was the impatient one I stopped having fun shortly after the tenth lesson.

"Right hand up, left hand to steady yourself," Jon said bringing his own sword to show us the position he had been teaching for the last hour. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Sam was willingly trying to mimic Jon's movements with pride, while I did the whole exercise before Jon told us the rest of it. I finished and dropped the sword on the ground.

The clink of it as it hit the ground made both men look at me and I placed my hands on my hips.

"Is this all I'm going to do?" I asked, my voice now trained to sound low and rough. It still was a bit high pitched but, it would have to do. I couldn't be silent all my life.

"What?" Jon turned to me and frowned. At least I think he was frowning.

"Right hand up, left hand steady. I know this all off by heart," I argued.

"Good. Keep doing it until you don't need to know it off by heart," he countered and turned to Sam. "Your sword is still too heavy in your hand."

I felt my jaw clenched and this time I didn't see red. This time it was a flash of blue that hit my eyes and my mind registered everything surrounding me.

The sword on the ground was within my reach with a kick upwards. Jon's back to me, paying more attention to Sam's clumsy attempt at a defensive move. His lack of armour. My three layers of clothing that could protect me from his sword. The three big steps I took and the feel of my feet crunching on the snow beneath them. And then…silence.

I threw my sword aiming for the back of his knee and he knelt on the ground, giving me a perfect view of his neck, where I was intending to hit next. However Jon was too quick and countered my attack with his weapon.

Before he could strike I jumped and made use of his teachings. Right hand up, left hand steady, feet apart, knees bent, feet ready to move.

"What are you doing Bos?" Jon asked as he stood up.

"I'm sick of fighting air or a dummy, or anything that cannot fight back for that matter," I argued.

"I'm not going to fight you!"

"Alright I'll strike you until you do."

I felt the unusual grin on my face and Jon's frown dissipated and changed into a look of surprise.

Once again, I felt the world move slowly. I pounded my feet on the ground and ran at my unwilling sparring partner. My eyes caught the movement his hand made to reach his sword. I knew he was going to defend himself until I was tired, but at that moment I just wanted to hit him. As I tried to ignore what my head was telling me, Jon moved and I crashed into the tree trunk behind him.

Honestly I don't remember what woke me from my reverie, if it was the pain in my nose, or Jon's body pressing my own into the tree. It was a bad time to be having those thoughts really. He was screaming something into my ear. But I wasn't really listening. The buzz from the fight was still vibrating into my head and the clothing layers that I thought were so thick it could protect me from a wooden stick, were far too thin to protect him from the heat that escaped between the two of us.

He kept yelling for a good few minutes, jerking me and hitting me against the tree. And my mind screamed, 'listen to what he's saying, listen!'

"Stop jerking me," I said slowly, I felt the blood from my nose running down my face, under the mask and pooling near the scarf I was wearing.

"Not until I get something into that thick head of yours, that this isn't just knowing! It's instinct," he yelled a bit more. "Do you hear me?" He jerked me again.

"I think all the people in Winterfell can hear you, Jon!" I heard Sam's confused voice shout.

"Shut up Sam."

He shook me once again but this time turned me towards him. Of course that didn't help the heated feelings coursing through my body, which at that moment were scaring me more than anything.

I looked down and spat the blood I had in my mouth onto the floor. A pool of red liquid stained the white snow covered ground and I was transfixed by it, until Jon pushed my head up forcefully so that I could look at him. Not that I needed much help, I was almost as tall as him.

He looked at my face at and at the blood that kept trickling from my hidden nose.

"I'm sorry," he said me looking into my eyes. It was sincere.

I hated him right there and then. I understood that he could infuriate me as much as I could infuriate him. And it showed me that he would always be the bigger man. He was capable of apologizing even if it wasn't his fault. Hell, he could see his lack of judgment in the matter and ask for forgiveness. And be so fucking sincere about it.

I kept looking at him and took a deep breathe. Son of a bitch.

"I'm sorry," I replied and swallowed.

He looked confused for a moment and then let go of my chin. Kneeling in front of me he picked up a handful of ice and pushed it into my mask.

"Get back to your position. We aren't finished yet," he said and walked away.

"I crashed into a tree!" I shouted, shoving handfuls of ice into my nose. He turned his sword over in his hand.

"That tree has been there since you arrived. Next time you try and jump someone, make sure to check your surroundings," he replied, before approaching Sam who was already up and ready.

"I'm bleeding!" I argued and his shoulders tensed.

"There's ice on the ground. Pick it up and put it in your nose."

"I can't fight with a bleeding nose!"

He turned around so fast I jumped back against the tree again. It took him exactly two and a half strides to get to me.

"Then go home, where your mother can take care of your bruises. Once you cross The Wall, no one will care about you if you're bleeding unless it makes us slow down. Once you cross The Wall, you'll fight with a bleeding nose, or worse." I looked at him and nodded. "Get back to your position."

We stayed there until the sun went down. Jon wouldn't pay much attention to me but I heard every single word he was shouting at us. We seemed to advance a bit in our lesson today, aside from the unfortunate event that had passed between us.

Once Jon gave us leave, the three of us marched into our quarters to freshen up and grab some warmer clothes. We met at dinner time and walked into the mess hall sitting down in our usual spot. Jon and Sam sitting across from me. Sam made sure that everyone knew about the 'big fight' that had 'Jon on his knees' and that sent Bos 'into an amazing crash into the thickest tree in the back yard.'

I saw Jon roll his eyes and grin at me. But then, when I had calmed down, and thought back to the events that had happened I felt ashamed. He was kind enough to teach me and Sam how to hold a sword properly and I hadn't given him the respect he deserved. I had behaved like the spoiled little girl I was.

When another member of the Night's Watch asked how fast Jon's fall was, I got up abruptly and left the hall. I heard the silence from my brothers but didn't mind. I needed to sum up the courage to really apologize to Jon.

I walked up and down the courtyard until I found myself next to the tree that I had offended earlier. I sat down at its frozen roots and took the mask off, replacing it with the scarf. The cold air, once again helped my bruised face by cooling it down and numbing the pain. I sat there, trying to think of an apology to give to Jon as soon as I saw him again. It had been a difficult task; I had to make sure it didn't sound really feminine, but still be sincere and heartfelt.

"Is your nose better?" I heard his rough voice ask.

"Yes," I said and looked at him.

"What did I tell you about being the bigger man?" I cringed at his voice.

"That I should be one," I mumbled.

"Exactly! The truth is I can't go much faster in teaching you," he told me pushing his cloak around him more. "If I do, Sam won't catch up."

I felt like throwing myself off The Wall there and then. Of course, he was going to go slow because of Sam. Our chubby friend who needed a tad more encouragement about this whole thing. And me, of course, being the bitch that I was, thought of myself only. I groaned and laid my head on my hands.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"I know. But, it's not me you should be apologizing to," he said standing up. "It's the tree. I think I see a dent right there!"

I looked up and laughed behind the scarf. He grinned again and turned away, limping to The Wall.


	7. 07 Welcome To The Universe

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

**Dothraki:**

Yer ray ezolat lekh: You have learn the language.

Ai, naqis: Yes, small.

Vos loy: No. A bit

* * *

**Present**

"So you hurt him!" Daenerys exclaimed.

"Yes," I reply yawning from my place in her bed.

We are both sitting on top of it, eating. Dry horse meat and fruit are on a golden plate in front of us. It was just me and her today. Ser Jorah was out with the men trying to hunt. I wanted to go with them, but Daenerys wasn't having any of it.

"Did you ever fight again?" She asks placing a small piece of meat in one of the dragon's mouths.

"Oh yes! We couldn't keep our swords apart for long," I say sincerely and she gives me a sly smile.

"Oh I see." It takes me a while to realise what she's implying.

"No! That's not what I meant!"

"Oh isn't it?"

"No I meant swords!"

"Of course you meant it like that." She still holds the grin on her face and I feel my cheeks burn. "It's nothing to feel bad about. Believe me I learned that the rough way." I must have cringed because she shakes her head and smiles. "Lust is normal between a man and a woman."

"I was a man back then. Lust couldn't be anywhere around me," I tell her as I grab another piece of fruit and she rolls her eyes.

"You could have been disguised as a horse and you would still feel that way. It's not your brain that's functioning right at that moment, its your heart."

"You don't lust over someone with your heart."

"No, but it controls the rest of your body," she says shrugging.

"Have I told you that you are far too wise for your age?"

"Yes, many times. But getting back to the subject at hand," I frown. She's stubborn as much as she's wise. "Did you and Jon ever go from lust to the actual thing?" I shake my head. "Why not?"

I roll my eyes. "I was a man!" Daenerys mimics my expression and sighs angrily.

"You really are thick headed like Jon said." She places her hands on her knees and calmly starts again, "It doesn't matter if you are male or female. Your heart will make you follow it, regardless of whether it's male with male or female with female. If the heart wants something, the heart gets it. Lust like love is blind. It goes by the scent alone."

"You are definitely too wise for your age." I shake my head as she smiles. "I'm going to get some more fruit, and to see if the men have come back from the hunt."

She jumps up from the bed and follows me.

"How long have you been with us?" She asks.

"I've lost count of the days Khaleesi."

"Twenty five nights." I'm surprised to know that she has been counting the days.

"Really? I've been with you and your people for that long?"

"Yes. We are about to cross the Red Waste," she says looking forward. "Do you know about it?"

"Only stories."

"Me too," she stops and I do as well. "You have been more than helpful around here. Aside from entertaining me, I've seen you try and learn to take care of the horses and help around the camp. Yer ray ezolat lekh."

"Ai, naqis." I try and speak the new language.

"Vos loy." She smiles. "You are welcome to come with us and be as much a member of the Dothraki as you wish. Or you can turn back. From what I've heard the Waste is a grave yard. I would never ask you to come with us. If you want to leave, you may do so. I will provide you with a horse, but that is as much as I can do."

I look at the ground. I honestly have nowhere else to go. I don't even know how I got here; let alone how I'll leave. And where will I go? Back to The Wall? Right like that is an option. Being flooded by memories of Jon wasn't going to be easy. And then there was the fact that if I should appear back on The Wall alive and kicking I'd be considered a deserter. Which meant I was as good as dead. The only way I could get back to Westeros is by being me. Bos Ora, a member of the Night's Watch died in the North, beyond The Wall. I look at Daenerys who is looking back at me expectantly.

"I'll come with you if you'll have me. I will protect you the best I can."

She smiles and nods.

"You can come, but I don't think I'll need protecting. Unless you think you can protect me from grains of sand."

"Those are the worst enemies Khaleesi," I joke and we both laugh.

"It's good to have another Westeros woman to talk to. Ser Jorah can only do so much and sometimes I feel like I'm going to die without having another conversation that is either about horses, dragons or feeding the people."

"I'm glad to have met you Khaleesi. Even if it meant to be in these circumstances," I tell her as we get more dried fruits from a woman near the fire.

"I am sorry for you loss Nizho."

"So am I."

"Well, Nizho, we need to give you a horse. Come," Dany says and we veer off to the small horde of horses.

The animals weren't attached to any type of branch or anything, like the ones at The Wall. They were free, they could just gallop away, but they chose to stay. They look healthy and I've noticed they are treated well. I have helped take care of them. Just like Dany had said I was helping around the camp.

It would annoy me that the women would tend to me and I would accept it without giving anything to them in return. So when I was talking to Daenerys I would sit down, or join the women and watch as they weaved, dried the food or took care of the horses. Eventually I learned and started to help around, carry my weight. As soon as I started to help, their angry looks and rough manners changed into ones of acceptance, even a few hellos and attempts to talk to me.

"I thought only your guards owned horses," I say remembering the stories I had been told about the warriors being the only ones who rode the horses.

"Well, you are good doing a woman's work, but I think I can put you to better use. You say you can use a sword, let's see how you handle yourself against a Dothraki warrior in a sparring match and if you are as good as you say you'll become a guard. If you fail, you can keep the horse, but you might lose the people's trust or your life."

I nod that I understand. That day would have come sooner or later; the day where I had to prove my backstory was true, and it was, but at the end of the day a Dothraki warrior was a Dothraki warrior. I'll give it everything in this fight.

"Now about the horse." We wander between the horses and come to a mare. "She bolted from the group a few hours before we found you. But one of the riders brought her back." She places her hand on the mare's muzzle and petted her. "My riders have been breaking her in, and she seems comfortable with someone riding her. She is yours if you want her."

I walk around the horse. She had a black tail and mane, her coat was a dark ginger, but near her hoofs it was snow white just like her muzzle. Truthfully I don't understand anything about the constitution of a horse, so I'm trying to compare her to the horses at The Wall.

"I'll keep her,"I say as I pet her on her mane.

"Good." She smiles. "When the men come back from the hunt I'll ask one of them to train with you. Until then, you've got time for another memory."


	8. 08 Catalyst

Beta'ed: MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

The swords clashed against each other. We had scowls on our faces, although mine was less perceptible, because of the mask.

It started with a surprise on Jon's behalf. After two months of nothing but listen and repeat, he told us to spar with him.

Sam groaned as Jon told him he was first. He dragged himself to the courtyard and positioned himself, a wooden sparring sword in one hand.

Much to our surprise Sam fought with everything he had, putting into practice everything he had learned. Defend, attack, counter-attack. I found myself surrounded by my brothers, cheering for Sam. Shouts of 'go get him' and 'go Sam' filled the cold air. They fought bravely, but Jon saw the possibility of winning and took it. He pushed Sam backwards, making him trip and fall. His sword fell with him and slid away from his reach. Jon walked to his fallen comrade and pointed his sword at Sam's neck.

"Dead." He said simply as Sam looked down ashamed, until he was swarmed by everyone who had watched him fight Jon.

"Great job Sam," I said helping him up, while almost being pulled down.

"Really?" He asked dusting of his cloak.

"Are you kidding?" Another brother asked. "That was great!"

"I'm actually sorry I did punch you that time!" Another one added and everyone snickered.

"Bos!" I cringed when I heard my name being called out by Jon. "Your turn!"

"Go on Bos! If I can do it so can you," Sam urged and I nodded.

I turned to my friend and took a deep breath. Since that incident with the tree I hadn't really tried to jump him again. I was actually embarrassed about that event. If I never heard about it again, it would be too soon. When he had told us we were going to fight him, I was excited, but now that I'm standing in front of him, feet apart, sword in hand, looking at him, I'm not happy at all. The thing that creeped me out the most was the fact that he was actually grinning. He never grinned.

We both just stood there looking at each other. I was actually doing what he taught me. Observing my enemy and my surroundings. I was sure he was just taunting me. We were just watching, waiting for the other to make the first move. And then, all hell broke loose. Once we started, it was next to impossible for anyone to stop us.

I saw his feet move as he started to run towards me, and I got ready for him. Our swords crashed against one another, as we stood face to face. He kept grinning and I shoved him backwards, hoping he would fall. But nothing happened.

Every thrust of my sword was met by his, and every thrust of his was countered by mine. As Jon had carved everything that was important about fighting into my mind, the sword became part of my body, an extension. When I moved, it moved with me. My surroundings became clear when I needed them to be and clouded over when I didn't. The wooden poles helped me to defend a few of Jon's attacks. The rocks on the ground helped my attacks. I was jumping, ducking, kicking and punching, and so was he. We were relentless.

At some point, Jon had tried to make me fall; making it look like it was my own fault by moving out of range at the last minute. But I was ready for this, I saw the wooden pole behind him and put a foot up and as it hit the pole, it provided me with enough leverage to turn around and charge at him again.

We found each other without weapons some times, but that didn't stop us. We would dive, run, and slide until we got our swords.

After, what seemed like an eternity, I could feel my heart pumping so fast I thought it would break through my armour. The cold air hurt when I breathed and I knew was getting tired, but so was he. What I didn't know then was that he had something I didn't, focus. He had seen I was tired and waited, making miserable attempts at attacking, to which I would defend and therefore, tire myself out.

It took him a blink of my eyes to disarm me and throw me against a nearby support beam. He placed his arm on my throat, but kept his sword down. I struggled against him, I tried the eye trick again, but his hands found my wrist when he saw the move. I tried to head butt him but he saw that coming too and moved his head out of reach.

Now, with my back against the wooden pole, my wrists held down, my chest pinned against his, my heart beating as fast as it could go; I was as good as dead. I looked at his face and he was no longer grinning. His famous frown had made a reappearance. Although I thought he was enjoying this, I realized that I was going to lose a fight against Jon Snow yet again.

Until he moved. What he did was quite simple. His feet were probably becoming numb from the lack of movement and the coldness of the ground, so he moved his feet further apart, which placed one of my legs between his.

"Yield," he mumbled.

I looked down; hoping it would look like I was ashamed. It worked, when I felt his grip lessen and then I made my move. I thrusted my armoured chest against him which took him by surprise. I knew this wasn't going to make him fall, but it gave me enough space to push my knees up between his legs.

I felt guilty as he fell onto the snow but I ran away from him, grabbing both of our swords from the ground. I stuck them into the snow and leaned against mine, waiting for him to get up. The courtyard was silent, darkening; torches were being lit as I waited.

It took him a while to get up, so I started to assess the damage I had taken. Few bruises, no broken bones, my forehead was bleeding a little, but all in all, it wasn't bad. What was hurting me the most, were my hands, but what was worrying me the most was the fact that: one I was starting to lose the feeling in my feet because of the cold and two, Jon was taking too damn long to get up.

"Snow?" I shouted and he moved getting up, slowly. "It was a knee to the groin for heavens sake." The crowd cringed and groaned. "Not a bloody sword to the heart!"

"It hurts none the less," he replied trying to get up. Jon sat on the snow and I walked to him, holding both our swords.

"Truce?" I asked, standing in front of him.

"That wasn't very honourable," he stated as he placed his hand on the snow behind him and leant back.

"I thought you were teaching me how to fight, not how to be an honourable man!" I bit back a laugh and he grinned.

"Truce."

I put my sword in its sheath and showed him my free hand. He looked at it and then back at me.

"You just kneed me in the groin. And what was that you just told me about you don't care much about honour. I don't really think I should trust you by accepting your help right now," he said not moving. "Besides, the snow is helping the pain."

"Come on you Stark bastard, I may not have much honour, but I do help my friends. When they don't have me pinned against a wall," I said, pushing down my scarf so he could see my grin.

"Right!" He grabbed my hand and I pulled him up.

"That was…great!" We turned to see Sam running towards us, hands in the air. "Well, not that last part, but other than that it was brilliant!"

"Yeah, Bos! That last part was a bit too much." Some brother said from the crowd that had gathered to watch us fight.

"What? So you'd rather I die? If this was a real fight to the death that would have probably been my last chance to escape." I saw understanding on some faces and distrust on others. "Besides, if he was thinking about having kids, he wouldn't have joined the Night's Watch."

"That is not the only use for a dick, Bos!" An older man said from the group.

"What? I don't see any women here. Besides you lot are too ugly for this pretty face!" I had actually grabbed Jon's chin and ruffled his black curls as I said that, making the brothers laugh. "Look at him! He's prettier than some of the whores I know." I looked up at him and he was trying to stop himself from laughing. "I say we could actually make some profit out of you boy!"

"I think no one would want him, with that frown carved in his face!" Sam said and Jon looked at him in surprise.

"No, no!" Jon finally said. "If I'm being whored out, it's with the frown. Call it an extra!"

We all looked at each other and burst out laughing. It was something that didn't happen often on The Wall, but at that moment we weren't all outcasts. There were no thieves, rapists, murderers or orphans. The White Walkers and the Wildlings didn't exist. We were all just a bunch of brothers having a laugh.


	9. 09 The Battle of One

Thank you to my first two reviewers! =)

Beta'ed: MrsBates93

* * *

**Present**

The Dothraki warriors arrived and Daenerys asked one of them to come and speak with her. I was present at the time she was telling him about what she wanted to do and Ser Jorah was kind enough to translate it for me. The warrior had looked at me questioningly but in the end nodded at his queen's demand.

Dany had taken me to one of the other tents and given me my satchel that I was now rummaging through. My Night's Watch clothes were there, clean and had been somewhat folded up neatly, my cloak was there as well, and in the bottom were my three swords. I took the larger of the three.

It seems like forever since I've held my sword, she seems heavier, bigger. I swing it a few times inside the tent, to get used to its weight once again.

"He's ready to practice," Dany says from the opening of the tent. "I've told him to try and go easy on you."

"Try?" I turned around and we walked out of the tent.

"When the Dothraki start a fight it's hard for them to stop until one of them is on the floor….dead…but don't worry you'll be fine."

"Alright."

The warrior is standing in the middle of a clearing, talking to some of the other warriors. When he sees us he walks to where we are. He and Dany exchange a few words and he nods and looks at me and at my sword.

"Big sword," he says looking at my Night's Watch sword.

"It's the largest one that I own." He looks at Dany and she translates what I say and replies,

"He says size doesn't matter in a fight." He says something else. "But let's see what you have."

He doesn't walk far, just enough to charge at me with his Dothraki sword held high above his head. I'm taken by surprise and he misses me by a hairs breadth. He keeps charging relentlessly and I keep ducking and side stepping him as much as I can. If he doesn't take a breath, I won't be able to make a move. I try and remember all of the thing Jon taught me, what the other members of the Night's Watch taught me, and what I learnt from my many fights. I remember The Wall taught me something very valuable if I was going to try and win this fight, patience.

I start memorizing his moves, and then notice he makes the same moves over and over again, they are probably the only ones he knows. I use the opposite moves against him. I started this fight moving away from him, now I'm moving with him. He takes a step forward; I take a step back, he jumps left I jump the exact same length to the right. When his torso moves to take a swing at me I mimic him in order to move away from the blade. I do this for a while, to try and slow him down. Now I was trying to attack him.

He pulls his blade up and I drag mine near the ground. He sees I'm about to swing it upwards and moves his sword to defend himself. I crouch and kick his leg from under him. He falls but quickly jumps up again. He comes at me again and I move out of the way twirling from my place in front of him, to stand behind him and swing at his back. He turns around in a nick of time defending himself yet again.

Since I'm standing up and he's crouching I have the upper hand, until he rolls out from under my sword and stands up, making circles around me and shouting something in Dothraki. I follow his every move, waiting for his attack.

"He is going to come closer!" I hear Dany scream. "Don't charge! Put the sword down."

I lower the blade to my side and watch as the Dothraki warrior does the same. He walks slowly towards me, and I tighten the grip on my lowered sword.

"Sword heavy" he says in his thick accent trying the common language, and then he turns to Dany and says something in Dothraki to her. I see her walk towards us.

"He says you are light on your feet, but the sword is too heavy for you."

When she says that I start to feel my sword arm start to hurt from the exertion.

"He wonders why you would make a sword so heavy for yourself, since you are so small?"

The word small made my eyebrows furrow. I wasn't small, I stood taller than Dany. I was as tall as Jon, but then I looked at the Dothraki warrior and had to look upwards to look into his eyes. So in his eyes I was smaller than him.

"I didn't make it myself. It was stolen." Dany translates and the Dothraki smiles approvingly. He says something and walks away.

"He says for us to wait here." I shrug and wait until the Dothraki comes back with two swords that look very similar to his.

He throws one of the swords at me and I catch it by the hilt. I'm surprised at how light this sword is. I swing it easily, slashing the air around me. I hear the Dothraki catch my heavier sword and I turn around, to watch him study the blade.

"Good blade," he begins in the common tongue but switches to Dothraki.

"He says it is too decorated." He points to the hilt, which is decorated with a copper eagle and some metal pieces twisted around the handle, to protect the hand that holds it. "If you could take out those pieces it would suit you better."

He throws my old sword to the ground and walks to stand a little further away from me.

"He wants you to fight with that. Good luck!" Dany says before she walks away.

I look at the warrior and we start our dance again. This time I feel lighter, I move quicker, and I attack more swiftly. It has improved my fighting style and I start to mix some of my northern moves with the Dothraki moves that I was learning.

We fight for a while, until Dany shouts for us to stop. We both have bleeding noses and slashes across both our arms, but nothing life threatening.

She says something to the Dothraki man and he nods.

"Good fight," he says and walks away.

"I must admit Nizho, when you told me your stories I thought you might be telling a lie about you fighting. But I'm glad you were telling the truth," she says honestly.

"You know me from nothing; I wouldn't expect you to believe in everything I say just because I told you so," I respond turning fully towards her.

We walk towards her tent. In the afternoon, after I have told my stories we started to pack everything for the ride through the Red Waste, we also packed the tent I was staying in, which was the place where the Dothraki tribe stored their provisions. By the state of emptiness in that tent, they weren't doing too well.

"You can stay here tonight." The Khaleesi says pointing to the furs on the floor. Her makeshift bed was already packed and ready to be placed on the horses tomorrow, so she was going to sleep on the floor.

"No, I can sleep outside."

"Nonsense! All my warriors are sleeping under a tent tonight, so you shall too."

"Thank you Khaleesi."


	10. 10 Midnight Light

Thank you to the people who read and reviewed and for those who just read. I love you anyways! Now thank again to the awesome MrsBates93 for beta'ing this story for me.

I've just finished writing the whole story and now it's just my posting, as MrsBates93 betas the remaining chapters and you peoples read! & review!

* * *

**Past**

We had heard of the white walkers from stories we had been told by our mothers or milk maids, but it was still an event when we would make up stories that would keep us up at night.

Jon would tell us the more elaborate ones, Sam would tell the most frightening and me, well I would tell them with more fervor. Now, none of the stories were true. Mine were a mixture of some nightmares I had, some other ghost stories and hear say, but we all took turns at scaring each other. Or so we thought.

"And they had come behind the warrior," Jon said, his voice no more than a whisper. "Silently, as if they were floating. A human ear could never hear them. A human eye could never set their sights on them. Their icy stare is as cold as a winter storm. And there he stood. Alone. In the dark. And then…"

"Boo!"

I shouted behind Sam. He jumped so high and so fast that he knocked my feet from under me. I laid on the icy floor laughing and so did Jon, leaning against the cold stone wall.

"You two! Why do you have to frighten me like that?" Sam asked pacing up and down The Wall.

"Oh Sam, I'm sorry," I said crawling near Jon and plopping my ass on the freezing wall.

"No you're not, it was your idea," Jon said and we burst out laughing again.

"You two are…" We stopped and looked up at Sam, who was standing up, hands on hips and a chubby finger pointing at us.

"What are we mother?" I asked and another wave of laughter hit us.

"I'm hungry."

"We're really sorry, no need to get angry Sam," Jon said actually wiping a tear from his face.

"No! I said hungry like food hungry." I snorted but Sam looked at me and I stopped.

"We could go and hunt deer. Its fine weather for it, don't you think so ladies?" I said as Sam plopped down next to me.

"Yes my lord, we should take our best stallions and find ourselves a good dinner."

Now you must understand, food on The Wall, was how I should I put this? Ahhh yes…shit. For breakfast we had oat meal, frozen, a piece of hard bread, water, and at dinner we would be granted a small cup of soup. So, one night Sam started to make up a story about how we were lords of lands far away, with plenty of food and game to hunt. Since then, whenever we were hungry and couldn't really get any food, we'd play that game.

"Call the stable boy Samwell," Jon said. "The bastard, the fat and the disfigured are going hunting."

"Hey!" I frown. "I'm Sor Disfigured."

"And I'm Lord Fat," Sam said, bowing.

"I am terribly sorry if I have offended you my lords."

"We should make a trip to the whore house as well," Sam kept the fantasy going.

I rolled my eyes and rested my head against the wall. Sam liked girls, a lot. Even though he had never been with one, he would always take the time to describe what his father had done in the whore house. And the boy off course would reminisce about what could have been.

Jon would blush which would make me laugh and sometimes I would even contribute to the conversation. Not that I had ever laid with a woman or a man for that matter but since I was a woman, I would tell them about the body of a woman. The two of them even thought I had been with a woman, which in their eyes made me their king. At least in Sam's eyes anyway. Jon would groan and fuss about the topic.

"Again with that Sam?" Jon asked.

"No, not again. Again would mean I've done it at least once which you know I haven't," Sam countered sighing.

"Oh, gods above!" I exclaimed under my breath.

This conversation was nothing new to me. Sam would start it without warning. It didn't make me uncomfortable. At first I would cower inside my cloak and hope to disappear before the conversation got any further. But now after a few surprises it would just make me roll my eyes and shrug it off. I was more embarrassed after I would hear Jon say anything about the matter. I was only human and the boy was attractive.

"Sam will you just stop," Jon said as he grabbed a piece of wood to stoke the flames with. "I think we understand the urgency of your problem."

I stifled a laugh and Sam groaned.

The three of us had the night shift, watching the other side of The Wall. According to the Lord instructor, 'we girls needed to stay together'. With me being a girl I didn't particularly like the tone of the joke, but, he was higher on the food chain so I just shrugged it off.

The night was dark and cold, like any other night on The Wall. The fire and our clothes were the only things keeping us warm. That and body heat. We were so close to each other that we might as well sit on each other's laps.

My face was the coldest part of my body. The mask didn't let any heat go through, and I started to ponder taking it off.

"Why?" Sam suddenly asked. "Since I can't have it, I can at least talk about it. It works with food."

"Oh! Come on! You can't go and compare sex to food." Jon shook his head.

"Actually it is a good comparison," I ended his sentence, but hid myself even more under the cloak, which Jon mistook for coldness and moved closer to me. Which, in light of the current conversation didn't help.

I had had these feelings for a while. Not love, like let's run away and live happily ever after. But just throw the boy to ground and do what I could with him. It had been harder and harder to practice with him, especially when he would pin me to the ground.

"See, Bos agrees!" Sam said smiling. He had a big scarf wrapped around his head, as you would if you had a tooth ache.

"Yes, Bos. Please encourage him!" Jon said rubbing his gloved hands together.

"Next outing I swear to the gods we are going to a whore house. I don't care how, why or when, but I'll pay for the three of us to get some kind of action!" I take a deep breath and look at Sam, staring nervously at me. "Smile Sam. It's supposed to make you smile."

"What would I do?" My chubby friend asked, making Jon and me look at him simultaneously.

"There'll be a hole," I started and Sam's eyes widened.

"Bos!" Jon warned behind me and I turned to face him.

"What? There will be a hole." They were looking at me like I had grown a third head. "It's sex! There are holes in sex. You came out of a hole."

"Gross! Please stop," Sam almost pleaded, looking disgusted.

"It's actually the same hole."

"Enough Bos!" Jon actually shouted and I smiled.

"I take it we won't be talking about this topic anytime soon?" Sam nodded and Jon groaned.

"How do you know so much about…that area?" Sam always curious, asked.

"My sister," I shrugged. It's true this time, I did have a sister, and she was an herbalist, there were books around the house telling how humans were born and created. I helped my sister sometimes; I've seen my share of naked women.

"I didn't know you had a sister." Sam said tentatively. Up until this point, I never talked about my family, my past. If anyone asked, my answer would be short.

"Yes."

"Just one?" Sam asked and I took a deep breath.

"Jon, lend me your scarf."

Jon had this long black scarf, that he usually wore with another one and I sometimes asked him to let me borrow it, since it would cover my face almost entirely.

He undid it and gave it to me. There was silence as I undid the mask under the cloak's hood and wrapped the scarf as best I could. I had mastered this technique long ago. When I finally undid the clasps of the mask and felt the heat on my face I exhaled what seemed to be the longest breath.

"My father is a widower. My mother was a whore. From what dad told me, she left me on his doorstep. He was a cattle breeder, and my sister was an herbalist. We had books on things: plants, the human body, etc. When my sister married, my father wanted me to marry someone I really didn't want to. And after the fire I wasn't going to get any willingly woman, so I went and joined the Night's Watch."

The lie I wrote down when I first came to The Wall fell through. I couldn't tell my friends an even bigger lie.

My future husband was known to kill the wives that didn't bare him male heirs. My sister's womb had only given her girls, so my future hadn't been very bright at the time.

"So you're a bastard like Jon?" Sam asked, seeming satisfied with my story.

"Gods, no!" I exaggerated the disgusted tone. "The lady of the house was already gone when my father did the deed. He had been free to do as he pleased."

"A son of a whore then?" Sam countered.

"Yes!" I shouted triumphantly.

"Oh, so being a bastard is 'Gods, no!' but 'son of a whore' is yes with happiness," Jon joked.

"No one wants to be a bastard, Snow," I said smiling under the scarf.

"True," Sam said nodding.

"I'll remember that at practice," Jon and Sam groaned.

"Don't worry my chubby friend; soon we'll surpass the master," I told him, patting his knee.

"Doubt that." They both said at the same time.


	11. 11 Hummingbirds

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Present**

"So your father wanted you to marry someone who killed their wives?" Dany asked trying to make sense of the logic of what I had told her. "Was he a bad person your father? Like my brother?"

She had told me about her misadventures on Dothraki soil. She said it was only fair that I knew about her past since she knew about mine.

"Well, no not exactly. He was just worried. He foretold that he would die soon, and he wanted me to have some kind of future. My sister was already married to a fine husband and I wasn't. He did what any father would do, he found me a husband."

We were walking on the sand. I was already used to walking on snow; there wasn't much of a difference. Well, there is a difference, the heat. The sun is high as it always is in the Red Waste. I had been very dizzy at the beginning of our walk through the Red Waste, but now it was just discomfort. My skin was becoming a pretty shade of gold.

"The problem was, he had a temper. He would kill any wife that didn't bear him male heirs," I tell Dany and she frowns.

"Why did you flee though? There might still have been a possibility that you could have given him a son," Dany said.

"My sister had six children. Five girls. One still born, it was a boy." Dany nodded. "Odds weren't in my favour."

"But how do you know about this?" Ser Jorah walks beside us.

"A chamber maid told me."

"Why?"

"She told me,she supposedly used to tell every woman. But they were too blinded by gold and land to hear her," I sigh. "Each night I was in that castle, she would tell me the horror stories. I didn't believe her at first and then I saw him beat a stable boy almost to death because the mane of his horse wasn't braided the way he liked it."

"Were you the only one who ran?" Ser Jorah asked.

"No, the maid told me more had tried to run before they were to be married. But he was an expert huntsman. They would run but he would seek them out and bring them back."

"But he didn't catch you," Dany says this time. "Why?"

"Well, none of others ever thought to hide in the Night's Watch." I smile and look at Dany, who follows suit.

"Clever girl," Ser Jorah says.

"I've been told that many times."

We walk and walk and keep walking. The sun beats down on us, I take my horse and sit on it as the men and women pass by me. I take some of the provisions they carry in their hands and place them on my horse's back. She doesn't complain and I pet her. This was my second pet, if you could call it that.

The horses at Castle Black weren't yours, they were The Wall's. But this one was mine, even though I hadn't given her a name. Dany had told me that something isn't truly yours until you name it and then pronounce its name. Her own horse didn't have an official name, but I had heard her call it Silver.

So, in her eyes, the horse wasn't mine until I named her. Nothing seemed right though. I tried to call it Snow, Jon, Wall, Sam, Ice, Crow, but nothing really rolled out as it should have.

"Nizho!" I hear Dany shout from the front of the people and I kick the horse to a gallop. "This isn't snow you know. Be careful when you ride." She points behind me and a cloud of sand and dust had formed.

"Sorry, I'm used to other terrain." I pet the horse and look at the red sand and then back to Dany.

"Ahesh," Dany says and I nod.

"Yes snow."

"But this is qeshah. It is different."

"Qeshah?"

"Sand."

"Virzeth qeshah."

My horse stamps her hooves on the sand every time Dany says the Dothraki term for it.

"I've got it. Qeshah." She stamps again and I look at Dany grinning. "I think she just named herself."

Dany smiles and nods at me.

"They do that sometimes. Well, she's officially yours. What were you doing back there?" She asks as we ride slowly, next to the people.

"Making sure no one died. I think of the members of the Night's Watch here in this heat, and I can just see them falling down."

"You're doing fine," she says taking a bag from one of the women and placing it on her horse.

"Gods no I'm dying under this heat. I thought I hated the cold, I'm learning that I hate the heat more."

"Well, get used to it Nizho. It's not going to get any better."

"Why are you taking us through the Red Waste?" I ask her and I get down from Qeshah.

"I'm following the Red Comet." She points to the sky and sure enough there's a small ball of red dust floating up there.

"How do you know where it leads?"

"I don't, but it appeared when Drogo died, a few days before you got here. It seemed like a good thing to follow."

"And what about now?" I ask once more.

"It still does," she says it more to herself than to me but looks at me for confirmation.

"Everyone here would follow you to the end of Westeros." I tell her placing a hand on her shoulder. "Unless there's a sea in between, then we're doomed."

Dany laughs at the joke and nods. Dothraki are known for not crossing any water their horses wouldn't drink, which made them prisoners of this place.

Which makes me think of how I got here. I must have travelled somehow to this side of the sea. But I don't remember how. I can't remember anything past the point of the attack. I could have walked, rode and swam here. Although the state I was in, or so I was told I was, didn't make room for many trips.

"You must let me braid your hair once we stop," Dany says, breaking me from my reverie.

"What?"

"Dothraki people are known for their braids," Ser Jorah says walking next to us once more.

"My hair is too short for braiding Khaleesi."

"Nonsense, your hair is past your shoulders and it would look good in braids. Besides, I think you might be the only one I would get to braid. My maids are frightened I would kill them if my braids look bad."

"You braid that bad?" I ask.

"I don't know, I've never braided anyone before." I look at her, my eyes wide.

"I'm not so sure about this."

"Come on, a fearless sworn member of the Night's Watch is scared of a little girl braiding her hair." Ser Jorah jokes.

"I don't see you volunteering," I tell him and he smiles.

"Oh come on Nizho. One braid." She seems way too excited about one braid that I nod. "Maybe two."

"Dany!" I warn her.

"What? You're a Dothraki warrior with the horse, blade, and clothes. You're just missing the braid."

"Ser Jorah has none." I point to the tall man.

"Ser Jorah isn't a warrior. He's an adviser."

"And according to Dothraki tradition, he sucks at it. Size of the braid and all." I grumble again.

"I still don't understand your frustration about having a braid."

"It's just so feminine," I say quickly.

"I don't know if you have noticed Nizho but, you are a girl." I roll my eyes. "And men wear braids here too." I point to Ser Jorah's fleeting blonde hair. She raises one eyebrow and then smiles. "As your Khaleesi, I order you to have a braid made by me in your hair."

I open my mouth to protest. Is she my Khaleesi? She made me a warrior in her tribe. She gave me a horse and a sword. She gave me shelter and didn't kill me. She saved my life. She was my Khaleesi.

And I was getting a braid.


	12. 12 Out There

Beta'ed by the wonderful MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

The day had started out cold, as usual, but the temperature dropped with each passing hour. By midday it was unbearable to even walk outside. But the instructor, as always, decided it was the best time to take some of the men out to the woods to hunt. I wasn't sure what he wanted us to hunt, since it was too cold to even think about walking in the woods.

He picked six men, me, Jon and Sam included. He wanted to toughen us up or so he said. To me he was trying to see which of us would lose a limb first to the cold.

The six of us dressed with every single piece of clothing we could find. Between, armour and under clothing I had four layers of clothing, plus the furry cloak.

Each of us grabbed a horse and away we went. We rode in silence. Everything surrounding us was white. Only the tree stumps would contrast with the snow. We followed the lord and I noticed another creature following us.

Ghost, Jon's dire wolf. I had met the wolf one morning, when he had joined one of our sword practices. He had lain down next to a tree, and if it hadn't been for his bright red eyes, no one would have known he was there. Like Jon, the wolf was silent. Always watching, taking in everything that surrounded him and his master. He never growled at me or Sam, and even let us pet him sometimes.

The black cloaks wandered for a while until the lord stopped us and decided to split us up. Me and Jon ended up together while Sam ended up with one of the other guys we didn't know much about. Neither of us were happy about these arrangements but we couldn't complain either. It was an order, not a request.

We rode in different directions. Me and Jon went south. We galloped for a while, but we weren't getting anywhere as far as hunting was concerned since, aside from the cold, the hooves of the horses were too noisy. We secured our horses to one of the trees and walked silently around the forest.

After a few hours, and kilometres, of our cold expedition I had to make a strategic stop. The metal mask against my skin was hurting me, and I could barely breathe with it.

"Are you alright?" Jon asked when he saw me stopping.

I removed my mask and knocked its clasps around my leather belt.

"The mask, I couldn't breathe." I explained wrapping the scarf around my face tighter.

"Can you breathe now?" I nodded and we carried on walking.

While we walked I started to feel bored. No animal would come out in this cold. Only us, because of the stupid lord-shit. I walked behind Jon and tried to step in his footsteps. That was until I ran into something big and black, and fell on my ass with a humph.

"Are you okay?" Jon asked. He was the black mass I had encountered.

"I guess. Why are we stopping?"

"I can't find Ghost." He looked around, wind blowing his black curls all over the place.

I look around as well. Let's just say trying to find a white wolf, in the middle of the snow wasn't an easy task. But Jon found him soon after and ran to him.

The dire wolf was sitting near a tree looking at it's roots. We knelt near him and Jon questioned the wolf as too why he had stopped. As if he understood his master, Ghost placed his nose on the snow and shuffled it to the sides.

Buried under the snow was a black eagle's chick. Dead, by the looks of it. These raptors were common in the North. Ravens and Black Eagles tore the sky of the cold lands. This one looked like he had wanted to leave the nest too soon, and fell to his death in the snow.

From the corner of my eye I saw Snow get up and start to walk away, but neither me nor Ghost followed him.

"Come on, the two of you. It's starting to get dark, we still haven't caught anything and the eaglet isn't big enough for soup," Jon shouted a few meter away, but we didn't budge.

Ghost was the first to move. I thought he was going to eat the bird but he nudged it with his wet nose. The chick didn't move, and Ghost moved his head to the side as if questioning something. I decided to touch the bird myself. Leaning forward I poked his belly, as the bird seemed to be frozen with his back to the snow. As I touched it's feathery torso it squeaked faintly. I looked at the wolf in surprise and then back to the bird.

"Ghost! Come!" Jon's order was met with no reaction.

I crawled near the chick and grabbed it gently. He chirped as I caught him, but didn't try to fly or move. I had the bird in my hands and both me and Ghost were staring at it. I tried to understand in what state the bird was in. He kept chirping and I saw that his wing was broken.

"Either leave it or take it with you. We can't stand here anymore. We'll freeze to death," Jon said. He was kneeling next to us.

I grabbed a piece of fur from the bottom of my cloak and ripped it. With a piece of leather string I made a small pouch and secured it around my black clothing, under the mask.

"We need to get back," Jon said and I nodded.

"It's getting dark, and it'll only get colder as the night falls."

We walked to our horses and rode to The Wall in silence. The bird would squeak every so often and we arrived at The Wall after a couple of hours.

It didn't surprise anyone when we found out that nobody had captured anything. And the dinner was filled with threats to the instructor. We found Sam alive and cold, but with his spirits still high.

"So, how did you two do?" He asked and we both shrugged.

I had bought the eaglet with me and was now undoing the pouch in front of both men.

"We found this," I said, as the feathery bundle came into view.

"It's a Black Eagle." I nodded.

"It's wing is broken. I don't know how to fix it."

Jon examined the eaglet's wing and it chirped. He took off his glove and touched the wing again, taking it between his fingers and squeezing gently.

"Don't kill it!" Sam warned and we both stared at him.

"Shush Sam…" Was Jon's response.

He squeezed a little harder and the bird fluttered his good wing and chirped loudly. Jon sighed and let go of the bird.

"Done," he said putting his glove back on again.

"What did you do?" I asked and the bird curled up into a feathery ball.

"His wing was dislocated. It's not anymore, I put it back in the right place correctly," the bastard explained, grabbing a piece of bread, embedding it in soup and giving it to me. "Feed him."

"How?"

"Oh…Oh…I know!" Sam's happy voice chipped in. "You have to open its beak and squeeze a small piece of food down it's throat! That's what mother eagles do."

"He read it in a book," Jon answered as I opened my mouth to question him.

It took me five tries to get his tiny beak to open. It took me even longer to make the bird eat the wet bread. It looked like I was going to choke him, but when he didn't protest or move away from what I was doing I kept giving him food.

"Did you know that eagles are the fastest growing birds of prey?" Sam said when I stopped feeding the eaglet. I placed it in the fur of my cloak and he nestled there.

"You think I can keep it?" I asked looking at the eaglet.

"I think they can let you keep an eagle. It's the human younglings they don't like," Jon said smiling a little.


	13. 13 Let it Go

Thank to who had R&R, it's really great to read your reviews! Thank you!

Beta'ed by the wonderful MrsBates93

**Present**

'Did you keep the bird?" Dany asks, sitting behind me.

She's finishing the braidings. I had started to tell the story as she began the braiding. Her hands are in my hair pushing and pulling, twirling it around itself.

I'm already half asleep when she finishes. I've never had someone brush my hair before but it has a soothing effect on me. The queen finishes her work with a joyful sound.

"Done!" She exclaims, standing up. "I like it. For my first time, it's not bad."

She runs to her horse and starts searching for something in her several bags and pouches. I take the opportunity to feel the work she has done on my hair.

It feels intricate, like the weaving of a basket. Strands criss-crossing around my hair. It ends in a ponytail pulled together with some leather string. The strings are also intertwined in the braids; I can feel the different textures.

I shake my head a bit quickly and stop suddenly. I place my hands on my head again and feel it still secure around the braids. The weaving was strong, it won't budge easily.

"Braided by the Khaleesi herself," I hear Ser Jorah's voice boom next to me.

"Jealous?" I ask smiling.

"I don't think I have a hairline strong enough to hold anything that intricate," he responds with a grin.

Dany arrives holding something in her hand. It's a small metallic object and she gives it to me. It's a mirror.

This will be the first time I'll have seen myself in a mirror for a long time. The last time I had seen my reflection I was placing a dagger in my hair and cutting it off.

I start to see the reflection of my hair. It was complex as I had imagined. Not only are there leather strings in it but small iron rings on some strands.

"Are you sure this is your first time?" I ask and she nods.

"Only on baskets." (I'm not sure about this line.)

"Very good."

I place the mirror in front of my face and start to examine my features.

I knew I wasn't the epitome of beauty. My sister was usually the one being complimented at the market. I wasn't drop dead ugly either, but when you're surrounded by someone more beautiful than you, you become average. And I've always liked to be average. If I had been too pretty I wouldn't have stood a chance at The Wall, but if I had been too ugly, well, no one likes being ugly.

I start by looking at my neck, nothing new there. A scar that looked like someone had taken a torch to my skin was there, but I already knew that. It extended itself from my right upper arm to my shoulder blade.

My jaw was strong and square, my lips were plump. A new scar had been added to my top lip. It ran from under my nostril to the middle of my upper lip. I could see the mark and I could feel the bump as I touched it with my tongue.

My nose is, as everything else average; an old bump from breaking my nose was there but no new scars or markings had been added.

My cheeks are rosy from the heat and there's also two new markings on the top of my cheek, they look like scratch marks.

I bypass my eyes as I want them to be the last thing I see. I want to have every bump and bruise engraved into my mind before I look at my whole face.

On my forehead there's another scar, which runs from my hairline to my eyebrow, where it left a hairless trail.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Here comes the whole picture. I open them and yelp as I look at the image in the mirror. I drop the metallic object on the sand and Dany looks at me.

"What is wrong?" She asks grabbing the mirror from the sand.

"My eyes…" I say, my voice trembling. What has happened to me?

"What is wrong with them?" She looks straight into my eyes, places a hand on my chin, and moves my face from side to side. "They don't look weird to me. Clear and blue. Just like Ser Jorah's."

I look up at the exiled knight and frown. That cannot be right. I mean the description was right. My eyes are blue. Clear, cold, icy blue. Bright and unfamiliar.

"I was born with hazel eyes Khaleesi," I state getting up from where I was sitting and start to pace.

"That's impossible Nizho. No one changes their eye colour," she says, following my steps with her gaze." Maybe you just thought they were hazel but they were always blue."

"My father had hazel eyes. My sister had hazel eyes. I had hazel eyes. It's a family trait."

"That can't be possible," she says again. "Maybe you forgot they were blue."

"Daenerys." I stop and look at her angrily. "My eyes have been hazel since I was born! The people in the village always told me and my sister we were our father's daughters because our eyes matched. These are not my eyes!"

I scream the last part and she frowns. Confusion and hurt pass across her face and I immediately regret screaming at the girl.

"I'm sorry Dany. Whatever this is, I'm sure you are not to blame." She nods and looks down.

"But there must be an explanation for it," Dany says looking at Ser Jorah and I let my eyes fall to the older man as well, in the hope that he has some kind of explanation for this.

He's looking at me, frowning. We could both see his mind working. He would shake his head sometimes and look away. Finally he took a deep breath.

"Where were you attacked?" He asks.

"North of The Wall."

"By whom?"

I swallow a lump in my throat. I know what he's implying, and I don't like it. It can't be possible; I wouldn't be entirely human. I wouldn't have been able to speak, or act civilized. I'd be a pawn; my only objective would be to kill everything that moved. Abide someone else's orders. I wouldn't be in control of my own mind; my wounds wouldn't have healed.

"Annora!" Ser Jorah shouts and I look up at him. "You were attacked North of The Wall, by whom? Wildlings?"

I shake my head and fight back the tears that threaten to spill over.

"It's not possible," I whisper still looking at him.

"Answer the question Annora! Who attacked you?"

"White Walkers."


	14. 14 Skin to the Bone

I like my cliff-hangers...and reviewers... ;) Thanks you for reading and double thank you for reviewing!

Beta'ed by: MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

The day of the oath was hectic, everyone ran around doing on thing or another. Soon the Lord Commander would call the new Night Watch's recruits and he would tell them where they'd be standing. Each of us would stand in one of three positions: Stewards were responsible for an assortment of critical functions, providing vital day-to-day services. They would: hunt and farm, tend to the horses, gather firewood, cook meals, make clothing, maintain weapons, and conduct trade with the south, bringing all of the supplies that were needed for the Night's Watch back to the Wall. Rangers were the main fighting force, adept at surviving in the wilderness and tasked with scouting and patrolling the Haunted Forest beyond the Wall. Builders were responsible for maintaining the Wall, the castles, and equipment. They provided the blacksmiths, carpenters, miners, and woodsmen.

Me and Jon wished to be Rangers; raiding, fighting enemies, spending nights in the wild. Sam wanted to be a builder. We would talk about what we'd do once we'd go to our new positions. Sam would tell us he'd make us the best swords, the best cloaks and the best food. I would tell him that we'd bring the best furs and the best stories back to the Wall. Jon was in one of his moods.

We were sitting down on the steps near the elevator. War, my black eagle had grown up and was flying around us in circles, taking food from our hands when we weren't looking. We were telling each other stories and jokes when Lord Commander shouted for the recruits to form up. He stood in front of the elevator, behind him stood some of the higher Lords from Castle Black. The lengthy benches from the mess hall had been placed in front of the elevator plank and that's where we would sit for the ceremony.

The Lord Commander made a speech, about how we were now in one house together. Truthfully none of us were listening. Jon's uncle was missing, and, surprise surprise, he was frowning.

"We're allowed to look happy," Sam said nudging my shoulder each nudge made me knock Jon's shoulder.

"Imagine the feast after this Jon," I said smiling.

That day I had braided my hair and did the best I could to push it into a ponytail, placed the mask on my face so I would have protection from any mishaps and even wore one of the new cloaks that I had made thanks to Sam's lessons.

"Finally we're going to be what we wanted to be all along. Jon you're going to be a ranger!" Sam exclaimed. "Isn't that what you always wanted?"

"I want to find my uncle," Jon said, making the grins on our faces vanish.

"Benjen is an experienced ranger Jon. Maybe he sent the horse to let us now he's alright," I said.

"I know he's alive out there." Sam added to my pep talk. "I know he is. I wish I could help you but I'm no ranger. It's the steward's life for me. Besides, Bos here will be there in my place. You two might as well be stitched at the hip your never apart from each other. Between the two of you I don't think the wildlings have a chance."

Jon and I looked at each other. I was grinning, glad that the mask I had chosen today had no mouth cover, it only covered my eyes and Jon gave me a half grin, rolling his eyes at our poor attempt at cheering him up.

"We'll be unstoppable. Let them come, right Lord Snow," I told the dark haired man, receiving his well-known eye roll.

"You all learned the words, your vow. Think carefully before you say them, and know that the penalty for desertion is death. You can take your vows here tonight at sunset. Do any of you still keep to the Old Gods?"

Me and Jon stood up together. My father had been an advocate for the Old Gods, and it was more for him that I stood up.

"I do, my lord," Jon said.

"I do also."

"Do you want to take your vows before the heart tree?" Lord Commander asked us.

"Yes, my lord," we said simultaneously.

"You'll find the Weirwoods, a mile north of the Wall and you're Old Gods too, maybe."

"My Lord?" Sam got up from his seat and we both looked at him. "Might I go as well?"

"Does House Tarly keep to the Old Gods?"

"No, my lord…" Sam started to explain. "I was named in the light of the Seven, as my father was and his father before him."

"Why would you forsake, the Gods of your father and your house?" The Lord inquired.

"The Night's Watch is my house now." I smiled as my friend made his speech. He was growing up to be a good man. "The Seven have never answered my prayers perhaps the Old Gods will."

"As you wish."

We sat down again and waited for our names to be called out for the orders.

"Samwell, the stewards." He smiled and I patted him on the shoulder.

"Ora, to the rangers." My friends did the same to me, patting me and congratulating me. I was a Night's Watch Ranger.

"Jon Snow, to the stewards."

I don't know what happened, but the world seemed to stop when those words came out of the Lord Commander's mouth.

Jon's hand tightened and his jaw set so hard, I thought it would shatter. I could hear Sam gasp. Jon was about to stand up and do something he'd regret.

"Be the bigger man Snow," I whispered and he sat down again. Fuming.

Ser Alliser was smiling victorious. I'm not sure how deeply involved he was in this decision but until today I couldn't help but think he had given Jon the smaller straw knowing where it would place him.

The list ended and all of us had to go meet our superiors. I didn't budge from my seat, and neither did my friends. Shock, indignation and fear wouldn't let us move. Shock from Sam, indignation from Jon and fear from me. Somehow all those adventures and ranger duties didn't seem so funny, now that I would have to go without Jon.

"Ora! I called you."

I jumped up automatically at the tone of his voice but looked at Jon before I walked to join the circle of rangers.

The Lord in charge of the Rangers was giving us some orders, but I only paid attention to half of mine. For the first time, our ranger's duties wouldn't be too hard. We would ride up and down the forest, near the Wall, north and south of it. But never very far.

The commotion from the stewards meeting made the rest of us fall silent. As Jon marched his way to the one of the corners I looked at my superior wordlessly asking for permission to go to my friend. I would never be as thankful to anyone as I was to that man, when he nodded to me. I ran the small distance between me and my friends.

"What in the Old Gods names happened?" I asked but shut up when Jon looked at me. If looks could kill, my head would have fallen off my shoulders at that moment.

"Why are you in the Rangers?" He side stepped Sam and walked dangerously fast, towards me. "Why? What do you have that I don't?"

"I…" He was in my face right now, Sam held onto his arm the best he could.

"I taught you! I'm better than you! I'm the best here!" I swallowed, but didn't argue. "I'm a better swordsman and rider than any of you! It's not fair!"

"Fair?" One of the brothers who was standing near the entrance of the smaller tunnel said. "I was singing for a high lord at Acorn Hall, when he put his hand on my leg wanting to see my cock. I pushed him away and he said he'd have my hand cut off for stealing when he was finished with me. So now here I am at the end of the world, with no one to sing for, apart from old men and whiney little shits like you. I'll never see my family again. I'll never be inside a woman again. Don't tell me about fair."

"I thought you were here for stealing…" I trailed off when Jon snarled at me.

"Yes," Sam continued. "I thought you were caught stealing a wheel of cheese for your starving sister."

"Course who's gonna tell a bunch of strangers a high lord tried to grab my cock?"

I smiled knowingly, and by instinct I looked at Jon's face to see if he was smiling too. No such luck.

"Would you sing me a song Pyp? I'd like to hear a song," Sam said, trying to make the boy leave, by embarrassing him. It worked since the boy walked away muttering under his breath.

Once again Jon had turned his angry gaze on me and as I was about to argue with him Sam turned to us and cleared his throat.

"Now listen to me," Sam started. "The old man, is the Lord Commander of The Night's Watch. You will be with him, day and night, yes you will clean his clothes. You will also, take his letters, attend with him at meetings, squire for him in battle. You'll know everything, be part of everything. And he asked for you himself. He wants to groom you for command."

The anger in Jon's eyes turned into half understanding, half disappointment. I was trying to stand as quiet as a mouse but still nodded as Sam ended his speech.

"I just..." Jon said. "I always wanted to be a ranger."

"I always wanted to be a wizard," Sam said and we both looked at him and then at each other.

"Fisherman for me. Feel the breeze on my face. That would be the life."

"What?" He asked. "No, I'm serious!" It only made us laugh harder.

The higher lords called us and we followed them out. It was my first time north of the Wall. The three of us and some of our superiors walked out with us. Ghost and War went running and flying to the forest, but we took no heed, they were our animals, they would come back.

We knelt near the tree and said our vows, solemnly and proudly. Once we got up from our kneeling stance we looked at each other and hugged like little children. We separated and gave the other men surrounding us brotherly hugs. We were now one house. One family.

The moment was broken when War cried from above and I put my arm up so he could land safely. Right behind him, but on the ground padded Ghost, with something in his mouth.

"To me Ghost," Jon said kneeling on the ground.

Ghost dropped a human hand onto the snow, and we all stood silently looking at it.


	15. 15 The Void

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

**Past**

Jon asked Ghost to lead us to where he had found the hand. He led us to two of the brothers, dead not far from where we were. We took them inside the Wall, where it was decided to let Maester Aemon examine them before we burned them. Better to be safe than sorry.

When Jon came back from his meeting with the Lord Commander I had just returned from a search party that had been to search the edge of the forest for any bodies from Benjen's party. Finding none we had come back.

He looked even more at war with himself than usual. I fastened my horse to the post as fast as I could and ran to him.

"Hey Snow!" I shouted as loud as I could to get his attention. "We didn't find Benjen." He snarled at this. "It's good news, it means he could still be alive."

"I have dinner to make," he said and walked into the kitchen. I followed him and nodded at everyone inside.

"How was ranger duty Bos?" Sam asked excitedly as I leaned against the wall.

"Four hours of looking for dead bodies of your fellow brothers, isn't very exciting," I told him and heard Jon growl.

"Now there's a rare sight," Ser Alliser said as he walked through the kitchen and I stood stock still. He stood in front of me but didn't turn towards me. He was looking at Jon. "Not only a bastard, but a traitor's bastard."

Jon looked at the man, while I glanced at Sam and Sam looked at me. I swallowed and grabbed Jon as fast as I could but not fast enough it seemed. He had already lunged at Ser Alliser.

"Jon no!" Sam shouted as I placed all my weight into my left shoulder, the only thing that was stopping Jon.

"Blood will always tell. You'll hang for this, bastard," Ser Alliser said before he turned and left, but Jon kept trying to run after him.

Only when the Lord Commander walked in did Jon stop struggling.

"I told you not to do anything stupid. You're confined to your quarters. Go!" He bellowed to Jon, and then he turned to me. "I trust your loyalty to him is enough to keep watch, and not let him do anything else like this, Ranger."

I nodded and ran after Jon. As I reached him and hit him in the back of his head, he growled at me like a dog and I hit him again.

"What were you thinking?" I asked him.

"He was insulting my father," Jon said as we walked to his quarters.

"So? Be the bigger man." He looked at me with his deadly gaze and I hit him again.

"Stop hitting me."

"No. I'll hit the stupidity out of you, Jon!" I shouted and hit him again. I knew I was only making him angrier, but honestly I didn't care. He could be hanged for this. He had attacked a superior.

"Why are you following me anyway?" He asked as we reached his quarters. "Don't you have ranger duties to perform?"

"Jealousy really doesn't suit you," I replied as we walked inside his quarters. "Lord Commander told me to watch you."

Ghost walked to me and I knelt down scratching between his ears. The dog was nice once he knew you wouldn't try to kill his master.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"I don't think you need one either. But orders are orders." I walked to the window of his room and sat down on the floor under the sill. I heard my eagle scream outside and then I saw him fly inside the room, landing on my outstretched arm.

Ghost looked at the eagle but, as usual, didn't mind it. I never saw them fight, and sometimes they would ran and fly together into the forest. I even remember one time when they went hunting together.

Jon sat on his cot and turned to me an angry look on his face. I kept my disapproving glare on him and he sighed, his gaze softly turning to sadness instead of anger.

"What happened?" I asked softly.

"Lord Commander received a raven. King Robert has died and my father is being accused of treason," he told me quietly.

"Who's king now?" I asked, not sure how many children the King had.

"Joffrey."

"I'm sorry Jon," I said. "I'm really sorry."

I could see his chin starting to tremble, and saw him swallow back tears.

"He's going to die, you know?"

"No he's not. If he's being accused, then a trial must happen for this mess will to be resolved."

"My sisters are in King's Landing. Without father there, they'll be lost."

I couldn't say anything to that. He had told me a bit about his family. He adored his brothers and sisters. I knew them all by name now: Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, and Rickon. It was torture for me to see him like this. The woman in me wanted to run to him, sit next to him and hug the sadness out of him. Kiss him until he'd forget about this. But as the man I was pretending to be, I had to sit quietly under the window sill as my close friend cried softly.

The silence in the room was disrupted by Ghost barking and charging at the door. War screamed and we both looked at each other.

"Ghost what's wrong?" Jon asked getting up and walking to the wolf. "Is something out there?"

The wolf charged at the door again and we looked at each other once more.

"There's something wrong," I said and he nodded.

We walked out of the room, and Ghost ran past us towards the Lord Commander's door. As we opened the door an eerie silence flooded the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I shivered.

"Commander?" Jon shouted as we walked further into the room.

I took one of my smaller swords out of the sheath on my back and looked around the pitch black room.

"Lord Commander!" I shouted.

We both jumped as the door shut behind us. In front of us stood a wight, the foot soldiers of White Walkers. Undead. One of the brother's corpses that we had found was reanimated. He charged at us and pushed me out of the way, going for Jon's neck. I hit my head but got up quickly.

I stabbed the corpse in the back and he let go of Jon long enough to swipe his hand out and knock me down again. Before I could get up Jon was already charging at him, slashing at one of his arms. Something he didn't seem to enjoy. As I got up to grab my sword again, the wight had his hand around Jon's throat and his sword against his torso.

I had gotten up and was at the door of the Lord Commander's study punching my fist into the wood. He opened the door just as the wight was getting up. He had a little lamp in his hand; I grabbed it and threw it at the undead brother. He lit up like a beacon and the three of us ran inside the Lord Commander's quarters.

We all stood looking at each other silently. My hand was throbbing from the pain of the burn from the lamp, but I kept my cries to a minimum. Jon and the Commander were looking at me confused, angry, and disappointed. Suddenly I felt very light on my feet. My cheeks were burning from the exertion of the fight, whereas they shouldn't have been if I had my mask on.

I took a hand to my face and felt nothing there, the mask had fallen. The masquerade was over. I had been discovered for who I truly was. A woman.


	16. 16 Castle of Glass

I really hope you enjoy this.

Thank to all who've reviewed and to all who read. Also thank you to my beta MrsBates93!

* * *

**Past**

"You're a girl!" The Lord Commander exclaimed with mixed emotions as I looked at Jon and then at him.

"I…" I trailed off and looked at my feet but felt rough fingers on my chin, making me look up.

"How did this…What are you doing here? Jon!" Lord Commander looked at Jon and he shook his head. "Bos?" I nodded tears already running down my face.

"I'm sorry." I was almost certain the older man was going to slap me across the face, but he turned around and walked to the cold fireplace. "I never…"

"The Night's Watch is no place for a woman!" Lord Mormont shouted and I jumped. "As much as I wish it could be different, the Night's Watch is less of an honourable place. We have thieves, murderers, and rapists. We cannot protect a woman! We have bigger issues at hand. A woman's place is at home, with her husband, taking care of the children! Not fighting at The Wall. Not taking a sword in her hand. What would your father say, girl?"

I looked down at my feet, swallowing my sobs as Jon had earlier. I was ashamed. I had played this out in my head a millions times, what I would say to the Commander, how I would be brave. Now I could only feel shame.

"You will pack everything you have and leave. This instant! And be happy that I don't condemn you for treason!"

I looked up at him. If I left now I'd be a deserter. Man or woman, I had taken my vows. Desertion meant death. I shook my head at him.

"No," I told him softly and he turned to look at me.

"What did you just say?"

I looked up at the older man. I respected him. Lord Mormont was a fair commander. He had never treated me or any other recruit badly. He had always demanded respect by treating us with such. But seeing such animosity in his eyes made me look down. But I didn't keep quiet.

"I'm…I'm a sworn member of the Night's Watch. If I leave Castle Black, I'll be a deserter. Desertion in punishable by death." I looked up at him then.

"You're a woman. That alone is enough for treason."

"Why does it even matter?" I kept my voice low and quiet, my true voice. For the first time since I'd stepped inside these walls, I was using my own voice to speak up. Thinking about this gave me enough courage to keep going. "I've trained. I've cooked. I've cleaned. Never have you heard me complain. Have you?"

"You're a woman! We don't accept women in the Night's Watch!" He yelled at me, but I stood my ground.

"I have never complained. I have never whined about the coldness of the place, the food, or the orders. Every time I was ordered to keep watch all night on top of the Wall, I stood there! Never did you find me asleep. Never! When the recruits would be sent outside the Castle to hunt or to spend a useless night under the cold sky, I was the last person that you would hear whine and cry about the cold. You have Lord's in here that act more like women than I do."

"You are a wo—" He started to yell but I actually, yelled louder than him.

"I am a sworn member of the Night's Watch! I will die at my post! I won't leave my oath over a stupid question of gender! I am a Night's Watchman! I am better than half of the rangers you have! I whine less than most of the rangers you have! I'm more of a Night's Watchman than all the other rangers are! You will keep me here!"

"Where is your honour?" Lord Mormont asked. "What did your father teach you about honour? Have you none that you would dishonour someone so easily?"

"Honour?" I asked. By now my sadness had turned into anger. "Honour? Honour is protecting the realm. Honour is doing right by your peers. Honour is having respect for your superiors, and hope that they respect you half as much. Honour isn't about being a man or a woman. Honour is doing what you can for everyone who deserves it. Honour is knowing when to strike and when to defend. I know about honour, sir, I know it so much I would die for it. Your honour won't be held down because you have a woman in your ranks. Your honour would be turned over every time you lay your head to sleep and think there's one less capable person in this fortress wanting to protect everyone south of the Wall. And that it was you that made her leave. You'll be dishonoured when wildlings and white walkers come rushing through the gates and you wish you'd had another ranger by your side with my knowledge, my qualities and you don't. Because I'm a woman."

Silence fell inside the quarters as Lord Mormont looked me over and shook his head.

"I'm a—" I started my speech again, but this time it was the Commander that interrupted me.

"Yes, yes. I know. You're a sworn member in Night's Watch." I looked down at my hands and then back at him. He walked to me and looked me straight in the eyes. "There won't be any special treatment." I sighed in relief and nodded. "There will be no whining, and complaining." I nodded. "You'll do my bidding, without blinking. This…thing…won't leave this room. Anyone finds out, if you go one step out of line, it's your head and Jon's."

I had forgotten about Jon, until he had spoken of him. He was standing near the window, looking at the Commander as if he had woken up now too.

"He didn't know, sir," I said while looking at Jon.

"If I have to have my honour and life threatened because you're here, you'll have to have your life and someone else's life in your hands as well. Responsibility, girl, doesn't come easy." I nodded at him. "Now leave. Fetch your mask and your scarf. We have more bodies to burn."

We turned to leave and as we were at the door I turned around to look at the old Commander sitting down in his cot.

"Thank you, sir," I said gratefully.

"Don't make me regret this, boy." I nodded and closed the door.

The body was already burned to ashes when I looked at it. I saw Jon standing near the door looking at me. An angry look on his face, my mask in his hand. He threw the mask at me and I caught it with my burnt hand, hissing as the mask nicked at my burnt flesh.

"Come!" Jon said turning around. "We need to heal your hand."

I followed him to the herbalist quarters, head hung low, mask in place, hood up, hand cradled to my chest. When we got to the small healing corner of Castle Black, Jon pointed me to the table in there and I sat, taking off my gloves the best I could. He grabbed a few liquids, plants and a stone mortar. Jon sat in front of me, grabbed my arm roughly, unattached the leather clasps on my wrist protector and pushed the rough material of the undershirt up.

"Take the mask off," he ordered, and I did as I was told. He grabbed some ice from a bowl and placed it on my burnt palm, I hissed again at the coolness calming the heat down. "Take the hood off." I did. "Look at me." I kept my eyes low and he pressed his finger into my palm and I looked up immediately in pain.

"What was that for?" I shouted at him.

"One, keep your voice down, without the mask it's not muffled. You sound like a girl. Two, it's for lying to me." He looked angry and hurt and I shifted my gaze down again. "Look up!" I did.

"I couldn't tell you," I said honestly looking him in the eyes. The fact being that I was actually being me for the first time. Without the mask, without trying to be a rougher version of me. The fact he could actually see my whole expression, made me smile and cry at the same time. "I couldn't. It would make you an accomplice. I'm sorry."

"Why are you crying now?" He asked me, as he started to make some healing liquid for my hand. "Am I hurting you? Has your best friend lied to you about everything since you've met him?"

I sniffed and shook my head.

"Her," I told him and he looked at me surprised.

"I'm a her." He looks down again. "I haven't lied to you. Everything you heard coming out of my mouth was true."

He kept looking down, fiercely mastering the mortar, mixing a few herbs together with some water. I took a deep breath and placed my good hand on his head. He stopped moving, but I kept my hand on his black curls. As he looked up, my hand fell to his cheek.

His face was cold. Jon didn't move. He looked at me half scared, half confused. I looked at him and smiled. He knew my smile.

"I have…never…I will never lie to you," I said. "If you believe nothing else, believe that. Please."

He surprised me by leaning into my hand and grinning.

"I believe you," he replied and my smile grew. "Now let me concentrate Bos!"

I let go of his face and sat quietly as he prepared the mixture to help my hand heal.

"Annora," I said suddenly startling him. "My first name is Annora"

"Annora?" He repeated and I nodded.

"Annora de Bos. Bos Ora." I rolled my eyes jokingly and he shook his head at the mighty smart thing I had done with my name.

It took him an hour to prepare the goo. He worked silently, making small talk. I was just glad he seemed to be taking this rather well. Jon grabbed a clean bandage and spread the goo on it.

"This might hurt a bit Ann," he said.

"Try wrapping two pairs of bandages to your chest every day," I joked.

"Try getting kneed in the groin," he replied, wrapping the bandage around my injured hand. "By a girl. That should have given me a clue about all of this. If you knew how much that hurt, you would never have done it."

I smiled and nodded at my friend. There were many things I wouldn't have done had I known how much they would hurt.


	17. 17 Wide Awake

I really hope you enjoy this.

Thank to all who've reviewed and to all who read. Also thank you to my beta MrsBates93!

* * *

**Present**

"That's impossible!" I shout at Ser Jorah.

After the confrontation of what might be the answer to my eye problem, the three of us had just stood there, looking at each until I had had enough of the silence.

"It's magic," Dany says looking at me confused and I shake my head.

"No, no, no. If I was anywhere near being a Wight, I'd be…uncontrollable. I'd be a pawn of the White Walkers. I can't be something like that and still be me. I've encountered a Wight, hell, I've killed a Wight, and it didn't function normally. It tried to kill me and Jon. One of our brothers, someone we saw every day. It was as if something else was inside his body controlling him."

"Maybe it's not a Wight," Ser Jorah says as he paces up and down where we are.

I see Dany suddenly tense up and run somewhere. We watch her disappear around the circle of her people. I dismissed it and turned to Ser Jorah again.

"What is the common knowledge about the creation of White Walkers?" Ser Jorah asks and I groan, trying to remember Sam's stories.

"I'm definitely not a White Walker." Ser Jorah looks at me and prompts me to answer. "Not much about their creation. White Walkers came from the uttermost North more than eight thousand years ago. Their arrival will be preceded by a winter that lasts a generation and a period of darkness known as the Long Night."

"That's the history of the creatures, but not of their creation. How are they born?" I shrug my shoulders. "Magic, you can't deny that it exists. Just look at Dany and her dragons." I groan and shake my head.

He's insane. I blame it on the sun. I'm not magical or mythical or anything of the sort for that matter. It's not possible. Right?

I look at Ser Jorah who is looking behind me and I turn. Dany is walking towards us with an older woman, she's talking to her, and the woman looks confused. She's shaking her head and Dany shrugs. They reach us and begin to speak.

"This is Lohara. She's the Dothraki version of a witch, just not very powerful. She senses things or so the Dothraki say." Dany shrugs. "She might help…maybe…What's the worse she can do?"

"Put a spell on me?" I say and Dany shakes her head and says something to the woman.

She is older than me and Dany, she looks to be around Ser Jorah's age. Her eyes transmit some experience in her gaze. She has the traditional Dothraki looks; long braided black hair, brown skin and eyes. She walks around me examining me, and every time I move she would slap the body part that moved. I try to turn around and she slaps me gently on the back of my neck. I try to move away and she slaps my thigh. She circles me for a few minutes and I'm about to speak when she says something in Dothraki to Dany.

"She says that you've seen the other side," the woman says while she keeps circling me. "You see the night. You see the dead. Strong soul. Fighter's soul. It fought the snow and the fire." The woman starts to talk faster. "You fight inside? The fire and the snow." The woman keeps babbling. "You are a snow soldier. Soldier blue and red. Snow. Fire. Good. Evil. "

"Fire." She stops in front of me and pokes my right side and then the left side. "Snow. Good." She touches the right side again. "Bad." She touches the left.

She repeats this a few times, touching my shoulders, each time with more force than the last, until I'm taking a few steps back. I stop when I bump into Ser Jorah's chest and the woman puts her hands on my shoulders.

Her hand on the right side is hot, almost burning, but the hand on the left is cold, ice cold. I look at the burning side and see my scars. They're pinkish and they are starting to burn all over.

"They are burn marks," Dany says quietly but surely. "Not bite marks."

The older woman let go of my shoulders and Dany walked closer to me.

"It's the Wights that burn not the White Walkers," Ser Jorah insists and I shake my head. The old woman says something again.

"Soldier," Dany translates.

"Let's see." Dany tries to make sense of what the woman was saying, I can see her trying to piece everything together. "You were attacked by White Walkers. You fought them yes?" I nod. "They know you can fight. It's been told by legends that a long time ago they attacked the South. What do you need to attack something?"

"Soldiers," me and Ser Jorah say and she nods.

"So they see you and Jon fighting, they see you as soldiers. They try to make you a Wight, but before they get the chance to, you get burned somehow and they can't."

"So they make you one of them," Ser Jorah finished.

"Look at me!" I shout. "I'm not a White Walker. I've seen a white walker… and I'm not one of them."

"Your half of one," Dany says. "The other half is burnt. I've been told White Walkers like cold not warmth."

I roll my eyes and shake my head. I breathe in deeply; I can't let my anger get the best of me. I can't believe I'm actually going along with what they're saying. Let them say what they want. The eye colour could be because I had lost some blood. There's nothing magical about me, I'm normal.

"We need to get going. It's getting hotter," I say sarcastically while looking at Dany pointedly and she rolls her eyes.

"Fine, don't believe us. But magic does exist. If I can be the mother of dragons, why can't you be magical as well?"

"White walkers are not dragons, there is a difference. Dragons can be taught. White Walkers kill and do not take orders," I say and walk to my horse, where I sit until Dany instructs some of her warriors to go and try to find some cities. They were to ride until they found any sign of civilization and ride back to us with the news. They would find us if they rode in the direction that the sun rose.

As soon as I see the Dothraki warriors ride off I step back until all of them pass me and I'm the last person with a horse. I have always preferred to watch the backs of the people I protect. I always thought that if I'm the last one I can watch the fallen and help them, and if I'm the last one, I can be their first defense against an attack.

I see Dany ride to me and then sit next to me on her horse. I can tell she's going to try and convince me again of the White Walker nonsense.

"Have you thought about Jon?" She asks and I stop my horse. No I haven't. "If he was attacked with you?"

"No! Jon wouldn't become a Wight," I answer her.

"Because he would become a full fledge White Walker instead." I swallow and try not to cry.

It's impossible.


	18. 18 Longest Day

Hi! Sorry for the late update! Life has been chaos and then I went on vacation...lol...So sorry...But here is three new chapters! Hope you enjoy!

Beta'ed by the wonderfull MrsBates93

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Present

When a Dothraki horse appears without a rider, you know something is wrong. So when we saw one approach the camp both me and Dany got up from where we were sitting. One of the warriors that Dany had sent to search for people hadn't had much luck, all that remained of him was his head in a bag on the horse. There were cries and curses, but also promises of revenge. The second warrior had more luck and found the city of Qarth 'the greatest city that was and will be.'

We were allowed to enter the city after a few threats from the 'Thirteen'; a council of nobles and merchants, and one of them Xaro Xhoan Daxos, came to our aide when he made a Sumai, some kind of promise that he'll takes us in on his own responsibility. (need to check these names before I send it over)

After we are settled, Dany asks me to stay in a smaller room that was supposed to be for the maids. The only thing that separates our rooms is some opaque curtains. We began our stay by being invited to a party by Xaro.

"Look Nizho." I had been sitting on the window sill and looked at her. "Coins." She had her hands filled with gold coins. "Xaro gave me them. I will pay him, I must. But for now I have to accept them."

Two chamber maids had been walking and looking around while settling the Khaleesi into her room. I had been sitting at the same place since we'd arrived, still thinking over what had been said on the journey here. "Could I be something terrible? Have I become the enemy of everything I wanted to protect? Had Jon become something I had sworn to kill?" All these thoughts swirled around in my mind.

"Nizho?" I had heard Dany say from next to me. She looked concerned but smiled at me none the less. "Are you okay?"

"I honestly cannot answer that question," I replied and she grabbed my hand.

"Whatever you are, you have to accept it. Good or bad." I had nodded but didn't accept her advice.

Dany sighed and gave me a pouch with the coins that Xaro had given her. I didn't want to accept them, but she ordered me to go out and buy something pretty for the party. I had protested all the way down the stairs from the room we were staying in.

I had walked to the market. I was amazed as much as the first time I saw the world beyond The Wall. People were shouting above each other about the prices of their wares while children laughed happily. The scene was colourful; from the silks to the fruits, the smell was wonderful; spicy and sweet. That day I spent the whole afternoon walking around looking, touching fabric on the weaver's stand and the iron on the blacksmith's. I had tasted some sweet fruit on the food stands. In the end I had spent the gold Dany had given me on new weaponry and leather for making new riding clothes. The Dothraki woman had taught me how to sew and make my own clothing. Only at the end of my shopping trip did I remember that I had to buy something for the party. I ran to the weaver's stand and bought a long piece of orange satin material and a metal band and brooch.

As soon as I had entered the room Dany was walking out from the bathing area. She looked stunning. She was wearing a blue dress and she smelled of roses. I had smiled at her because she looked sincerely happy.

"Let me see your dress," she had said and I had dismissed her saying that she would only see it at the party. What I didn't want her to know was that I didn't really have a dress, just an idea of one.

"You should go. Xaro will be waiting for you," I told her and she sighed knowing it was true. I smiled. "Go my Khaleesi. I'll be right behind you." She nodded and walked to the entrance only to turn around and surprise me with a hug.

She had never shown me this kind of affection. Nobody had. Maybe Jon, but that had been different. She had to be on her tip toes to fully embrace me. At first I had been surprised at her actions, but after a short while I relaxed and hugged her back.

"Whatever you are Ann, you'll always be welcome in my company and my people's. Alive or undead," she whispered into my ear and I nodded.

"Whatever I am Daenerys, I'll be here. Alive or dead." She had taken a step back and nodded.

"I hold you to that Nizho." I nodded and told her to go, which she did with a bounce in her step. She had confided in me that she was glad to be here. As much as she liked to be outside with the sand and the horses, a girl could only take so much sand.

I had asked for one of Xaro's maids to boil some water, while I dug into one of my many satchels. Since I had arrived in the tribe and learnt how to sew I had taken a liking into making my own clothes. The way I could make all the pieces fit together like a puzzle encouraged me. I wasn't a master at it like some of the women in the tribe were, but I had made some garments to my liking. I had kept them in the middle of my Night's Watch clothes.

When the maid had told me the water was warm I smiled at her and walked slowly into the liquid. I wasn't used to bathing in warm water. I felt wonderful; all the pains from the long travel were dissolving like the steam that rose from the water. It took me a while to leave but I had remembered Dany was waiting for me at the party and ran to the bedroom to find the clothes I had laid out earlier.

I am now looking at myself in the mirror and wondering if what I was wearing wasn't too out there for a highborn party. I'm wearing a blacktop that wraps around my neck in a braid, black clean riding pants that left my stomach bare while the shoes were borrowed from Dany, Xaro had given them to her, but unlike the dress that fit her perfectly, the shoes were too big and she passed them to me. Now with me only wearing this I look like I'm ready to ride Qeshah out of here, but I took the fabric I had bought at the market, placed it on the shoulder, half in front of me, the other half behind me, the metal belt is next. I secure it around my waist and tighten it with a black leather string. I manoeuvre the brooch to hold the fabric to my tank top near my shoulder and I'm ready.

I'm going to get ridiculed. And honestly, I couldn't care less. I grab one of my smaller swords and walk outside. Two of Dany's guards are outside, I nod at them and I hear them say something and turn around raising an eyebrow.

"Zheanna Nizho." I recognize the crow part, but shrugged at the rest.

"You are female. We did not know," one of them said smiling and I roll my eyes at him.

"Tokik!" I yell at him.

"Not fool…blind."

I wave at them and walk towards where the party is, and as soon as I step inside the biggest garden I've ever laid eyes on, I just want to leave. I turn to walk out but I had already been seen.

"Well it's confirmed, you are a woman." Ser Jorah says from behind me and I turn around to face him.

"You know, you're the second one to tell me that today," I tell him as he shows me his arm and I link my arm with his. "Where's Dany?"

"Mingling," he says simply and we walk around.

"How are you feeling?" I shrug. I'm not feeling anything in particular right now. "About the subject from before?" I swallow and look at him.

"One thing Sam taught me about fears, once you read about it, their gone." Ser Jorah looks at me questioningly. "This is the greatest city that was and will be, yes?" He nods. "There's got to be a library here somewhere."

"What will you do if you find out that you are something magical?"


	19. 19 Nothing But Time

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

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**Present**

"It's not magical being half dead. It's even less magical being made into something you vowed to protect others from," I say as I look at him, we are standing near a huge golden bird. "If I am…that…I'll make sure that I'm dealt with."

"You'll kill yourself?" I shrug. I'm not sure I'd be capable of that. But I'm sure someone might. "You can only be killed by dragon glass or dragon steel. Unless you want to walk into a fire."

"You talk like you already know what I am Ser Jorah. Besides, I'm around the Mother of Dragons half of the time. I'm sure dragon glass, dragon steel or fire won't be hard to find."

We hear a commotion behind us and see two Dothraki men fight about something and Ser Jorah rolls his eyes. He starts to argue with them and asks me to find Dany. I look at the sea of people in front of me and find it surprisingly easy to find Dany in the middle of them. Her silver blonde hair caught the light unlike any other.

I walk slowly towards the Khaleesi and touch her shoulder. I smile as she jumps and turns around to look at me. Her surprised expression makes me laugh softly.

"I know, I look like a woman." She nods. "Ser Jorah wants to talk to you. I think it's about some Dothraki warrior's manners."

She moves to look behind me and we both hear the Dothraki men arguing. Dany frowns and turns around, changing her face to an innocent smile.

"Please excuse me for a moment," she says and we both walk towards the men.

After an amusing argument in Dothraki, to which I understood half, while the other half was lost in translation.

"My brother used to say the only thing the Dothraki knew how to do," Dany says as we walk away from the golden bird, "was steal things better men have built."

"It's not the only thing," Ser Jorah counters smiling. "They're quite good at killing the better men."

I laugh with him but stop at Dany's expression.

"That's not the kind of queen I'm going to be."

"Mother of Dragons. On behalf of the warlocks of Qarth, I welcome you." A voice said from behind us.

We turned around and a frightening man stood in front of us. His lips were blue like his eyes. But something inside him was dead and something inside me made me snarl. I felt Ser Jorah's hand on my arm and I stopped.

Everyone in the garden gasped as duplicates of the first man appeared and I went for my knife.

"Quiet child."

"Should you grow tired of Xaro's baubles and trinkets, it would be an honour to host you at the House of the Undying." He looks at me straight in the eyes and grins, his rotten teeth showing. "And you, cold one as well," he adds before he turned and walked away.

Cold one.

I turn around and excuse myself from the party. There's got to be a library around here somewhere.

I arrive at the bedroom late at night, taking off my shoes to walk inside without a sound. My outfit is half undone; the fabric that made my garment formal had been transformed into a bag. I had been able to find a library and had spent the other half of the day trying to find anything I could about the white walkers.

There was nothing but the stories that Sam had already told me. I had written what I had found out down onto some parchment, but there was nothing that would really help me. The only thing that said about the creation of white walkers was that it was done by magic. Casting spells into the dead would turn dead into wights, but cast another spell and they would become a white walker. So it was possible to become a white walker upon dying. There's no explanation as to how and why one could become half and half.

"Where have you been?" I hear Dany's voice come from the bed, I turn and smile at her.

"Reading." She frowns and pats the bed where she's lying, well, sitting.

"Did you find anything?" She asks yawning and I shake my head. "Maybe tomorrow."

"How was the rest of the party?" I ask walking around the room, trying to find my sleeping clothes, which were in my old Night's Watch undergarments.

"Oh…nothing new," she says nonchalantly. "Xaro asked me to marry him and Ser Jorah is finding me a boat."

I stop what I am doing and turn slowly towards her, eyebrows raised.

"Excuse me, what did you just say?" I walk towards her bed and sit down again.

She proceeds to tell me everything that happened after I left and with each word my eyebrows raise more and more. I don't trust Xaro's intentions much, taking in consideration that we've just met him. I'd rather help Ser Jorah find her a boat then have her marry anyone of interest. Anything that could be held against you isn't good. And I can just see Xaro stabbing Dany in the back for the throne. I'm frowning as she ends her story and she sighs.

"I hope you are not considering Xaro's offer," I say getting up once again, this time to wash my hands and face.

"To be honest with you, I did." I turn to her to give her a piece of my mind, but she cuts me off. "But Ser Jorah talked me out of it."

"Good! I'd kill Xaro for hurting you and then I'd kill Ser Jorah for letting him do it." She smiles softly and yawns again. "Go to sleep. Tomorrow is a brand new day."

She nods and slides down into the bed and I walk to the smaller room attached to it. I look at the bed and sigh. I lie down and look at the night sky that can be seen from the window in front of my bed.

What if I'm becoming something bad? What if I end up being a murderous monster that can only think of killing those around me? What if I'm a White Walker and don't know it? Is my heart beating? Yes. I am breathing. I can think with my own head. I haven't wanted to kill anyone, aside from a few people, who I'm sure deserved it. I wish I had Sam here. I'm sure he'd find out something about this…condition…I'm sure he would already know what it was. I wish Jon was here. He would've helped me. Could he be similar to me? Could he be undead?

I feel the gods laugh at me. The girl, who didn't want to be herself, now wishes she could just be herself. The one, who had sworn to protect others from danger, could now be the danger.

I drifted off to an restless sleep, filled with dreams and memories. Memories of when I was me. When I used to be normal.


	20. 2o Follow Me Down

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

I had just arrived back from a hunt. My cloak was heavy from the melted snow; I was cold, tired and hungry. We had caught a deer that had come out to graze in the forest and had been caught in one of the nets we had set up. It took us all afternoon to bring the beast back. With my hand still burnt and the fear of wights still high at the front of our minds we were more than a little distracted.

I got down from my horse and called War the eagle and Ghost the dire wolf. John had let him come with me. The wolf had been on house arrest since Jon had become a steward. The eagle flew over my head while the wolf sat next to my legs looking up at me.

"Let's find your owner shall we?" I asked the pet and he walked in front of me, probably already knowing where his master was.

I walked at a leisurely pace behind the animal, at this time of the day, Jon and his troupe could only be in one place, the kitchen. Making dinner. The irony didn't escape me and I snickered. I was the woman and the ranger who walked into the kitchen to see five lords preparing the soup.

"Hello ladies!" I said as I walked inside the room. "The lord of the house has arrived."

"Did you bring some food?" Sam asked looking at me from behind a big pot of stew and nodded. "What?"

"Deer," I said simply leaning against the wall, crossing my arms and legs, flinching as my hand touched the fabric.

"You shouldn't be hunting with that hand." I heard Pip say from the other side of the room.

"Who else would bring you dinner, brother?"

"You're not the only ranger around here," he argued.

"Even with half my grasp, I'm more of a ranger than anyone of those fools. Can you believe they wanted to chop the deer up and bring it separately?" I roll my eyes behind the mask. "If it wasn't for Ghost snarling in front of the thing, I'd still be out there, carving the godforsaken creature."

Suddenly I remembered why I walked into the kitchen and neither Ghost nor Jon were to be seen. Frowning I turned to Sam.

"Where is the Lord's Maid?" I asked him only to feel something hit my head from behind. I turned around to catch another object being thrown at me. I looked at the thing, it was a potato. Half peeled.

I looked at the direction from where it had come from and saw Jon looking at me with a frown on his face. I had to stifle a laugh. He was sitting in front of the fire, a huge sack of potatoes in front of him, grudgingly peeling one. I turned back to Sam and gave him something from my small pouch.

"For you my friend." Sam was trying to collect all the herbs from around the area, making some kind of book about them. He always asking me to bring him any herb I found outside. Sometimes he would even draw pictures of the flowers and herbs. This time I had found something he had asked me for a week ago. His face lit up when he saw the herbs, and started to make a space to dry them off. I than walked towards my former aggressor, grabbed a stool from nearby and sat down in front of him. I actually crossed my arms and legs and sat there, grinning.

The event of my coming out as being a woman had been four days ago. Our relationship hadn't changed much. Well, he had started to be kinder when he spoke and he would make sure he was the one who would treat my hand. We would talk about me and my disguise, and he would actually help me with things, he even told me that he would cut my hair if I ever needed it. Of course I had made fun of him, telling him I wouldn't do the same, mainly because his black locks were all he had to protect that thick head of his. We had also started making subtle jokes about my different gender, although I don't think anyone ever noticed or understood. In the end, I was glad he was accepting this. He had told me, he had too, or he'd be betraying Arya. He had told me about his little sister who wanted to play with swords instead of sewing. He had told me that, if given the choice, she would be here too.

"Are you going to help me or just sit there?" he asked me finally as I stretched myself out.

He blushed; this was also one of the jokes about him knowing I was a girl. I had caught him looking at my general chest area, once, and now every time I stretched he would blush and I would roll my eyes. He couldn't see anything, no one could, three layers of clothing and a few bandages made sure of that. But he had other knowledge. He knew there was something there. I laughed at him every time I did this and he would look down at his hands.

"I think I'll just sit here." I patted my leg and Ghost, who was lying near the fire, came to me and laid his head on my leg. Somehow I think the dog also knew my secret. "Let the women do the work, besides I'm hurt." I showed him my hand and he rolled his eyes.

"You're not hurt to hunt some deer, but to peel two potatoes, it's like your hand is falling off," he told me, shaking his head and I gave in. I took my cloak off keeping the mask on, placing the stool somewhere where I could sit so that my back would be fully turned towards the door. So if Ser Alliser walked in here and saw me sitting peeling potatoes, he'd make me watch The Wall tonight and tonight all I really wanted to do was sleep.

I grabbed a knife that was lying around and started to peel potatoes. Now, truth be told, I sucked at it. There wasn't one potato that I'd finished with that Jon hadn't grabbed and had to peel again.

He groaned and I looked up. He was about to say something but shook his head and looked down at the vegetable instead.

"What?" I asked leaning back.

"Nothing," he said and then looked up again and I frowned.

"What?" He opened his mouth and shut up again. "Come on. I can take it." Jon cocked his head to look behind me and sighed.

"For a girl," he mouthed the 'girl' part, "you suck at domestic activities."

I looked him in the eyes and raised my eyebrows. I had been offended and yet I was surprised that he had acknowledged me for being what I truly am. A woman.

"Well then, be glad that I'm the one hunting down the dinner instead of making it."

We stared at each other for a while until laughter got the best of us, and we ended up laughing until we were crying, our friends looking at us wondering what had happened.


	21. 21 Meet Me Halfways

For my lovely readers here's some moorreeeeeee...mwahaha...

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

When the Lord Commander asked for me and Jon to go to see him, I started to count my blessings. He hadn't given me any sign that he was going to change his mind but still, every time he would look at me I would turn my gaze and every time he would talk to me I would just nod. So when me and the usual suspect were called to his study I was more than a bit shaky.

We were walking up the stairs when I started to feel my chest get heavy. The air that passed through the mask wasn't enough for me. I was panicking and I knew that. I stopped at the top of the stairs and grabbed the wooden railing for support. I felt like I was about to fall back.

"Breathe." I felt Jon's hand on my shoulder. "Just breathe."

"I can't," I responded breathlessly.

"Come on Bos. Breathe," he urged me again.

"He's going to kick me out," I whispered. "I can't leave. I have nowhere else to go. The forest is freezing. I'll be dead by tomorrow."

There was silence between us and I looked up to Jon for help. He was looking at me straight in the eyes. He looked scared and confused.

"Say something," I said and he shook his head.

"I…" He cleared his throat. "He's not going to kick you out. I don't think he will anyway. Besides if he hasn't thrown Sam out yet, he's not going to throw you out."

"He might throw the three of us out though." I had managed to walk slowly towards the Lord's room. I had never cried while at the Wall, but I was on the verge of tears just thinking about the three of us outside. I looked back at Jon and he still had that scared and confused look on his face. "What's with the look?"

"I…I don't know want to tell you."

"What? You're supposed to say he's not going to, and help me man up for this talk."

"Is that what you have to say to a girl who is on the verge of tears? To man up?"

My face went blank for a while until I looked at him and shook my head laughing.

"I take that it is." He shrugged bumping his shoulder with mine.

"When you two ladies are done with your conversation out there you can come in." We heard Lord Mormont's voice shout from inside and we both stood straighter, walking inside the old man's study.

We stood near the door; Commander Mormont looked up at us from behind his wooden desk.

"How's the hand, Ranger?" he asked before getting up.

"Fine, sir," I answered looking down at my still patched up hand. "Jon's been helping me with it."

"Good. How are you Snow? Since the fight with that dead man?"

"Fine, sir," he mimicked my answered.

"Still practicing with Sam on how to use a sword I hope," he stated and Jon nodded.

He turned his back to us and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. Unconsciously I grabbed Jon's hand and squeezed it. I felt him tense up and as the Commander turned I let go but he didn't relax.

"Good. Then you might still use this well," he said as he handed him a sheath with a sword protected inside. The hilt had a carved wolf in white wood; the black leather that was wrapped around it was clean and shiny. We both stood staring at the weapon.

"I thought a wolf was more appropriate for you than a bear, so I had a new pommel made. It's called Longclaw," the old commander said. "Works as well for a wolf as it would for a bear, I think."

Jon took the sword, looked at me and smiled as I urged him to unsheathe the blade. It was the must clear metal I'd ever seen. The edges were so perfectly sharpened that you could feel it's cut without even touching it. It was without a doubt Valerian.

"This is Valerian steel," Jon said.

"It was my father's sword, and his father's before him. The Mormonts have carried it for five centuries. It was meant for my son Jorah. He brought dishonour to our House, but he had the grace to leave the sword, before he fled from Westeros."

"My lord, you honour me, but l can't..." Jon argued and I rolled my eyes behind the mask.

"Oh, you can. And you will. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for your little troupe. A bloody dead man tried to kill me. So you'll take it. I'll hear no more about it. Is that understood?"

"Yes, my lord." Jon abided the Commander's order and placed the sword under his arm.

"Right." The commander looked at me and I swallowed, stopping myself from dashing from the room. Jon though had decided to be my knight in shining armour. He had placed himself between me and the Commander, not by much, but enough so to be noted. We both shifted our gazes to him. "Snow," Jon straightened even more. "I'm not going to hurt her. God knows we need her hunting skills." Jon moved aside and I grinned. "Take the mask and the hood off, girl. I like to talk to people face to face." I unclasped the mask and then took off the hood from above my head, but stared at the ground. "And I like to look them in the eye when I'm speaking to them." I looked up. Both men looked at me and blushed, not used to this much attention on me.

Mormont nodded and turned his back to us and I looked at Jon, who had that dumbfounded look on his face, like he had never seen a woman before. I smiled gently at him and he did the same.

"Now," the Commander's voice boomed inside the room. "I know letting you stay is already a big thank you, but you deserve this." He handed me two smaller sheaths. "They're not Valerian, but they are more suited for you. They're lighter than your usual blade. Like everything about you, they can be concealed under your armour."

The swords were attached to a harness that would fit around my shoulders, making the blades rest horizontally on my back, hidden under the cloak. One of the swords could be unsheathed from the left and the other from the right. The hilts were black on one and white on the other and the blade was white on the black hilted one and black on the white hilted one. I looked up at the Commander.

"Thank you, sir. There was no need," I told him sincerely.

"No there wasn't. My debt was already paid." He sat down at his desk again. "But see it as an incentive to keep up the good work. Now, Jon." He turned his gaze to the younger man and I sighed, happy to have the attention move to another person. "Don't think this means I approve of this nonsense with you and Alliser Thorne. That's a man's sword. It'll take a man to wield it. That why I didn't give it to her." I grinned when Jon looked at me.

"I'll apologise to Ser Alliser tonight," Jon said looking at the ground.

"No, you won't. I sent him to King's Landing yesterday." We both looked at him questioningly. "The hand that your wolf tore off that thing's wrist...I've, erm, ordered Thorne to lay it at the feet of this...boy king." The three of us rolled our eyes. "That should get young Joffrey's attention. And it, erm, puts a thousand leagues between you and Thorne." I snickered and Jon groaned. "Now, both of you go to your duties. I've heard you've got patrolling duty today, ranger. And, steward, bring me my supper."

"Yes, my lord," we both said and walked quickly out of the study.

As soon as I stepped outside the door I replaced my mask but unclasped my cloak.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying the harness out." I threw the cloak to Jon, who fumbled around trying to hold it as well as the sword.

The harness fit like a glove and once I placed the cloak on my back the swords became invisible. They weighed next to nothing. I practiced for a bit taking them out and sheathing them again until I was comfortable that I wasn't going to tear my arm off. When I was finished doing this I looked up at Jon who was leaning against a pole in front of me.

"What?" I asked as we both made our way to the courtyard.

"For someone who was having a panic attack before we walked in, you look pretty happy with the outcome," he said as we stood in the courtyard. One of the ranger's yelled for me and I nodded back at him.

"Ranger duty," I said and he nodded. "See you in a bit Steward."

"Good luck, Ranger." He turned around and then turned back, looking at his feet. "Be careful."

"Aren't I always?" I smiled and turned back making my way towards the ranger who had called me.


	22. 22 Sweet Misery

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

I had rode all day with my brothers up and down the forest hunting, and then we had to ride to the nearest village to escort one of our vegetable supplier's to The Wall, which meant my whole afternoon and evening were spent on a horse. When I got back to Castle Black everything was eerily silent, and I knew immediately something was wrong. We showed the supplier to his quarters for the night and I walked to the mess hall. No one was there; usually Sam would be here expecting me with a cup of warm soup. It had its perks to have friends in low places in here.

I waked outside and called for War, who came circling down to me, landing on my outstretched arm. My fellow rangers passed by me as I walked slowly up the stairs. Somehow I had the feeling something was going to jump out at me. My legs were in bad shape, my burnt hand was hurting and my other hand wasn't any good either and the fact my friends were nowhere in sight made me even grumpier.

As soon as I stepped into the corridor that led to my quarters I was certain something had gone wrong. Sam was standing in front of my door. It's not that he was there that scared me. It was the fact that he was standing there wide awake. If everything was alright he'd be sitting down. He looked at me as he heard my steps and ran to me. Now I knew something was definitely wrong.

"What happened?" I asked slowly even before he got to me.

"Jon…" he started.

That was all it took for me to turn around, let War fly away and run to Jon's room. When I got there I heard War chirp inside the room and Ghost's whines near the door. The only thing on my mind was Jon being hurt. Somehow a weird image passed through my mind. Jon without any arms. I don't know what made it come up but somehow that was what came to my mind. It made me bang on the door as hard as I could.

"Jon. Open up!" I shouted. Nothing. "Jon, you either open this door right now or I'll tear it down!" When no sound was heard from inside the room I took three steps backwards and ran towards the door. I was too late to stop myself when he suddenly opened the door and we both crashed to the ground.

We laid there for a while, just staring at each other. He looked sad and angry, but he was breathing and alive. I sighed and placed my good hand on his face. Confused was added to the mixtures of feelings on his handsome face, but after two blinks he leaned against it.

Something hitting my ankles woke us both up from our reverie and I turned. The door was hitting my feet, trying to close itself, because of the cold air. I groaned and we both got up. I closed the door and dead bolted it. If someone had seen us, we'd be dead, but right then and there we weren't. I turned to him and unclasped my mask.

He had his back to me, leaning against the window. I threw the mask towards his cot and unclasped the heavy cloak. A small fire was burning far enough from his cot, so it wouldn't catch alight but close enough to be comfortable. If whatever happened was bad, I wanted to be at least comfortable to argue with him about it.

"Right, what happened?" I asked placing my hands on my hips looking at his back. Silence was his response. My mood wasn't improving. "Jon…I've been riding all day and half the night, my legs are killing me, my hands feel like they are going to fall off at any moment, so if you could please make this easy for both of us." I sat down on his cot and pulled one leg up, resting my chin on it.

He turned around sniffling. Jon Snow was crying. He cried more than I did. I frowned and I started to get up but he advanced to the bed and sat down, head down, arms resting on his knees. He stayed silent for a while, until he took my burnt hand and started to unwrap it slowly. By then I was almost in tears myself.

"What's wrong Jon?" He placed the dirty bandages aside but kept my hand in his. I touched his curls, a usual caress between us.

"My father's dead." I can't tell him that I'm surprised about this, but I feel for him. "My brother is going to war. And I'm stuck, here."

I pulled my hand out of his and grabbed his face to look at him. I cleaned his tears with my fingers but more rolled down his face. Jon wasn't very emotional, or better yet, he was, but he hid it all behind the frown he wore, just like I did with the metal mask. Seeing him like this, so distraught made me cringe inside. I remembered what my sister used to do when I was sad. She started by letting me cry out all I had bottled up inside, and then she would comfort me. I took a deep breath. If it worked for me it wold work for him. My hands fell to his neck, where I kept them playing with the ends of his raven black hair.

"I tried to leave." I straightened my back to his confession and stopped any movements and he looked up at me. "I did. Sam and Pyp caught up with me. They didn't let me go." When I didn't move he looked down again, ashamed.

"Does anyone else know about this?" I asked him.

"No one." I sighed in relief. If the wrong people found out about this, it could have been the end. "I'm sorry," he said softly, which took me by surprise.

"Why?" I asked, moving closer to him. "You did nothing wrong."

"I was going to leave you behind." He looked at me and I swallowed. "I should have waited for you." I frowned and stood up. I was about to move away, but he grabbed my hands and kept me in place. "But I knew if I waited for you, you wouldn't let me go. And I would've stayed anyway."

"You're here none the less," I said.

I was standing in front of him, his hand holding my good one. Jon's head was still down, and he had taken up his initial position, with one arm resting on his legs. He looked defeated, like he had lost a war instead of a parent. I tried to place myself in his position but couldn't. My father was a good man and I loved him as much as a daughter could, but still. I knew he was alive and when he died it would be from natural causes. He had no grudges with anyone.

"It took them a while to talk me round and make me go back," he said and I crouched down, my legs screaming in pain.

"You're stubborn Snow. I'd imagined it would take a speech to make you do anything you wouldn't want to," I replied looking him in the eyes.

I could see his jaw set and relax countless times, like he was biting back everything. My hands found themselves on his face again and he closed his eyes. At the time it didn't dawn on me that we were closer than we had ever been since we'd met each other. Thinking back I could actually remember his breath on my face. I could smell the sweat and burnt ashes on him.

"It would have taken you just one word." I swallowed again, his forehead touched mine, my hand caressed his cheek and my eyes closed. Every bit of skin on him was cold, while mine was burning.

"Do you still want to go?" I asked after a few moments, I felt him nod and look up. Our faces were centimetres from each other's. I sighed and moved my face, not yet knowing what was going on. Well I knew what was going on and what I was doing. The reaction was the unknown part.

I kissed his cold lips. He tensed up for a second, but then relaxed. He grabbed my face and pulled me towards him, his hands finding my pushed up hair, my own mimicking his movements. His hair felt unclean but I didn't mind. I had thought about this moment, where I would grab a handful of it, but now, nothing really registered in my brain. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but it was urgent and innocent. I was still crouched down, but my legs didn't hurt anymore. The burnt hand on his head didn't seem to hurt either. His lips became warmer as the kiss continued. We weren't experts at what we were doing, but neither of us cared. What mattered was that we were there, together.

We only stopped for air, but we kept the small distance between our faces, our hands still in each other's hair. My hazel eyes stared into his darker ones. It was my turn to move my forehead to touch his. Our body temperatures weren't so different now, we were both warm. He kept the silence; neither of us really thought about what had just happened and what tomorrow would bring. He moved his nose to brush mine and I closed my eyes. Our lips were a breath away from each other, this time I remembered his warm breath, I remembered how he tasted for the first time, and before he closed the distance between us, I told him what he wanted to hear.

"Stay."


	23. 23 Stuck

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Present**

I awoke suddenly as the memories tugged at my heart, and gave me no choice but to open my eyes and breathe deeply. I can smell Castle Black as if I'm still there. I can feel Jon's curls still intertwine in my fingers. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep now.

I grab my pants and the smaller blades and walk to the patio soundlessly. Finding the nearest and bulkiest tree I hit it with a force that I didn't know I had, with an agility I didn't know I possessed. I used every move I had ever learned to hit the defenceless tree at one point or the other. I'm not even seeing the bark, but I can feel every hit land.

"You should try sparring something that moves," Ser Jorah says from behind me.

"I'm not trying to spar. I'm trying to tire myself out so that I can sleep." I place the blades in their sheaths and turn to the dishonoured man. "I thought you were tracking a ship." He shrugs.

"There aren't many merchants awake at this time of night unless they are in a brothel, and I don't think that's a place for making business…" He shakes his head. "Well not this kind of business anyway."

I smile but keep looking at him, waiting for him to do something when he sits down on a step and leans back I clear my throat.

"Oh please continue, I haven't seen someone spar with a tree in a long time, it just might tire me as well," he says and I turn back to the tree. "Bend your knees." I look at him frowning. "Might as well make it educational." I do as he says. "There are two blades in your hands. Use them." I stop and turn around again.

"I am using them, thank you very much."

"Only when you tire one arm, you then swap to the other," Jorah says, not moving. "Not many knights can fight with both hands, they won't be expecting it."

"Not many knights will expect a woman handling any blade bigger than a letter opener."

"True, but since you are armed, do the best you can. Now, use one blade at the throat and the other at the stomach." I turn back to the tree, bend my knees and lower one of my blades and place the other higher. "Don't forget the height advantage on the knight." I move the upper hand even higher. "Good, now fight."

We stay there until I can't move my arms from the exertion. Ser Jorah adds tips and tricks to help me, something I'm truly thankful for. One is never good enough when it comes to fighting. There's always someone that knows more, that has seen more and if you are lucky enough to have him at your side helping you improve, you should always be thankful.

As the morning sun hits the top of the tree and the birds start to sing, me and Ser Jorah stop and sigh simultaneously. I sheath my blades once again and wipe my forehead with my shirt.

"I think it's early enough. I'm going to find us a ship," he says, passing by me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "You're a good fighter. But remember there will always be someone better." I nod and smile tiredly. "You should get some sleep. I think Dany might need you today."

As if on cue Daenerys walks down the steps fully dressed, with a hint of sleep still on her face. I see Ser Jorah dry swallow when he sees the Khaleesi and roll my eyes. It has been coming to my attention that the older man seems to be smitten by the younger woman. I clear my throat and bump my shoulder into his.

"The ship Ser Jorah." He straightens up and bids Dany good morning before he walks away.

"You're awake early Nizho." She looks at the tree and makes a disgusted face. "Really? First it's the stealing now it's the maiming of trees." She looks at me and sees the harness with the blades. "Why can't you behave like normal human beings? We are guests here!" She huffs and I smile embarrassed.

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep," I said.

"The tree didn't let you sleep?" She raises an eyebrow and I shake my head. "Then why did you hit it? Go get dressed; I'm going to see if I can get someone to finance us."

"Xaro seems interested." I grin mischievously at her.

"I want to find someone that can finance my endeavours without having to marry him," she says and sits on a stone bench under the shade of the tree. "Now go. Clean yourself up, and get dressed. I need at least one calm warrior with me. God knows what Kovarro might do when he sees himself surrounded by gold." I nod and run upstairs.

I find some warm water that a maid must have poured for Dany and clean myself the best I can. The braids Dany had done some nights ago were still embroidered into my scalp and I wasn't allowed to un-braid it unless Dany told me to do so. She was getting better at making braids and some of her maids had even asked her to make one in their own hair, which of course Dany complied, happy that she was getting better at it.

I dress in my black leather pants and the top that I had on yesterday for the party, but this time there was no fancy fabric covering it. I grabbed the sword I had bought at the market and my two smaller blades, which had been discarded when I was freshening up. I walk down the steps to see Kovarro already standing next to Dany and I nod at the man. My Dothraki isn't very good but I bid him good day.

We stand in the Spice King's parlour waiting; Xaro stands with us trying to calm Dany who is now pacing back and forth. They argue about marriage for a while, until the Spice King comes walking down the stairs of his home.

The argument between Dany and the Spice King made me want to lunge at his throat. But when the Khaleesi showed her true colours, I smiled and looked at Kovarro who glanced at me also and we both smirked. In the end all of Dany's screaming didn't convince the wealthy man to finance her expedition.

And that conclusion would follow us everywhere we went. Every noble man in the city of Qarth didn't trust Dany enough to give her anything more than a warm bed. And so we continued our journey to find someone who would help us. With no success, but with much determination.

Dany had quit begging for the day and we were sitting down in her room, resting. She had decided that tomorrow would be another day and that we would find someone to help us then.

"But now," she tells me, sitting down on her bed. "I need something to distract me." She looks at me and pats the bed next to her. "Sit. Tell me another one of your stories."


	24. 24 Roads Untravelled

More updates my dearies! Read and review...you you want to!

Beta'ed by the amazing MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

Soon after we had taken our oath, Lord Commander decided to have us go beyond The Wall. The rangers that had managed to go and come back successfully had reported that some of the wildling villages were abandoned. They had also found more wights in there and had burned them all. This had Commander Mormont worried and angry, so he had grabbed the willing and unwilling ones to ride to the North and find out what was happening.

Of course, since I was a Ranger I was expected to go. So as soon as the order was given I was already preparing my horse and satchel. It didn't feel like an obligation or a duty. I was enjoying the fact that I was actually going to go out and do something other than hunt and watch the Wall. I was glad to be going against wildlings and perhaps some other creatures.

I stood tall on the black horse that The Wall had given me. My mask in place,my bag secured and War screaming above me. I saw Sam and the other stewards arrive with provisions and gifts for some of us. I smiled and nodded at the boys and wondered where Snow was. I looked around and as I was about to ask Sam I saw a black mass stand beside me. I looked over and lo and behold Jon Snow was sat on top of a horse.

"Do you know where we're going?" I asked him he looked at me frowning.

"Beyond the Wall," he said cocking his head to the wooden gate in front of us.

Our encounter had happened a few days back, five or six I can't remember. Something had changed between us, not for the worse though. I would catch him looking at me and turn away from his gaze more times than usual and he had caught me doing the same. I would smile at him from under the mask and he would do the same. Two of the nights I was standing on top of The Wall watching the North, he'd come over to bring me supper, not that that had been his intention. Sam didn't like the idea of me and some of the other rangers standing all night without a hot cup of soup, so he would come up and bring us something warm to eat. Sometimes, when the food brought back from the hunt was enough to make soup for all the rangers he would bring up some warm water filled with herbs that made the water sweet. But those two nights he had come, saying the Old Bear had gone to bed early and he couldn't sleep. We would sit down at the opening looking out, talking and one of the nights; after I had ordered him to go to bed he had pushed my mask up and kissed me. It had been quick; it was over in a blink of an eye, but it had been enough to keep me awake for the rest of the night.

We found ways to talk honestly, Ghost and War helping the best they could. Jon had mastered making War a messenger, wrapping scraps of paper on his claws, like you would a raven. Most of them read, 'Be careful' or 'Come back safely' and some were even jokes 'Bring us some dinner, Ranger,' one read.

Jon and I knew, deep down, this wasn't going to last much longer. Lord Commander wasn't dumb, he knew what I was, so now more than ever we made sure our orders were always met without complaint or disdain. Whatever we were asked to do we would do it like we meant it. We were both experts on masking everything, from our feelings to our gender, so this was nothing new to us.

"I would have never guessed that steward," I told him shaking my head and looking forward.

"How should I know where we are going?" He was in one of his moods. This would make the trip even better. This mood of his was the best as it allowed me to make jokes about him.

"You're the Old Bear's maid." He growled. "Down boy! Just messing with you."

I kick my horse's side softly and he gallops through the gate. I was disappointed when I stood on the other side. I had crossed the gate once before for the vows, and there had been this feeling in my stomach of excitement. The sun was shining above us and the snow had been shining like it was being lit from underneath. I was hoping this time it would look the same. But it wasn't. The sun was hiding behind the grey clouds, there was no snow falling, but there was a low fog. The snow on the ground was murky and dirty, it's whiteness was changed to a dull grey that matched the colour of the sky. I sighed and kicked my horse further, now I was sharing Jon's mood.

I hear War screaming and his wings approaching me, I stretched my arm out so he could land. He chirped quietly as he would when he wanted something. I looked at the big bird. He had grown up fast, just like Sam had said. His baby feathers had shed and had been replaced with a beautiful black cape of feathers. From the sky he would look like a raven, but bigger, however when you looked closer he looked nothing like them. His beak was a strong orange colour that matched his eyes. Unlike Ghost whenever he landed on snow, he would be seen instantly. But on top of the trees where he would land, no one would see him.

He chirped again and clawed at my leather vambrace. There was something attached to his claw and I sighed. I balanced myself on top of the horse, my legs squeezing the middle part of the beast and tried to remove the paper bandage on my pet's claw. It took me three attempts and when I finally took it off War flew up and glided between the trees and the men.

I opened the piece of paper and it just read 'Be careful, and stay alive. Snow.' I looked back and saw him near his steward companions, looking bored. His constant frown in place. I ripped the message to shreds and stop my horse on the side lines waiting until the stewards come up. Sam was now sitting on the sled that the horses were straining to pull.

"Hey there Bos," he said waving at me and I waved back.

"I see you found a carriage that suits milord," I said jokingly to Sam, making the other brothers groan.

I see Jon look up and I ride my horse until we are riding side by side, almost at the back of the expedition. We rode in silence. Comfortable silence. We had rode and rode, passing village after village. All of them were deserted. The cold was starting to be unbearable, I had wrapped the cloak around me the best I could, and even War was perched on my shoulder.

We soon arrived at some kind of village. There was a big wooden house in the middle and some other smaller houses were scattered around it. Me and Jon got down from our horses and looked around. Something felt strange.

"There are no men," I said softly.

"Craster's daughter," One of the brother's said.

"I haven't seen a girl in six months," Sam sighed and I looked at him. If only he knew.

"I don't think they will be to your liking Sam," I told him placing a hand on his shoulder.

Apparently we were in the presence of Craster's tribe, consisting of his wives and daughters. He had a fool proof cycle. He would marry his daughters, who would give him more daughters, who he'd marry.

"He marries his daughters. What does he do with his sons?" Jon pointed out.

I shrugged and started to walk to the main house. Once I went inside, I took the seat nearest to the door. The house was small, with two levels. The top level was filled with young and old women; some were pregnant while others weren't. It scared me half to death that these women were slaves to this old man. It scared me even more about what would happen if he found out I was a woman.

"Southerners make good wine, I'll give you that," the Lord of this house said as Jon stood behind me.

"We're not Southerners," he spat and my eyes opened as wide as they would. What the hell was he doing? I was wishing and praying that he would just sit down quietly.

"Whose this little girl? You're prettier than half of my daughters," the old wildling said. "You got a nice wet twat between your legs?"

Jon was still standing, silent this time, and I was looking at the fire trying not to make this worse. There was nothing that I would enjoy more than to shout something at him too. I looked at Commander Mormont and he shook his head at me.

"What's your name?"

"Jon Snow."

"Snow, eh? Listen to me, bastard." I actually winced and groaned. "All you lot from south of the Wall, you're Southerners. But now you're in the North, the real North."

"The lad meant no harm," the Old Bear said, looking at Jon angrily.

"I catch that pretty little bastard talking to my daughters-"

"No one will talk to your daughters, you have my word. Now, sit down and shut your mouth."

Jon sat down grudgingly next to me and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was angry at him for doing something so stupid. We were in his territory now. It's was given that we could take him out like he was nothing, but that would start something that was unnecessary for our cause.

The Lord Commander and Craster, talked about the situation in the North and he found out that the wildlings were joining the King-Beyond-The-Wall, Mance Rayder. I didn't listen. It made me cringe at the thought of being like this. A slave. I promised myself I would never be a slave. If we were captured by wildlings I'd rather die than be like this.

"And I see this one is staring too long," I feel Jon tense up and sit straighter too. "I might just gouge his eyes out."

"Your roof, your rules."


	25. 25 Sweet Misery

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

After the Commander gave Jon a piece of his mind he turned to me and I shrunk inside the cloak.

"I hope you slap some sense into your friend unless you want him to become food for Craster's dogs." He walked past me and I walked to Jon, whose eyes were looking at the floor.

He looked up at me after a while and I hit him on the side of his head. Hard. He frowned and touched where I had just hit him. I did the same thing on the other side. I shook my head and turned around. I tried to walk away but someone had stood on my cloak and I turned to face him. Jon was frowning again and his boot was preventing me from moving.

"I'll hit you again!" I told him and he moved his foot. "Are you crazy?"

"He's a wildling," he whispered to me.

"Yes. He's also letting us stay here for the night. You would do well to remember whose territory you're in now."

We were catching some of the girl's attention, so we straightened up and walked towards one of the trees. We sat down and Jon gets Longclaw out and starts to lean against it. I sit next to him and just look around. I hear him whisper to me and I lean back against the bark.

"You can't tell me that you are fine with this." He pointed with his head to a pregnant young woman. She was younger than me. I turn to him and hit him in the head again. Softly this time. He turns to me and I turn back to the people walking by us.

"I would kill this man in his sleep if I could. Slit his throat and every part of him that I could get my hands on. This is filth what he does. What he's allowed to do to the girls. Given the chance I would just rescue them all," I whisper to him and I hear Jon take a breath and start to talk. "But, if I want to keep my head and my place in the Night's Watch, I'm not going to divulge these feelings to the man himself. He could've killed you right there. And Commander Mormont would've done nothing."

We both watch the women for a while in silence. They seemed somewhat happy. Probably this was the only thing they knew. They didn't know about free will or anything about the outside world. I had to look down at my hands. The women South of Wall weren't in any better state than these women right here. These women were slaves to their father, their husband. The women in Westeros were slaves to both, but they just didn't know it. These ones had that knowledge as soon as they could think for themselves.

"Bos," I heard Jon say and turned my head slightly to him. "We can't save them."

"I know. But for the love of the old gods and the new, keep calm," I told him.

Ghost joined us after a while and War came screaming down next to his four legged friend. They had this thing going on where the dire wolf would lay down on the snow and the eagle would land next to him and nest there. Me and Jon shook our heads and laughed.

"You know, you don't need to sharpen that thing," I told him when I heard the sharpening stone hitting the blade of Longclaw.

"It distracts me," he replied and I felt bad for saying anything.

"I could distract you," I joked and he looked back at me and shook his head. I managed to take off the mask quickly and had now replaced it with Jon's scarf.

"Shut up."

I watched as Sam and the girl that was inside the tent approached and nudged Jon.

"Trouble," I warned him.

"What are you doing?" Jon asked, stopping what he was doing and looked at the couple.

"This is Gilly," Sam said innocently. "She's one of Craster's...daughters."

"Oh Sam…" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You come North of the Wall and all your common sense just goes out of the window."

"Hello, Gilly," Jon greeted the girl and then turned back to Sam. "What are you doing?"

"Sam said you could help," she says softly.

"What do you need?" I asked and Jon gives me the shut up look and I bite my lip. Maybe it wasn't just the men that were losing all of their common sense.

"I'm sorry, but Sam knows we're not supposed-"

"She's pregnant," Sam cuts off the bastard and my eyes widen behind him.

"How old are you girl?" I asked her. She was smaller them me, and obviously younger.

"Fifteen." I looked at Jon angrily and I see his jaw set.

"We have to take her with us when we leave," Sam says.

"What? What would that-"

"I know it sounds a bit mad."

"No, it doesn't sound a bit mad, it's impossible!" Jon argued angrily.

"It's not—"

"Shut up Bos!" He flat out shouted at me and turned back to Sam. "The Lord Commander ordered us to-"

"We are sworn to protect," Sam said ending the discussion right then and there.

"Sam, we can't take…" Jon said his voice lower.

"Please, Ser, please," the younger girl said. "I can still run if I have to."

"It's just not possible." Jon wanted to lose this fight, you could hear it in his voice, but since the earlier discussion with Craster and Mormont he couldn't do much.

"I'm going to have a boy..." she trailed off and bit her lip.

"If it's a boy, what?" Jon asked, his interest piqued, but she stayed silent. "You want us to risk our lives for you and yet you won't even tell us why?" The girl widened her eyes and left. The three of us groaned for different reasons.

"Why'd you do that?" Sam asked his friend angrily.

"Do what? Ask her a question?" Jon countered still standing his ground.

"You were cruel," the chubby young man countered.

"Cruel?"

"And rude, slightly mad and also a bit rough," I added sitting back down and listened to the rest of their discussion in silence, but smiled when Sam said you couldn't steal a person and stifled a laugh when Jon said Mormont wouldn't let a girl go with us. The irony of it.

When Sam left Jon sat back down and we stayed silent for a while. I was thinking of the many ways we could disguise the girl to come with us, no one would notice another steward carrying the sledge. With the right cloak and armour she could come with us. If anything bringing the girl with us could have been the easiest task North of the Wall.

"Bos," I was shaken out of my plan by Jon's voice. "Don't." I frown questioning him silently. "I can hear the wheels in your head. Just leave it please."

"I'm not…" He turns to me suddenly, looks me straight in the eyes and I swallow, nodding. "Not thinking about it anymore."

"First you want me to stop arguing with the man, now you're thinking about stealing his daughter. That's really clever."

"What? At least when he finds out that she's gone we'd be far away from here, but with you biting at his ankles right under his nose, like you were before, he'll catch on early and we won't have a chance. Besides, I have delivered a baby before and it's not that difficult."

I heard him groan as I got up to grab my tent. It wasn't long until I had it up near the fire with Jon's tent on one side and Sam's on the other. The fire was warm near us but even with that when I slept it was far from restful.

At one point during the night I heard Jon get up and kneel next to me. I slept with the scarf wrapped around my face, something that wasn't unusual for the brothers because of the cold. I felt him move the scarf and I opened my eyes ready to kick some ass to the ground but relaxed when I saw it was him.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." He kissed my forehead and was gone.

I mistook it for a dream, so when I was awoken by shouts and yells from Craster, I wasn't expecting what I saw.


	26. 26 Breathe

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

I was awoken by Craster's loud rumblings and I stood up to see him drag one of the brothers by the back of his neck. At first it didn't faze me. I thought maybe someone was about to lose a hand, or something else. But when I saw the mane of black curls on the boy's head I ran after the wildling lord. What had Jon Snow done? I didn't know, but I was sure as hell going to find out.

"Out! All of you out!" Craster shouted as he stomped inside his main house, pushing Jon in front of him. "Bastard's been meddling where he shouldn't have been!" He kicked Jon's head and I jumped back. The sheer force of the blow had startled me.

I stood outside the house, my back straight, ready to either run or fight. I didn't care what had happened but Jon Snow wasn't going to lose a limb tonight. Not him or anyone else that was dressed in black. I took a tentative step inside the house.

"I want you and your men gone," Craster said as he walked in front of Commander Mormont, with Longclaw in his hand. "And you will make this right."

"Wait outside," Commander Mormont said without looking at anyone but Craster.

"Lord Commander," Jon pleaded and I took a step towards the kneeling man.

"Now!"

I took a step back and grabbed the back of his cloak, dragging him up and out of the house. I kept dragging him until I found a crate and sat him down on it. He tried to get up so I placed a foot near his crotch.

"If you want to keep it functioning sit the fuck down." He clenches his jaw but remains seated.

I grabbed a handful of ice and push it onto his face, angrily.

"What in the seven hells were you thinking?" I asked him grabbing more and more snow. Since I had a scarf around my face I made the mask into a make shift bucket of ice.

"I know what he does with the boys," he told me and I turned to face him. "He places them in the woods." I shook my head and pushed more ice onto his bloody face.

"You got us into all this trouble just to find out that he leaves his sons in the woods to die?" I placed my hands on my hips and fumed, "I could've told you that without even leaving the fucking tent!"

"He gives them to white walkers," he half shouted half whispered and I widened my eyes in shock.

"He hit you on the head harder than I thought."

It was only at this time that I actually saw the damage that had been done to him. His lip was bloody, like his nose. He had a cut on his temple and cheek. I couldn't be mad at him with him looking like that. I sighed and placed more snow on his face, this time more gently.

"I saw it," he said looking straight at me.

"It was dark Jon.," I countered cleaning the wound on his forehead. "You saw shadows of trees."

"Oh dear God," I hear Sam's voice behind me and turned to him. "What have they done to you?"

"Treated him to a fine dinner and cunt," I answered him rolling my eyes and Sam looked at me confused. "He beat the shit out of the man, obviously!"

Sam grabbed more ice and placed it on his face. We kept doing this until Lord Commander walked out of the house with Longclaw. He walked towards us. I could see smoke coming out of his ears. I took a step back. I knew the Old Bear wasn't going to harm him anymore then I would.

"Lord Commander," Sam said as he watched the man come towards us.

"Leave us." I turned my back but someone reaches for my arm quickly. "You stay. It seems he gains a little more sense when you're around. What did you do?"

"I followed him," Jon started. "He took the baby into the woods, the new born."

"What business is that of yours?"

"No, you don't understand. He's killing them, all the boys."

The Lord Commander's face changed. He went from angry to sombre but agreeable. I looked at Jon and then back at the Commander. It was hard to say what we wanted to say at that moment. We were too naive to think that this happening was something new to our old Lord Commander. But nevertheless it still hits us right in the face.

"You knew?" Jon finally said

"How can you let him?" I added. "They're just babies. It's cruel."

"The wildlings serve crueller Gods than you or I. Those boys are Craster's offerings," Commander Mormont told us.

"Offerings? He's murdering his own children. He's a monster."

I don't remember what was going through my mind at the time, but I remember words being caught in my throat. The Old Bear, who I've owed everything to, who I've respected more than anyone else knew about the slaughter of innocent children, and did nothing about it.

"Aye, many a time that monster has been the difference between life and death for our Rangers. Your uncle among them."

"I'd rather die of cold and starvation than spend one more minute here willingly," I spat at no one in particular.

"We have other wars to fight out there. Like it or not, we need men like Craster."

I had had enough. The knowledge I had learned that night had been too much for me. I couldn't look at the old man in the face anymore. At that time everything the Night's Watch meant to me; honour and protection, were slowly fading away. Our own Commander knew about the young blood being spilled on the snow North of the Wall and did nothing about it. In my head, any brother of the Night's Watch that knew about something like this would come running here to cut his throat. We needed him as much as we needed ice on The Wall. The answer being not at all.

I walked to my tent and sat down. I saw Sam rustling next to me, but don't acknowledge him. I heard him speak but it didn't register in my mind. When morning rose I found myself walking to the Fist of The First Men (need to check this) silently. We walked for two days. And for those two days I didn't speak. As I stood on top of the mountain I tried to let what had happened in Craster's Keep go. The snow under my feet melted slowly.

"You need to breathe," I heard Jon say behind me. "And talk. We're starting to think you have lost your tongue along the way."

"I don't think I can," I replied looking down at my feet. "He knew Jon." Silence. "He knew about children being killed and did nothing."

"He can't do anything."

"He's Lord Commander. He can make arrows rain down on that keep."

"Ann," I straighten at the sound of my name and turn to him. "He must do what's best for his men." I can see on his face he was trying to convince me as much as he's trying to convince himself.

I shook my head but said nothing else. In the end, and deep down inside I knew Jon Snow was right. Mormont couldn't start a war with a wildling that could be called an ally. But at the same time it all seemed too savage to accept.


	27. 27 Uninvited

Sorry for the delay my dearies! Life and it's nuisances got in the way.

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

Anha Jinne! - I'm here!

Khaleesi thir – Queen alive?

Zhavvorsa – Dragon

Ezat Ser Jorah, dik! - Find Ser Horah, fast!

**Present**

* * *

"I think you should go to sleep now," I yawn as I ended the story and walk towards my bed. "Tomorrow we have more begging to do."

"I'm not begging Nizho!" she shouts at me and I turn to face her to see that she is stood with her hands on her hips. "I'm a queen. We don't beg we…"

"Ask gently?" I raise an eyebrow and she rolls her eyes.

"Just go to sleep."

"Yes Khaleesi."

I sleep soundly, without any dreams and wake up with one of Dany's dragons chirping next to my ear. I sit on the bed and watch as the dragon flies away. Getting up from the bed I stretch and see Dany already up and waiting for me.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I ask her frowning, as I wash my face. I hadn't bothered undressing yesterday. My leather clothes were comfortable enough to sleep in.

"We have time, my friend." She shrugs and turns to grab the dragons placing them inside their wooden cages. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

I grab my braided hair and un-braid some of the sagging braids out of my hair as Dany groans.

"I need to braid your hair again, when we get back. Remind me to do so." I grin and nodded, grabbing my swords from the table next to the dragons.

"Let's go my queen. There are more nobles in this city than in all of Westeros."

"And we have to beg them all."

We look at each other and laugh as we walk down the stairs to the parlour. Kovarro is already waiting with Xaro.

"Shall we go my ladies?" Xaro asks and the Khaleesi nods going to walk by his side.

We had walked through the city all day, stopping only to eat and drink something. The heat was unforgivable, the afternoon sun beating down on us. As we walked from one noble house to the next Dany had asked me to go to the last house we were to visit and warn the owner to be ready for her arrival. I could tell she was sick and tired of waiting in courtyards for men to come and tell her that they wouldn't help her.

I had been turning a corner when I bumped into a wall, that hadn't been there. I looked around and was now in the end of a narrow street. I had tried to move but the more I did the further away the entrance of the street seemed to be.

"You must stop and accept what you've become to leave this narrow path you've encountered."

I was now standing face to face with one of warlocks from the house of the undying. I frown and turn away only to find myself in front of his twin.

"It's not easy to become what you've become," he told me.

"To be what you are," the one behind me said.

"And if you two want to keep existing I would let me out of this dream you've made," I shout at him and he smiles, his blue teeth showing.

"Magic is a funny thing don't you think?" One asked.

"It is also very fragile."

"And picky."

"Yes, not many people can live with magic twirling inside their heads."

I was starting to get a headache, but apart from that I was also starting to become angry.

"Many don't." The blue man had multiplied and I was now surrounded by several replicas of him.

"But some…" He points one of his blue fingertips. "Some are just born with the right mind."

"I like your riddles, but I have more important things to do than stand here and listen to you lot." I clenched my teeth, and realized that I was scared and angry, but my breathing had stopped. I couldn't feel my chest heaving. With the amount of anger I'm feeling I would be inhaling air like I was drowning.

"Your heart isn't beating either, child," I hear one of the men from my side tell me as if he had heard my thoughts.

"You have become quite the frozen artefact."

"You should come and pay us a visit."

"We could help you with this new accomplishment." The one that stands in front of me touches my forehead with one of his fingers and before I black out I hear him say, "Can you hear them shout for you, under the ice?"

When I open my eyes I see the people of Qarth surrounding me. I am on the dirt floor under a shaded stand. My head is throbbing. I hear people talking and whispering but I can't make out what they are saying.

"Give her some space!" A woman's voice shouts above all of the others and I see its owner walk to me, a jug in her hand. She kneels next to me and offers me the jug. "Drink dear."

I smell it and take a drink, when I feel the cold water in my mouth I swallow it in one gulp. All of a sudden I had become very thirsty.

"It's the heat child," the woman explained as she helped me up. "A pale thing like you isn't made for this kind of sun."

"I have to find Daenerys Stormborn."

"The savage queen?" I nod and she yells for one of her sons to go to Xaro's house and see if the savage queen is there.

"No," I tell her feeling a little steadier on my feet than I was before. "I know where she is. I can go to her."

"Nonsense child." She pushes me down onto one the benches behind the stand, which I deduce is hers. "My son will tell the queen you're here. I think you have had enough sun for today."

I sat on the bench for the rest of my stay there. The dream I had from before the blackout swirled around inside my head. It had been a dream, I hoped. But somehow, it had felt so real. I could remember the smell of the men's breath as they talked to me and their hot touch. But what I really remembered in detail was their words. People who are born with the power of having magic within them. I know of stories about witches and wizards, but knowing the recent discovery about what I could be I don't think that's what they were talking about.

I hear a man's voice shout from the beginning of the market and I recognize it. I get up and shout back at him. Kovarro had come to get me. Why not Dany I wondered.

"Kovarro! Anha Jinne!" I see him running to me urgently and I frown. His hands are bloody. "Khaleesi thir?"

"Yes," he tells me in his broken accent. "Zhavvorsa…gone."

My eyes widened and we both ran as fast as we could to Xaro's home. When we arrive, the smell of blood overwhelms me. The courtyard is filled with the bodies of Dothraki warriors. Throats slit, and a multitude of stab wounds cover their bodies.

"Khaleesi?" I ask Kovarro and he points to the bedroom.

I walk into the room and see the young blond girl kneeling next to Irri, one of her maids. She's dead. I look at the dragon's cages. Empty. Ser Jorah is nowhere to be seen. I look at the courtyard to see Kovarro and the surviving Dothraki warriors piling up the bodies and yell for him.

"Kovarro," he looks up at me. "Ezat Ser Jorah, dik!" He nods and runs from the courtyard.

I walk towards the queen and kneel next to her.

"Dany," I whisper to her and she sobs.

"Have you seen what they've done?" She asks me, looking at the body of her maid.

"Yes."

"They killed my khalasar!" She looks at me and I see the tears, but they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of rage. "They killed my friend! And they stole my dragons!" She shouted the last part.

"We'll find them," I tell her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh, we'll find them. And we'll kill them. I want their heads served on a plate for my children to eat," she tells me angrily and I nod.

"It shall be done." I help her up and walk her to the small stone basin to wash her blood covered hands.

"I want them dead Nizho," she says. "I want them all dead for even daring to think about stealing my dragons."

"Do you know who it was?" I ask her drying her soaked hands. She shakes her head. "Alright. We'll find them. I swear to you we'll find them."

No matter what I was, beating heart or not. Dead or alive, this woman had saved my life. She had given me her trust and friendship. She had told me that no matter what I was she would be with me. She was more than my friend. She was my blood. She was my sister and those were her children. I'll be damned if I didn't get them back.

Ser Jorah's steps echoed inside the room and we both get up from our place on the bed. Dany stood up and I mimic her. He stands near the stone windows and takes a step back when he sees the dragon cages are empty.

"Do you know anything?" he asks.

"Irri is dead," she says sadly.

"I know—"

"She's dead. She died alone. She died for me and I couldn't protect her."

"Doreah?" he asks and I shake my head.

"Dead too probably…or worse," I answer.

"We can't find her," Dany adds. "I led my people out of the Red Waste and into the slaughterhouse."

Ser Jorah looks at me and then at the door and I nod. Between me and him he has a better chance of calming her down. I'm feeding off of her anger and by now, after watching her cry and make death threats for whoever betrayed her it had made me angrier.

"I'll be down in the courtyard," I announce as I take my leave.

I sit on a stone bench and wait for quite a while, the smell of blood doesn't bother me anymore, and the beating sun was nothing but a nuisance. I look at the red patterns on the floor as Ser Jorah runs down the steps. I get up as he reaches me.

"What do we do?" I ask him.

"I'm going to find who has her dragons." He walks away and I run behind him.

"And what about me?" He turns back angrily and points upstairs.

"You are going to run up those steps and stand guard while I find the thief. Gather every blade you have and wait for my instructions," he says as he places his hand on my shoulder. "I have a feeling we might need whatever you have inside of you to get them back."


	28. 28 Where Did You Go?

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

Innava – Sister

* * *

**Present**

I nod and run upstairs. Dany is pacing up and down the room and I sigh.

"You should rest," I tell her leaning into one of the stone pillars.

"I won't rest until I have my dragons back. Until I'm safe, until we're safe," she tells me and keeps pacing.

"Have you seen the size of my sword? I'm sure we're safe for now." She turns to me and her anger finally turns to sadness as she walks towards me and hugs me. "It's alright." I can feel her cry softly. "They're dragons. I'm sure nothing will happen to them."

"They're baby dragons," she cries and I lay my head on top of hers.

"We'll find them soon enough, Dany. I've never seen so much determination in Ser Jorah's eyes before." She looks up at me and I grin. "And between me and you, we will fucking tear this city apart until we find your dragons." She smiles. "Nothing can stop us Khaleesi." She nods sadly and turns away from me.

"Nothing can stop us, innava." I smile at her and sit on the window ledge. "But I won't rest."

"Fine. Then at least sit down. You'll make a hole in the floor the way you're pacing up and down." I see her look at the floor and walk to where I'm sat, sitting down in front of me.

"Where were you?" she asks me and I look at her surprised.

"Huh…" I decide not to tell her about the dream but be honest about the black out. "Apparently the Qarth sun got to me."

"Really? We were in whatever his name was's house and when we got to the one you were supposed to be waiting at, you were nowhere to be found. I thought you might have come back here, but then I got back and saw this and…" she looked at the place where Irri's body had been. "Not that I wasn't worried about you. I was, but…the dragons were gone…and…" she trailed off.

"It's alright Dany," I smile. "I'm alright. You know us northerners. We complain about the cold but we can't handle the sun."

"Even more so with your condition." I look up at her questioningly. "Sorry. I know you don't like to talk about what you might be but in all honesty you should just accept that you're something far from ordinary."

"Because my eye colour has changed?"

"No! Not just because of that." She took a deep breath. "You travelled from Westeros to the edge of the Red Waste. Can you remember anything about that?" I shake my head. "Your body was half charred by fire. I've seen men with lesser wounds than that perish. So, unless you're a Targaryen, which I'm sorry to tell you that you're not, you somehow got half burnt and still made it here. You've learnt skills that even I haven't acquired from the Dothraki as quickly as if you had been taught from birth."

"I weaved a few baskets and sewed a few clothes."

"Yes. But not even I sew my own clothes."

"You're the Khaleesi. I don't think you're even allowed to sew."

"And last but not least," she points her finger at me. "You were attacked North of The Wall, by White Walkers and you're here to tell the story. The burns, if treated properly I understand that you will survive which you have so far. But survive an encounter with the White Walkers and live to tell the tale." She shakes her head. "You may not be a White Walker and you're definitely not a wight, you're wounds have healed, you're sane…but you have to be something else. I'm sorry to tell you this, Innava, but you are not entirely human."

I clench my jaw and look down at my hands. Now that she had given me her point of view, it seems that my situation started to become clearer. I may not be dead, but I am not entirely alive.

"I can't—"

"Dragons were extinct, now they're not," she says simply and I look up at her. "Just because something seemingly ceases to exist, doesn't mean it can't be born again. We may not know what you have inside of you, but it's not impossible. And it doesn't make you any less of what you are. You haven't become a traitor, or a killer. You haven't hurt me or any of my own. I have come to like you. I can see kindness in your eyes. The dead have no kindness."

"Some of the living have no kindness in them either."

"Exactly! Which makes you more than them. You need to accept what you are. I don't think there's any way around it."

I'm about to answer her when Ser Jorah runs up the stairs and tells us to follow him. He has found the thief. We walk inside one of Xaro's many rooms and see him sitting down at the head of a half circle table. Sitting there are also the Thirteen. As soon as we enter everyone stares at us. I stand behind Dany, one hand on my main sword and another on one of the smaller swords on my back. As soon as I see one of the warlocks from the house of the Undying in the room it takes all of my self-control to not lunge at him.

"I did not leave the comfort of my home to come to yours and be called a thief," the Spice King says clearly annoyed.

"No one is calling you a thief, "Xaro replies.

"Who is she to accuse us?"

"Please, they're my children." Dany replies. "I'm begging you."

"Begging us?" Another member of the council counters. "It wasn't very long ago that you were threatening us."

"Without me, the dragons will die," the queen pleads.

"It will be for the best. Your dragons will bring the world nothing but death and misery, my dear. If I knew where they were, I still would not tell you."

"You are cruel, my friend," the bald man counters and I tighten my grip on my smaller sword. "The mother of dragons is right. She must be reunited with her babies." He turns to her. "I will help you, Khaleesi."

"How?"

"I will take you to the House of the Undying," and that's when my mind starts reeling. There's no way I'm letting her place a foot inside that Tower, "where I have put them." And that's when my swords come out. Ready and waiting.

"You have my dragons?"

"When I learned you were coming to our city, I made an arrangement with the King of Qarth." I take a step near Dany and sign to Kovarro to stay where he is. "He procured them for me."

"But there is no King of Qarth," Dany shouts, confused.

"There is now." Xaro stands and I start wishing I had another hand. "That was the other half of the arrangement. You would keep your gates and your minds closed to everything outside your walls," I have a feeling we might be either fighting or running any time soon, since the warlock walks behind Xaroso I place myself slightly in front of Dany "but Qarth cannot remain the greatest city that ever was if it refuses to change. I will open Qarth to the world as I have forced it to open itself to me."

Behind me Daenerys' breathing has become elaborate and I tense up. Looking back I can see she's alright, but fuming.

"Your ambition is an inspiration. But like all upstarts, you overreach. Three dragons the size of cats and an alliance with a charlatan do not make you a king," the Spice King laughs at him and I start pushing Dany even more behind me.

"An upstart and a charlatan? Empires have been built by less. Those on the margins often come to control the centre, and those in the centre make room for them, willingly or otherwise."

"The Mother of Dragons will be with her babies." He turns to us. "She will give them her love and they will thrive by her side...forever."

The scene before us makes us gasp before our minds actually registers what is happening. The warlock had multiplied and had cut the throats of all the members of the council. When the creepy man looks back at us I shout at Dany.

"Run!"

The three of us run to the nearest exit but we are stopped by one of the murderer's. Kovarro who had been in front of us places himself between the man and the queen. But a sword carves itself into the blue man's chest and he looks surprised.

"A mother should be with her children," he says before vanishing into thin air as another one appears behind me.

"Where will you run to, Daenerys Stormborn?" I take both of my swords and cut his head off, but he vanishes too before the head hits the floor.

"Your dragons wait for you in the House of the Undying. Come see them." Another appears further away from us.

Ser Jorah grabs her arm and the four of us run to the street and only stop when we reach the garden where the first party had took place. We stood there the four of us discussing what to do. Khaleesi wouldn't leave without the dragons and Ser Jorah wouldn't leave without the Khaleesi. And I, as sure as the sun would rise again tomorrow, wasn't going to leave without killing some of those warlock bastards. It was decided. Our next destination: the House of the Undying.

"I remember how it happened," I tell Dany as we start our journey to the Tower.

"What?" she asks.

"I remember the attack…"


	29. 29 One of Us

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

Not long before we arrived at the Fist, another group of brothers were already there, one blast of The Wall's horn informing us of their arrival. They had seen a wildling camp and were in need of some rangers.

"Bos." I rushed to the Commander's side from my place further behind him. "Grab your things. You're going with Qhorin."

I turned and grabbed my satchel and sword, the other smaller blades never leaving their place on my back. I heard Jon asking to go with us and Sam saying he'd take place as the Commander's steward until we got back. I looked down and walked towards Qhorin's men. Jon was already sheathing Longclaw on his belt.

The wind was picking up as we walked down from the Fist. The snow was soft and each step that we took we sank deeper and deeper into it. There were six of us; me, Jon, Qhorin and two other brothers that I'd never met before. Ghost had disappeared in the snow as War was screaming above us.

"We could just kill the damn bird and be done with it. There would be no more screeching and it would make a nice dinner," one of the unknown brothers said pointing upwards at War. "I'm pretty handy with a bow."

"And I'm pretty good with a sword," I told him as I passed by. I walked backwards never leaving his gaze. "If you want to make it to dinner I'd keep your mouth shut about the eagle." I called for War and he came flying towards me, landing on my outstretched arm.

"A direwolf and an eagle. Has Castle Black become a farm now?" Qhorin asked from the front of the group.

"We take every creature we can get our hands on," I replied. "Since we're short on men."

"Aye, I bet between these two, the wildlings will die of fear." I looked at the older man. "Imagine hearing that thing screech in the middle of the night in your ears, only to wake up to a direwolf growling in your face."

"We do what we can," Jon says from behind us.

Qhorin took the lead once more while me and Jon walked behind him. I let the eagle go and he soared through the cold, blue sky. I turned slightly to look at Jon and bumped my shoulder into his.

"So, you're finally a Ranger," I joked.

"It took long enough," Jon countered. His face was still a mess with scratches and bruises from Craster's beating. But he still looked as handsome as he had before the attack. If anything I thought that it gave him more character.

"You had to come north of the Wall with me didn't you?" I shook my head. "The steward who became a ranger."

"It happens," his voice dropped to a whisper. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good."

"You're not hurt. Do you need another scarf? Are you cold?" He was worrying and I found it endearing.

"No. Well I'm cold, but where we are that's normal."

"No frostbite?"

"No father, no frostbite. What about you? Are you healing alright?" He groaned at this.

"I never knew that an old man could give a beating as hard as Craster can. If I could I'd just roll in the snow."

"Poor little bastard is all hurt inside." I ruffled his hair and he gave me a half smile. He started to look around.

"Where's Ghost?" The wolf had been wandering above us on some snow ledges. I pointed towards him and Jon groaned. "Ghost, stay with us. Ghost!"

"There goes your pet. Men, we've just lost another valuable member of the pack," Qhorin joked and I turned to Jon.

"Don't worry. He's a big boy."

"He's not a pet," Jon snapped at Qhorin who just snickered.

"You're right, he's not," he started, as me and Jon listened to what he was saying. "You can't tame a wild animal. You can't trust a wild animal."

"Ghost is different."

"So you think. Wild creatures have their own rules, their own reasons. And you'll never know them. Now the wildlings we're looking for sleep during the day and hunt at night."

"I thought you said you couldn't understand wild things," Jon argued with the older man.

"I said you can't." I laughed quietly at Qhorin's tone as he continued with what he was saying about the wildlings. "They find a nice cave to hide in while the sun's up and do their killing when it's dark."

"That's smart. The dark is when it's colder," I told them.

"We could do the same," Jon agreed.

"No, we couldn't," Qhorin argued. "This is their country. They know where to walk, where not to walk. I've lost good men who fell into a crevasse they didn't see until they were in it."

"My father always said 'I'm of the North," Jon countered and Qhorin laughed. "I wasn't joking."

"Look around you, boy. Does this look like home to you? You start thinking you know this place, it'll kill you. Do you understand me?"

"No, you don't," one of the brothers added from behind me and I had to agree with him this time. We didn't know where we were even stepping in the full light of day, let alone when there's nothing to illuminate us but the moon.

"We're at war," Qhorin continued." We've always been at war. It's never going to end because we're not fighting an enemy. We're fighting the North and it's not going anywhere. The Watch has given you a great gift. You only have one thing to give in return - your life."

"I'll gladly give my life." Before I could counter those wonderful words that came out of Jon's mouth Qhorin had already grabbed him by his fur cloak.

"I don't want you to be glad about it," he said. "I want you to curse and fight until your heart's done pumping. And know this, boy - your death will be a gift for them south of the Wall. They'll never know what you've done. They'll never know how you died. They won't even know your damn name, but they'll be alive because some nameless bastard north of the Wall gave his life for theirs."

"If I ever go down north of the Wall, I'm taking some of them with me, let me tell you that," I added and Qhorin smiled.

"Now, do you understand me?" he asked Jon.

"I do," Jon replied solemnly.

"You're even dumber than you look. It's just words, boy, to keep us a little warmer in the night, make us feel like we've got a purpose. Come on. We've got to find these goat fuckers before night falls and they find us."

They kept walking and I waited for Jon to catch up.

"I'll still take some of them with me if you don't mind Lord Qhorin," I said as Jon finally caught up with us.

"By all means, brother, be my guest! Take as many of them as you can."

We kept walking another kilometre or two, until we started to smell a fire burning.

"Alright boys, take no prisoners," Qhorin instructed. "We wait for the arrow and then we attack."

We rounded the clearing where the wildlings were and we waited, hugging the rocks getting closer and closer. I stood near a rock where one of the wildlings was sitting; I grabbed my smaller knives silently and waited. When the arrow hit one of the wildlings I stood up as quickly as I could and slashed the wildling's throat. Jumping to the clearing, I ran as I saw one of them escape, Jon was veering him towards me and I was ready to slash his throat when he knocked into me. Although the plan seemed flawless as soon as I saw the face of the wildling I took a step back, leaving Jon to grab the wildling from the floor and pushed the savage into a rock.

He looked up at me when he saw the girl that was hiding under the hood. Jon looked down again and I walked to his side. She had red hair and blue eyes. A fierce expression was plastered on her face as she glared at us.

"A girl," Jon stated.

"A wildling."

"We could question her." Jon was giving me sly side looks but I couldn't keep my eyes off of the woman. She was a wildling, she couldn't live. She was a woman, she seemed like a fighter. We couldn't kill her.

"She would be more useful to us if we let her live," I added.

"You could. She won't answer though. I've known a wildling to bite off his tongue instead of talking."

"What's your name?" Jon asked.

"Ygritte."

"She was reaching for this axe when you got to her," Qhorin said picking up an axe that was lying near our feet. I'd be picking up that axe too if I had seen Jon Snow coming for me. "Give her half a chance; she'll bury it in your face."

"I gave you my name. It is only right that you give me yours in return."

"I'm Jon Snow."

"You ought to burn the ones you killed," the girl said.

"We'd need a big fire for that," Qhorin countered. "Tell me, Ygritte, why do you want us to build a big fire? Are there some more friends of yours in the area?"

"Burn them or maybe you'll need those swords again," she was talking about the wights.

"Our boys here have already killed one dead man. They can do it again if they have to. What waits beyond the pass?"

"The Free Folk."

"How many?" Qhorin asked.

"Hundreds and thousands," she answered smiling. "More than you've ever seen, crow."

"Why come to the mountains? What's in the Frostfangs that your king could possibly want?" She looked at all of us, I looked down at the snow. Somehow in the back of my mind I thought that if she took a good look at me she'd know I was a woman too. "Do you mean to march on the Wall? Do you know who I am, girl?"

"Qhorin Halfhand," she answered.

"Tell me the truth. If your people captured me, would they take me prisoner?"

"They'd take your head off your shoulders if they were feeling kind," she threatened. "If not, they'd kill you slow."

"We have no food for her," Qhorin stated. "Can't spare a man to watch her." I almost volunteered but one look from Jon and I kept my mouth shut. Had I not known better I would say that man knew every thought going through my head. "Can't let her go. She'll bring Mance Rayder's army down on us. It needs to be done. Shall I do it?" Qhorin unsheathed his sword and me and Snow yelled no at the same time. I bit my lip and took a step back letting Jon handle this one.

"No, I'll do it," he said.


	30. 30 Hang On

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Past**

"Come, brothers. We'll leave him to it. We'll meet you at the top. Don't take too long. We're deep in their country now."

I took my time and let them walk up the ledge. When they were out of hearing range I walked back to Jon and looked at the woman and then back at him. My breathing was elaborated and my jaw was clenched. Would she have this kind of reaction if it was the other way around? I looked at the ground and sighed.

"Bos!" he shouted. "Go on. I'll be right up." Was he really going to be capable of killing her?

I looked straight in her eyes and something seemed to click in them. My feelings had been right. We girls can smell each other from afar. There was a mixture of emotions on her face from anger, to confusion, to pleading back to anger again.

"Bos!" I was startled by Jon's voice. "Go!"

I turned and started up the ledge silently. When I got on the top of the ledge Qhorin was leaning on a rock, looking downwards. We stood silent for a while, waiting, ready to jump down the ledge if need be.

"There's no honour in killing a woman," Qhorin stated. "But if it has to be done, you should make it fast."

After a few moments I started to have a sinking feeling in my stomach. Longclaw was sharp, the girl had been held, her head was going nowhere, and Jon was strong enough to kill the woman with one strike. This was taking too long. I took one look at Qhorin's face and jumped down to where they should have been and neither of them were there.

I ran up the hill again and shook my head at the older man. He cursed at the wind and growls, furious.

"You two go to the Fist's and warn the Lord Commander about this." He pointed to the two unknown brothers and then turned to me. "You think you can have that pet of yours track him down?" He pointed to the sky and I nodded. "Good, do it. I'm going to run around this area, he might be able to escape and come back."

I called War and whispered his name to the eagle. The eagle took off flying towards the rocks and I followed him. I ran as fast as I could. Somewhere between stopping to look for War and to inhale some air I shed my satchel and cut the furry part off of my cloak. The mask and the scarf were long gone too. There were only two things on my mind; find Jon, kill Ygritte. I repeated these words in my head with each step I took. The sun was coming down and on one of my last stops I saw a black figure on top of some rocks. It was looking straight at me, it's eyes shining.

I took off running faster, looking back every so often to see more and more shadows behind me. I told myself it was from the running. I had never ran so fast in my life and for that amount of time too. The sun had almost set and I knew there was no way I would survive the night unless I took some time to make a small fire, but that would attract wildlings, and I wasn't stopping for that long until I found Jon.

Without warning I heard a howl in the distance and looked in the direction it was coming from. I saw two familiar silhouettes and shouted out to them.

"Jon!" One of the figures looked at me and waved. I sighed smiling. I climbed up the small ledges but not before looking back at the path I had covered before. I could see them clearly now and hurried up the rocks. I grabbed Jon's hand on the top of the ledge and hugged him as soon as I was standing. Tiredness took over me but then I remembered the shiny eyes that followed me and let him go.

"We need to go." I started walking towards Ygritte who was now lying on the ground wrapped up in rope.

"We need to stay. You heard Qhorin; we can't go wandering in the night."

I looked up at him and grabbed the girl pushing her until she was sitting up against a rock.

"Thank you," she told me and I growled at her. "Can you loosen the ropes on my legs, too?"

"If I survive the night I'll behead you myself, so shut up if you want to see one last sunrise." I get up as she says something about me being her kind of girl.

"You need to grab her and run away from here," I told him grabbing some ice and eating it. It was cold but it was water.

"No! It's safe in here," he tells me again.

"The white walker followed me here." I heard Ygritte take a deep breathe.

"Maybe we should do what the girlie's saying," she yelled from where she was and we both shouted for her to be quiet.

"It was your imagination," he said and looked me in the eyes, grabbing my face. "You've been running since when? Probably for half of the day. You're tired."

I pushed him away and shook my head. This was going to be done the hard way.

"Jon, I'm ordering you to take the girl and run." He frowned.

"Ordering me?" His jaw clenched and his eyes were filled with confusion.

"You've been a ranger for five hours; I've been one for weeks now. I outrank you. I'm ordering you to go." I walk towards the ledge and now there are three pairs of blue eyes shining in the dark.

"Fine. Let's go." He grabbed the girl's ropes and pushed her. "Come on."

"You go ahead. I'll be right there."

I heard the girl humph as he threw her back into a rock and I heard his steps coming towards me. He grabbed my arm and turned me to look at him.

"You ran for half of the day to find me and now you're letting me go, to do what? Fight white walkers?" he shouted in my face angrily.

"I ran for half of the day to find you. I found you. You're alive. You have your sword and you have your prisoner. You're not injured, she's still bound. Kill her, find Qhorin. I'm moving on to fight bigger problems now," I shouted back at him.

"It's suicide," he argued and I nodded.

"It's giving you enough time to run though," I told him honestly. "I told Qhorin I wouldn't go down alone. I'm going for it."

"Their white walkers, girlie. They won't go down!" Ygritte shouts from her place against the rock.

I had had enough of this stupid discussion and climbed back down the hill. I didn't hear Jon's steps behind me so I continued forward, taking out both of my smaller blades. The plan was to grab their attention and run. Hopefully I'd find my way back. I mean, they hadn't attacked me before and they could have. Maybe they were just watching. I only wanted to take their attention away from Jon. In the back of my mind I knew this was suicide. The small voice in the back of my head told me this was reckless, that I was going to die right there and then. But another part of me told me I was going to make it through this. Somehow in the North things didn't usually go as they were supposed to. So I might just escape this with just a bump and a bruise. Or a few bruises for that matter.

I could see them walking towards me, I took several deep breaths and I heard footsteps behind me so I swung my blade around only to be face to face with Jon Snow. I wanted to scream and yell at him, but I couldn't, I was already too angry at everything to add yelling at him some more. I turned around and concentrated on the mythical creatures that were standing in front of us. As they stepped out of the shadows we stood silently entranced. They looked regal. They walked tall and swiftly. There were four of them. They were the most beautiful beings I had ever seen. I was startled when they stopped a few metres away from me and Jon. One of the beings pointed to us and said something in a language I didn't understand, and from behind him a pack of wights came walking out of the darkness.

I cut the head off of the first one that approached me, but when he kept coming towards me I cut his arms and legs off too. I saw Jon fighting another wight in the same manner. They wouldn't die, but they could be stopped. They couldn't walk if they had no legs or scratch if they had no hands. We kept this fight going for a while, but we were soon overrun. I was taking blow after blow and so was Jon. One of the wights had a blade and he had managed to cut my arm, which made me lose a blade. Another one had thrust a spear towards my stomach but I had moved at the last moment and it had just nicked my side. I ran to Jon cutting at the wights as I went. We found each other in the middle of the massacre and looked to the beings in front of us.

From behind them more wights came and by now I knew we were done for. Between exhaustion and blood loss we were going down.

"You need to go," Jon told me, standing by my side, I shook my head.

There was something that I was enjoying in this whole ordeal. I was half covered in black blood. I had cuts on my skin that stung every time I moved. My head was bleeding from a wight attack, I could barely breathe. But my heart was pumping and my brain had entered a dark place where I was rejoicing at each detached member. Every time my blade would cut through yet another wight limb, my brain would get a shock that would make me cut down even more.

"We're not winning the battle."

"I don't care." These were the last words I heard come from my own mouth.

The next thing I saw was a bright silver point of a blade trespassing my chest. As the blade leaves my body I hear someone whisper something from behind me. Something I couldn't understand. Something that didn't register in my mind. Something that made me smile as my body fell to the ground.

It took me a while to finally stop fighting the blackness, but I did when I saw Jon's body fall next to mine, his eyes looking at me blinking. He whispered something to me but I took it upon myself to not respond.

"Stay." This was the last word I heard coming out of his mouth

Death overcame my body. So peaceful and cold. I kept wondering when I would stop thinking or dreaming. But, now that I think about it, it never came. The calmness of death was substituted by sounds of horses and the heat of the sun.

That's when you found me.


	31. 31 Dark Paradise

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Present**

"So that's how you fell?" She asks and I nod, shrugging.

"After that point I don't remember anything else," I tell her walking towards some stone steps in front of a tall tower.

"So the white walkers killed you," she says. "With a sword through the chest." She stops and looks at the building in front of us and I do the same.

The House of the Undying wasn't spectacular like every other noble building in Qarth; it was actually quite plain in comparison. But it was impressive. The tower was made with white stone; it was almost as tall as the Wall. There were no windows that we could see.

Kovarro said something in Dothraki but no one answers him, we keep walking until we reach the tower and I confirm that there are no doors either.

"Is this a riddle?" Daenerys says and starts to round the tower. "Annora!" she shouts and I run to keep up with her.

I see and hear Ser Jorah walk behind us. We keep walking and walking, trying to find a door, but all we see is a stone hole in the wall, it's small enough for us to squeeze through.

"Come," Dany says as she enters the hole and I follow.

Once inside, darkness envelops us, the place where the hole should be is gone. I touch the wall behind me and feel only stone.

"We're trapped," I say.

"We're exactly where we should be," she answers me as she grabs a torch from the wall.

I try to unsheathe one of my swords, but it doesn't move from it's place on the harness. I pull at both of them but they seem to be glued in the sheath.

"Dany." She turns to me. "My swords are stuck." I move my hands so she can see my movement trying to take the swords out.

"It only means we won't need blades."

I stop trying to pull the swords out and walk behind her, the torch being the only thing that illuminates our path. We walk for what seems like an eternity until Dany stops and screams at no one.

"Are you trying to frighten me with magic tricks? You want me? Here I am. Are you afraid of a little girl?"

At the sound of her voice we hear the dragons scream further away from us, she turns the torch towards the sound and we see some stone steps. Dany looks at me and we both nod at the same time. The steps never seem to end but the cries seem to be closer from every step that we take.

We encounter a wooden door and I instinctively reach for my back swords, but then I remember they seem to be stuck. Still I try to unsheathe them, but to no avail. They were still glued inside to the leather that protects them.

Dany opens the door and we step inside the room. It's circular and in the walls there are wooden doors similar to the one we have just entered through. The Khaleesi moves the torch and we find that every door is closed, she walks towards one of the doors and I start to follow. I try to, but my first step doesn't hit the floor as a searing pain takes over me and I fall to the ground. I feel Dany's hand on my shoulder but the pain doesn't stop.

"Go!" I tell her. "Find them."

"I'll come back for you." I nod and I hear her walk back to the door.

The pain that started in my head is now striking all of my body. It feels like a thousand needles are stabbing me. My right side, the side that has the scars feels like it's melting away from my body. I can hear a strange chanting in my head. The chanting is in a language I don't understand, it isn't Dothraki, and yet it doesn't feel like it is the first time I have heard that dialect. It is strange but yet familiar.

I could hear light footsteps surrounding me and I try to look up. The world surrounding me has become a bright shade of blue, even though the room should be black. I see no one but suddenly a hole in the ceiling opens and lets a pale light slither through it. It lights the stone table and I see the three baby dragons chained to it. I try to get up but my legs aren't following the orders my brain is giving to them. The dragons see me and start crying. I keep my head up and I hear another door open.

I sigh in relief as Dany walks inside the room. The dragons shift their gaze to their mother and start complaining to her like any children would. She looks at me and I look at her. She contrasts with the whole room as she looks orange in the middle of my blue hue sight. I hear her heart beat and suddenly five different heart beats reach my ears.

"Nizho?" she asks me but nothing leaves my mouth.

I have a sudden urge to get up and rip her open, but I fight it. Images of her dead body cross my mind. First headless, then with her throat slit. All that ends with the sensation that I was the one that did it. And I felt happy to feel her blood on my hands. I fight against the images and focus on the heart beats. I need to kill something…soon…

I hear the light footsteps again but this time I see the blue bald men enter the room. I focus my eyes on them and every instinct that told me to kill Dany was now aiming to kill the men.

"They miss their mother," one says. "They want to be with you."

"Do you want to be with them?" asks another.

"You will be."

Both me and the dragons hiss at them.

The strange animal noise that comes out of my mouth sounds unnatural.

"When your dragons were born, our magic was born again."

"It is strongest in their presence. And they are strongest in yours." The voices sound all the same and I keep trying to make my legs move from under me. "You will be with them, through winter, summer, and winter again. Across a thousand seasons you will be with them."

"And we will be with you until time comes to an end."

I look around the room and see Dany chained up, arms stretched wide. This time I move one leg and I'm kneeling behind the Queen.

"This is not my home." I move my other leg and I'm halfway up. "My home is across the sea where my people are waiting for me."

"Your people?" He ducks under the chain and walks to me and I hiss again. She strains her neck to look at us. "This? He places a hand on top of my head and I cringe. "This is what you'll find. Murderous monsters striking the land, killing and murdering everything in their path. Is this what you'll bring to your people?"

He moves near to my head and I look at him. His eyes reflect mine and I see my own eyes, shining, a bright blue. He gives me a blue smile and I try to move my arms, my sole objective now is to gouge his eyes out.

I feel him move and I hear one of my swords leave it's sheath. He moves it in front of my eyes and my reflection becomes clearer. Had I seen something like that in my time North of Wall I would have killed it. My skin was deadly white, my eyes, like I had seen in the warlock's, are blue, bright, like a light was shining inside them. The small sword moves and I feel it's pointy end on my neck.

One single thought entered my mind as the blade plunges into my neck.

"I will not die like this."


	32. 32 This Mortal Coil

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I open my eyes and look around. The snow surrounding me surprises me. I was expecting to wake up once again in the room in the House of Undying. I get up; my limbs feel light as a feather. The pain that I felt before is gone. I look down at myself and I see that I'm still wearing the Dothraki rags, but the cold doesn't hit me. I feel as warm as I was before.

"What a mess." I hear a female voice say behind me and I turn around.

Behind me is a woman. She is tall and white, with blue eyes and lips. Her hair is even whiter than Daenery's own platinum mane. She appears to be dressed in a white gown, but it blurs at her every movement. She seems to be floating above the soft white ground. She smiles at me.

"Only you child, would make such a mess out of something so simple." She passes me and stops in front of an iced basin. The sounds that come out of her mouth aren't in the common tongue, but I hear them as such.

"Who are you?" I speak and out of my mouth the same noise comes.

"I'm…a friend…" She turns to me and motions me to her side. "The more important question is, do you know who you are?"

I look at my feet and then, when the wind picks up I look to the direction it is coming from. I can see the faint image of the Wall. I turn to walk towards it.

"No," she tells me softly. "That's not it." I turn to her and frown. "That's not who you are. That's where you were."

I walk back to her. She's still smiling at me. I should feel threatened by her. If anything I knew she was a white walker. But somehow this whole situation wasn't scaring me. I was in fact unusually calm. I wasn't even angry.

"I'm…" I try to figure out what I am. What I truly am. "I'm…" I feel a cold hand on my shoulder and she's looking at me, her cold smile still in place.

"Maybe we should start by stating what you're not. You're not a boy." I nod. "As much as you hid under that black cloak, you're not a boy. You're not a mother or a wife. You're not a coward. You're not a king or a queen, not even a princess. You do not own a sling patch of earth. You're not even alive."

I look at her suddenly, her last words ringing in my ears. I'm not even alive.

"No, that's not true," I tell her. "I'm standing here, talking to you. I am alive."

"Well, you're right. Maybe I exaggerated that a bit. You are alive. But not entirely human. You're just another form of living."

"Am I a white walker?" I ask her bluntly.

"No," she says and I believe her. "You're something in between."

"How can that be?"

"Well, child, you must remember the first time that you saw your brothers." She points to the basin and I see water inside, the water shifts and I can see an image reflecting there. The white walkers that were in the place of my first death were reflected in the water. "They remember you too. You see. Most people that encounter them, they flee. And they kill them. But you, child, you stood there. Even when everything was lost, you weren't frightened by their presence. Some stand in front of them, but in their hearts they want to run. Run as far away as they can. But you, Annora, you stood with only one feeling in your heart. Kill or be killed." The image changed to me slashing wights away, the swords in my hands moving and stabbing everything I encountered, mostly wights. The expression on my face was strange. As I hacked and slashed my enemies I saw myself smiling. "You started by protecting your friend. You ran and ran until you found him, and then you decided to take a stand and fight back, but soon after you started your killing spree, protecting the kingdom was nowhere on your mind."

The image changes and I see the white walker that killed me. He had walked silently behind me and sunk his sword into my lower back, it's pointy end coming out in the front of my chest. I fell and the white walker looked at Jon, behind him a wight stood, it's cold hand moved to Jon's neck and I saw the dead man squeeze the life out of him. Jon struggled until the White Walker slapped the raven haired boy and he fell next to me.

I saw both wights and the white walker walk away into the distance, after one of them whispered something into my ear. They stopped as if listening to something and then turned around. The water moved and the image shifted. A figure stood by the side of a dead body, a small torch in it's hand. It placed the torch near the side of the body and for a while the flames consumed half of the body, but before the body was fully engulfed by flames, another figure throws a blanket, or a cloak on top of it, stopping the flames. The figures argue, the one that stopped the fire falls next to the body. It stayed there for a while, but then got up grabbed some rope and pushed the second figure away.

"That almost cost you your life," the woman tells me. "You see, fire doesn't only kill you, but it also prevents our magic to work it's way to the core of you. That's why you became what you are. Half cold, half fire."

"Half dead, half alive," I tell her and she nods.

"You can walk even after being stabbed, but you can't walk after being burnt. Then you die. They cut off your head, you die. Valerian steel kills you. And each time you rise from being killed by a human way, the white walker in you will become stronger. Sooner or later, your human side will give in and you will become what you were supposed to be all along."

"A white walker." She nods.

"We are at war, my child. And we need soldiers to fight. Wights are good enough to distract the humans, but our race is weak, our race has been dormant for many years. And unfortunately we are in need of new blood within the ranks. You, my child in the end are a blessing in disguise." I frown and she shakes her head. "But, that doesn't matter now. You need to get back and live what's left of your life."

"I take it Jon's alive." She nods.

"You might want to go to him. I hear he is in grave danger." My eyes widen at what she says, this time she grins madly. "I hear the wall might come crumbling down, even though the cold isn't going to become greater."

"The winter is coming," I say the words of the Stark house.

"So is the Long Night, child." She touches my face; her skin is cold as ice. She kisses my forehead and I feel the life being sucked out of me.


	33. 33 Ready Or Not

Beta'ed by MrsBates93

* * *

**Present**

I open my eyes once again and look up. I'm kneeling in the House of the Undying; my sword is on the floor, with my blood on it. I pick it up. In front of me a warlock stands, threatening Daenerys with staying in there. Forever and ever, he says, until they can harvest her magic. I turn the sword in my hand and get up silently. I feel the side of my neck burn and see the blood from the wound drip to the floor. I stand behind the man in front of me and place my sword in front of him, by his throat and quickly slash it. The others look at me, but don't look surprised.

"Now it's complete," another says and I look at Dany. I turn slowly and stand in front of the door nearest to me.

"Dany!" I shout at her, she strains her neck. "Burn it down." I see her smile and turn to one of her dragons.

"Dracarys." I see her dragons breathe fire at the first man and I open the door and stay outside, placing one of my sword in the door so it would close completely. I remember the woman telling me that fire could kill me, so I wanted to stay as far away from the fire as I could, I walked down a few steps as the smoke intensified. After a few moments I see Dany walk out of the room, her three babies in her arms. She looks at me smiling.

"We're unstoppable," she tells me and I grin at her.

"We are," I agree and we walk down the steps until we find the passage from where we had come inside.

We leave the tower and we find Ser Jorah walking in a circle as Kovarro hits the side of the tower with his blade. Both men look at us and we smiled at them.

"Come, we've got things to do." She walks in front of me, leaving no time for questions.

I walk behind her and Ser Jorah walks next to me.

"What happened?" he asks me as we walk back to Xaro's house. I look at him and he cringes in response. "Nice trick you used. What happened?"

"We accepted what we were. Now we are going to take what is hers."

"Are either of you hurt?" Ser Jorah asks again and I turn my face to him again and raise an eyebrow.

"Look at me. Does it look like I'd let anyone hurt us?" He shakes his head and I blink my shining eyes.

We walk through the city until we arrive at Xaro's house. Dany rounds up all of her tribe and commands the women to stay in their places and wait for orders and the men to follow her. We walk inside Xaro's quarters and we see him and Doreah sleeping. Dany instructs Kovarro to take the medallion and I stay next to him, one blade drawn.

When the Dothraki pulls the medallion off of the man's neck he gets up and his neck is exactly beneath my drawn blade. He looks at me and I press the blade into his neck and grin.

"Khaleesi, please!" Doreah pleads. "He said you'd never leave Qarth alive."

"Come," Dany simply says and I take my blade from his neck. I pass Ser Jorah who unsheathes his sword and this time it's him who's threatening the man's life silently.

We wait until both traitors are dressed and then we walk to the safe where Xaro has his stand in front of it as Kovarro pushes the stand aside and opens the valerian door. It opens slowly and it is pitch black inside.

"Ann," Dany says as she steps near the door. I nod and go inside.

The blue hue of my eyes has given me a chance to see better in the darkness. In the tunnels of the House of the Undying I had guided us through the dark tunnels.

I look around. The safe is empty; I look at Dany standing in front of the safe door and shake my head. I know she can see the movement since my eyes were still shining.

"Nothing," she states and I walk out of the safe. "Thank you, Xaro Xhoan you for teaching me this lesson."

"I am King of Qarth. I can help you now; I will help you take the Iron Throne. I'll bring you 1,000 ships," Xaro bargains.

As they are dragged inside the safe we stand there, calm, as if we weren't condemning two human beings to die inside a darkened cell. Dany turns to the men and tells them too grab the women and take everything they can. The Dothraki walk away and when I pass through the corridors I can see them pillage everything that shines.

I walk to the door that leads to the main street and stand there, hearing the commotion inside, smiling. This is probably the first time they are actually stealing from someone who deserves it.

I place a hand in front of my eyes and I see the faint blue shimmer. I'm hoping it will disappear before we get to Westeros. Hopefully it will, or else it will just bring us more trouble. At this point I have accepted what I am. I can't keep pretending to be something I'm not. I can't be someone I'm not, like I was trying to be on the Wall. I am something stronger, I'm something better. I can help my friends. I will help my friends. This is just the beginning.

"Are you ready innava?" I hear Dany's voice from behind me and I grin.

"Aye," I tell her and she stands next to me.

"How soon do you think they'll last?" she asks me.

"Who?" She nods towards the sea, motioning towards Westeros.

"Never underestimate anyone Khaleesi. They still have some fight left in them," I warn her.

"That's just not enough." She places one of her dragons on my shoulder and the creature sits there comfortably. I see it's on my burnt shoulder, I don't think I could have endured the heat that emanates from it's scales had he been on the normal one. "Between the two of us, the tribe of Dothraki and three dragons, I don't think they'll have much to fight for."

"We'll take it from them," she says "With fire…"

"And Ice…" I finish.

**_The End...?_**


End file.
